Medium Happy

The first McDonald’s opened today in 1940 in San Bernardino, CA. Two brothers, named McDonald, and their original mascot was a man wearing a chef’s hat named “Speedee”. Ray Kroc entered the fray in 1955, and Ronald McDonald came to be in 1967. Double quarter pounder with cheese, large fries and a chocolate shake. I’ll start getting in shape tomorrow.

The last great MGM musical was released today in 1958. “Gigi” starred Leslie Caron and Louis Jourdan and won nine Academy Awards including Best Picture and Best Director. The rom-com borrowed heavily from “My Fair Lady,” but holds its own in portryaing love winning out over cynicism.

Love over cynicism wasn’t exactly what Motley Crue was going for when they released “Girls, Girls, Girls” today in 1987.  Or maybe it was and I just missed the point of: “Friday night and I need a fight…my motorcycle and a switchblade knife…handful of grease in my hair feels right…but what I need to make me tight are…Girls, Girls, Girls”

“Ishtar” was released on the very same day as “Girls, Girls, Girls” and despite everything you’ve ever heard, it’s pretty damn funny for the first 45 minutes.

Happy 60th birthday to George Brett, the only player to ever hit .300 in three different decades. He still looks like he could do it. Happy 57th to Dan Patrick.

– Bill Hubbell

One of hockey’s iconic moments happened tonight in 1970, when Bobby Orr took a give and go from Derek Sanderson and scored 40 seconds into overtime to complete a four game sweep over the St. Louis Blues and give Boston it’s first Stanley Cup in 29 years. Believe it or not, that photo did not make Sports Illustrated’s top 100 sports photographs list last year. Really, SI?

Did the ’80′s style officially kick off today in 1982, with the release of Duran Duran’s “Rio”? It only peaked at #6 on the Billboard charts, but it remained on the list for 129 weeks. Don Johnson noticed. Hit singles included, “Hungry Like the Wolf,” “Rio,” “Save a Prayer,” and “New Religion.”

Madonna’s homage to herself (which one?), “Truth or Dare” hit screens today in 1991. It was a sort of boring episode of “Behind the Music.”

Weezer released their debut album today in 1994. Entitled, “Weezer,” it’s always been known as the Blue Album. It was a fantastic debut and set the course for Weezer’s beguiling run. Hits were “Buddy Holly,” “Undone-The Sweater Song,” and “Say it Ain’t So.” The best songs on the album are “My Name is Jonas“ “Surf Wax America.”

Today in 1893 the Supreme Court of the United States ruled in Nix vs. Hedden that the tomato is a vegetable and not a fruit. Imagine the peace the justices slept with that night… but the debate rages to this day.

Bono is 53 years old today and Chris Berman is 58. For someone who was born in 1955, it’s sort of odd that Berman doesn’t have a pop culture reference beyond his 20th birthday. The once beloved anchor has done too much of this to stay that way:

– Bill Hubbell

“The Cosby Show” ended its eight year run tonight in 1992. The last episode was titled, “And So We Commence.” Theo graduates from college and Cliff remembers how he thought his son would never live up to his potential. The show was about an upper middle class family living in Brooklyn. It starred comedian Bill Cosby and a lot of sweaters. Lisa Bonet had the look of a breakout star, but it never happened for her.

It was today in 1945 that Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun killed themselves a day after getting married. I’ve heard of bad honeymoons, but that’s right up there.

Today in 1975 marked the Fall of Saigon as Communist forces took control of South Vietnam, signaling the end of the war and denting the US’s perfect record.

A crazed fan came out of the crowd and stabbed Monica Seles today in 1993.

“Mean Girls” hit the screen today in 2004. The movie that would launch the career of Lindsey Lohan instead pushed Rachel McAdams and Amanda Seyfried toward stardom.

– Bill Hubbell

Today in 1990 the Hubble Space Telescope was launched into space from the Shuttle Challenger. If I had a nickel for every time someone’s asked me, “like the telescope?” I’d have about a dollar. (People hate science.)

Talk about Argofuckyourself…. today in 1980 Jimmy Carter’s limp-ass military launched Operation Eagle Claw in an attempt to rescue the 52 Americans being held hostage in Iran. It was one of Delta Force’s first missions and it failed miserably. Eight helicopters were sent to the initial staging area, but only five showed up operational. In planning the rescue mission, it was decided that the mission could be aborted if six or less of the helicopters remained operational, even though only four were needed for the mission. The commanders of the mission asked Carter if they could abort and in a decision that is still discussed in military circles, Carter aborted the mission. Eight US servicemen then died when one of the helicopters crashed into a transport aircraft. I think it was the only time in its history the US ever dropped to “others receiving votes” in the world power rankings.

Today in 1953 Queen Elizabeth II knighted Winston Churchill. Nick Faldo has since been knighted. That’s sort of like Babe Ruth and Don Sutton both being in the baseball Hall of Fame, no?

It was today in 2005 that Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger became the 265th Pope of the Roman Catholic Church, taking the name, Pope Benedict XVI. He resigned earlier this year, becoming the first Pope to step down since 1415 and the first to do so of his own accord since 1294. I think you can find him singing karaoke on Tuesday nights at Joe’s Crab Shack in Naples.

Tom Petty released his first solo album today in 1989, “Full Moon Fever.” Some of the Heartbreakers were a little pissed off about it, but all but one of them ended up contributing at least a little. Petty tells a great story about how Heartbreakers bassist Howie Epstein heard a track and shook his head no and called it terrible. The song was “Free Falling.” The lesson, as always, the lead singer is the lead singer is the lead singer. (Unless it’s Stillwater.) That song, “Running Down a Dream,” “I Won’t Back Down,” “Yer So Bad,” “The Apartment Song,” ”Zombie Zoo,” I’d say TP did okay.

David Robinson wrapped up the NBA scoring title tonight in 1994 by scoring 71 points against the Clippers, to finish the year with a 29.8 average, besting Shaquille O’Neal’s 29.3. At the time Robinson was just the fourth NBA player to score over 70 in a game, joining Wilt, Elgin and David Thompson. Kobe has since joined them.

Barbara Streisand is 71, Danny Noonan (Michael O’keefe) is 58, Kelly Clarkson is 31 and Tyson Ritter (All-American Rejects) is 29.

Ritter:

1. Gives You Hell
2. The Last Song
3. It Ends Tonight
4. I For You
5. Kids in the Street
6. Dirty Little Secret
7. Swing Swing

– Bill Hubbell

I was living in Scottsdale on April 22, 2004, and it was like the entire city had the wind knocked out of it as the news spread across the radio. Pat Tillman, the ASU and Arizona Cardinal great had been killed in Afghanistan. Tillman had given up the life of a successful professional athlete join the Army after 9/11. He became an Army Ranger and was killed by friendly fire in the hellish mountains of Afghanistan. Tillman’s legacy became complicated in the near term after his death in a way that would have pissed him off to no end. He was a man who followed the voice in his head no matter what, and that’s a brave thing to do.

It was today in 2000 that federal agents stormed a home in Miami to seize 6-year old Elian Gonzalez and returned him to Cuba to live with his father. Gonzalez had been living with relatives in Miami. He turns 20 later this year and is in the Cuban Army.

Prince released his follow up to “Purple Rain” today in 1985, “Around the World in a Day.” Though it was no “Purple Rain,” it was still fantastic, with “Raspberry Beret,” “Paisley Park,” “Pop Life,” “Around the World in a Day,” and “America.”

Happy 76th to Jack Nicholson and 77th to Glen Campbell.

Nicholson:

1. A Few Good Men (the scene is court gets all the attention… this one might be better)
2. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
3. As Good As It Gets
4. Chinatown
5. Terms of Endearment

Campbell:

1. Rhinestone Cowboy
2. Gentle on My Mind
3. I’d Build a Bridge
4. Sunflower
5. Galveston
6. Wichita Lineman
7. A Better Place (off his last album, after he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, he sings beautifully about moving on)

– Bill Hubbell

Twitter might have had to just shut down for a couple of hours tonight in 1975.

“M.A.S.H” became the first show in the history of television to have one of it’s lead characters die a tragic death on the show’s third season finale, “Abyssinia, Henry.” 

Lt. Colonel Henry Blake got word at the start of the episode that he had accumulated enough points to be rotated home and honorably discharged. The rest of the show had Blake saying his goodbyes to the rest of the staff at the 4077 MASH unit. The last scene of the episode had Radar entering the O.R. and delivering the shocking news.

In news that might have been just as shocking to those who were around for it, Caligula became emperor of Rome today in 37.

Even his bust had herpes. 

It was today in 1992 that South Africa voted to end Apartheid. 

Today in 1902, Enrico Caruso recorded 10 arias for the Gramophone Co, becoming the first artist to make a record. Tomorrow, 111 years and a day later, Justin Timberlake’s “The 20/20 Experience” comes out. That seems about right.

“The Paper” came out today in 1994. Directed by Ron Howard and starring Michael Keaton, Robert Duvall, Glenn Close and Marisa Tomei, it got middling reviews. I remember liking it, but I’ve never seen it since. What the hell cable?

Happy 34th birthday to Adam Levine, who expertly used television to superstardom. I’m not going to rank Maroon 5 songs, but I’ll admit to liking this one.

– Bill Hubbell

It was today in 1970 that my high school, Minneapolis Southwest, celebrated its only State Hockey Championship with a huge rally in the gym. The Indians had defeated their hated rival, the Edina Hornets, 1-0 in overtime two nights before. The young man at the microphone was Southwest’s phenomenal goalie, Brad Shelstad, who went on to be an All-American for the Minnesota Gophers. The Minnesota High School Hockey Tournament is the best high school sports event in the country and it’s going on now at the Xcel Energy Center in St. Paul…. moving along…

The Fight of the Century was tonight in 1971 at Madison Square Garden. It was the only time two undefeated heavyweight champions met each other and Joe Frazier won a unanimous decision of Muhammad Ali. Ali had led in the first half of the fight, but Frazier wore him down as it went on, knocking him down in the 15th round. Ali would win both of the rematches.

“Beavis and Butthead” made its debut on MTV tonight in 1993. If it didn’t make you laugh, you were dumber than they were.

I waxed on the brilliance of the Coen brothers earlier this week, so I’ll simply say that their best movie was “Fargo,” which hit screens today in 1996. The Coen brothers knocked on my parents door while scouting locations for the movie (they grew up 10 minutes from my parents home) and my mom was more than giddy. Our house proved to be much too big for the Coen’s to use (I think they just wanted to look at it). “Fargo” itself was a small movie that was so, so, SO big.

REM released “Out of Time” today in 1991. It won three Grammys and sold over 18 million copies. Huge REM fan, but I never liked “Losing My Religion.”

“Mask” opened today in 1985. Eric Stoltz played Rocky Dennis, a young man born with a skull deformity and Cher won raves as his strong-willed, biker mom. The movie ended with this poem written by Dennis:

These things are good:

Ice cream and cake,

A ride on a Harley,

Seeing monkeys in the trees,

The rain on my tongue,

And the sun shining on my face.

These things are a drag:

Dust in my hair,

Holes in my shoes,

No money in my pocket,

And the sun shining on my face

The curtain fell on one of television’s greatest comedy teams tonight in 1975, when “The Odd Couple” ran it’s last original episode, “Felix Remarries.”  Though a regular at the Emmy awards, “The Odd Couple” incredibly never cracked the top 25 in the Nielsen ratings, but always performed well in summer reruns. The last episode saw Felix win back his ex-wife Gloria, leaving Oscar to live alone again as a bachelor.

Felix: Your dinner’s in the oven; turn it off in twenty minutes. [pause] Oscar … what can I say? Five years ago you took me in: a broken man on the verge of … mental collapse. I leave here a cured human being. I owe it all to you. [gesturing toward apartment] It’s all yours buddy. I salute you. [empties waste basket onto floor]Oscar: Felix, you know how I’m gonna salute you? I’m gonna clean that up.Felix: It has not been in vain.[They shake hands and Felix exits stage right through front door. After door closes …]Oscar: [swings his hand through the air] I’m not gonna clean that up.[exits stage left to bedroom to audience laughter][Felix sneaks back in stage right and looks at floor]Felix: [disgustedly] I knew he wouldn’t clean it up! [proceeds to pick up trash to audience applause] (fade out)

On the night of March 6, 1965, the sheriff of Dallas County, Alabama, Jim Clark, ordered all white males over the age of 21 to report to the court house to be deputized. The following day as 5-600 civil rights marchers headed out of Selma, Alabama, they were met by a horde of troopers. Tear gas, nightsticks and brutality ensued. Televised images and newspaper photos spread around the country and world and roused support for the U.S. Civil Rights Movement. Amelia Boynton was gassed and nearly beaten to death and became the photo most associated what with would be called, Bloody Sunday.

Today in 1876 Alexander Graham Bell got his US patent for the telephone. His data plan was pretty weak and he could only get one bar at a time.

Sissy Spacek would win an Academy Award for portraying Loretta Lynn in “Coal Miner’s Daughter” which was released today in 1980.

A slightly less award-worthy film was released today in 1997, but it was much better than anybody thought it would be. Howard Stern’s “Private Parts” was the movie version of his rise to prominence in radio.

Today in 1970 Austin Carr of Notre Dame set an NCAA tournament record by scoring 61 points against Ohio. Nobody has scored as many as 50 points since David Robinson in 1987.

Today in 1987 saw the first time a rap album ever hit #1 on the Billboard album charts, when the Beastie Boys debut album, “Licensed to Ill” achieved the top spot.

David Bowie dropped “Young Americans” today in 1975. It was the last of his “glam” records and had the hits, “Fame,” “Fascination” and “Young Americans.”

– Bill Hubbell

The Dude: Yeah, well. The Dude abides.
The Stranger: The Dude abides. I don’t know about you but I take comfort in that. It’s good knowin’ he’s out there. The Dude. Takin’ ‘er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he makes the finals.

The Big Lebowski, the iconic stoner, who gives a shit about anything, fuck it all anyway cult classic hit movie theaters today in 1998. Jeff Bridges is The Dude, the centerpiece of the Coen brothers movie that at first glance is nothing more than a slightly amusing stoner movie. The Big Lebowski is satire at it’s finest and its mark is the politically correct world we’ve become. But what makes the film a classic is that it has a secret heart the size of bowling alley.

The Alamo fell today in 1836 when it was overrun by Mexican soldiers after a 13-day siege. Davy Crockett and Jim Bowie were both killed in the battle.

Walter Cronkite signed off for the last time tonight in 1981 as the host of the CBS Evening News, which he anchored for 19 years.

Tonight in 1985 18-year old Mike Tyson had his first professional fight, knocking out Hector Mercedes in Albany, New York.

Today in 1987 it seemed like Mel Gibson and Lisa Bonet would never not be huge movie stars. “Lethal Weapon” and “Angel Heart” both hit the big screen and Hollywood was theirs. Bonet was a nobody in the blink of an eye and Gibson had a long career before being overcome by madness in the last decade.

Speaking of great satire, Ring Lardner, the author of one of the best sports satires ever penned, was born today in 1885. “You Know Me Al,” published in 1916 is pure perfection in sending up the clueless, entitled mind of the spoiled athlete. It was “Eastbound and Down” 90 years before Kenny Powers was born.

Happy 41st birthday to Shaquille O’Neal, who put up 61 points and 23 rebounds for the Lakers in a win over the Clippers on his 28th birthday, tonight in 2000.

And Happy 66th to Rob Reiner. His top 10:

1. A Few Good Men
2. When Harry Met Sally
3. The Princess Bride
4. This Is Spinal Tap
5. The American President
6. Misery
7. The Sure Thing
8. Stand By Me
9. Ghosts of Mississippi
10. All in the Family

– Bill Hubbell