IT’S ALL HAPPENING! Tuesday, March 4


61-point games? The Big Dipper had, yawn, six such outings.

1. 61

LeBron James goes for a career-high 61 points versus the Charlotte Bobcat Goldthwaites, who are not as horrid as they used to be. Moving from horrid to torrid, James was 8 for 10 from beyond the arc, which is astounding because he still shoots line drives.

So now LeBron and Roger Maris have both hit 61 once.

Buried beneath the lede: Al “Movin’ On Up” Jefferson scores 38 boards and grabs 19 rebounds in a losing effort, and the Heat win their eighth straight. They now only trail Indiana by one game in the Loss column.

By the way, all of you breathless LeBron worshippers. Ya boy’s 61-pointer is the 64th 60-or-more point game in NBA history. Exactly half of those 60-or-more point games, i.e. 32, were posted by Wilt Chamberlain, who is NOT on LBJ’s hypothetical Rushmore list. What Evs.

You want to know what really makes this interesting for those of you following the two-man MVP race? Kevin Durant is home tonight versus the Philadelphia 76ers, HELLO!

2. Despicable US, Too

“We’re The Millers”, one of 68 films that earned more at the box office than “12 Years a Slave” in 2013.

What do the following have in common: “The Croods”, “We’re The Millers”, “Grown Ups 2”, “Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa”, “This Is The End”? They all grossed TWICE AS MUCH money as “12 Years a Slave” did in 2013. Hell, not one but two Tyler Perry films earned more than TYaS. “The Lone Ranger”, which absolutely blew, earned 40% more and even “After Earth”, which won the Razzy for the year’s worst film, out-earned the Oscar winner for Best Picture.

So, yeah, like Ellen said, we’re all racists.

By the way, Will Leitch did a nice job ranking the Oscar hosts of the past 20 years or so. And I loved Ellen’s monologue. Polite, using misdirection and soft-spoken tones to land the sharpest jabs. It’s Bob Newhart 101, and she excels at it.

And here’s the Dorothy Parker of the Upper Midwest, Katie McCollow, on the Oscars.

3. Re-Meet The Beadle

Kate Bock (not Beadle…right letter, wrong person…Damn!). To quote Radar O’Reilly, “Ah, Bock.”

I’m really NOT buying the Cult of Beadle, and I think this Return of Beadle montage is its own self-incriminating evidence. As Colin warns, “Stay humble (nope, didn’t do that), stay focused (strike two), and watch out for bears (which, in this case, would be NBC exec Sam Flood).”

Beadle failed horribly to adjust her game at NBC, and it wasn’t all the Peacock’s fault (and I worked there, so I have some insight to how they make the sausage). Somewhere along the line she began to think she was a MAJOR talent, like someone witty and snarky enough to be Jimmy Kimmel or Letterman or Seth Meyers, and she’s just…not.

I understand that her game is light fluff, but the entire montage is 100% devoid of humility. She might’ve won me back had she just said, “Well, that water was a little too deep for me. I found out I prefer the kiddie pool, and I’m thankful they have room for me.”

By the way, you know who WON’T be opining on Beadle’s solipsistic voyage from Bristol to Birmingham and back? Keith Olbermann…though he might if she were hopping back to another network.

4. Your Obligatory Rust Cohle Update

You come here often?

Finally, thanks to this Rolling Stone interview, I find that Matthew McConaughey and I have something in common (besides our chiseled features, that is): “I received all eight episodes, but I said, ‘You know what? I’m gonna check them out each Sunday night and then sit on each episode for a week.‘ I’ve found myself going back and watching each one of them about three times during the week and fucking really enjoying it.”

Three is my steady figure for number of times I watch the current week’s “True Detective” episode myself.

McConaughey on Rust: “What I like about Rust is everything he says is true. Like it or not. He can’t suffer fools.” Hey, where have I heard that before?

Your daily TD epiphany: It occurs to me that 2012 Rust might have gone slightly Crash, i.e., gotten himself a little high or messed up, before walking into that consultation room with the two detectives. Have you noticed how his face looked a little different in Sunday’s episode, even though it was the same year?

Also, he was toying with Gilbough and Papania, literally using the beer can cut-outs to recreate the crime scene right in front of them, giving it to them, and they didn’t see it. What did Marty tell them: It’s that old detective adage, you miss what’s right under your nose? That’s Nic Pizzolatto rewarding you for paying attention.

Yes, in lieu of payment, I will be accepting “True Detective” action figures.

5. That’s No Man!


He’s 50-feet tall, and not melting any time soon.

Greg Novak, a farmer in the central Minnesota town of Gilman, built this frozen water giant. Keep in mind, they also have this in Minnesota.

The Hall

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner

1937:  Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P ; 1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B;1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF; 1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B; 1941: Wee Willie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B; 1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B; 1943: Mickey Cochrane, C; Frankie Frisch, 2B 1944: Ed Walsh, P; Old Hoss Radbourn, P 1945: Lou Gehrig, 1B; Kid Nichols, P 1946: Ed Delahanty, LF; Lefty O’Doul 1947: Pud Galvin, P; John McGraw, INF 1948: Carl Hubbell, P; Addie Joss, P 1949: Harry Heilman, OF/1B; Monte Ward, P/SS

John McGraw

1950: Cool Papa Bell, CF; Jimmie Foxx, 1B 1951: Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown, P; Josh Gibson, C 1952: Paul Waner, RF; Charlie Gehringer, 2B 1953: Mel Ott, RF; Hank Greenberg, 1B 1954: Eddie Plank, P; Dan Brouthers, 1B 1955: “Wahoo” Sam Crawford, OF; John Clarkson, P1956: Chief Bender, P; Bill Dickey, C 1957: Sam Rice, RF; Joe DiMaggio, CF 1958: Bill Terry, 1B; Heinie Manush, LF 1959: Dizzy Dean, P; Tim Keefe, P 1960: Gabby Hartnett, C; Mickey Welch, P1961: Bob Feller, P; Ducky Medwick, LF 1962: Luke Appling, SS; Jesse Burkett, LF 1963 Jackie Robinson, 2B; Zack Wheat, LF 1964: Jake Beckley, 1B; Rube Waddell, P 1965: Ralph Kiner, 1B, Lefty Grove, P 1966: Ted Williams, LF; Smoky Joe Wood, P/OF 1967: Roy Campanella, C; Max Carey, OF 1968: Goose Goslin, LF; Rabbit Maranville, SS 1969: Stan Musial, 1B/OF


Ferris Fain, 1B; 1947-1955, Philadelphia A’s, 3 others

Though not actually in the Hall of Fame (he only played nine seasons), this two-time National League batting champion and five-time All-Star belongs. If not there, then at least in the Hall of Fain. Hello? His father, a jockey who led Duval to a second-place finish in the 1912 Kentucky Derby; his mother, a domestic maid. Now there’s a story…

Earle Combs, CF; 1924-1935, New York Yankees


The leadoff hitter and centerfielder for the Murderer’s Row era teams, Combs was no mere bystander. He only hit below .299 once in 11 full seasons and racked up a career batting average of .325. “The Kentucky Colonel” was the most popular Yankee among sportswriters, too, because he was such a gentleman.

Remote Patrol

Florida at South Carolina

ESPNU 7 p.m.

In South Carolina, it should be known as Court Strom-ing.

The Gators are No. 1 in the nation. The Gamecocks just upset Kentucky, about whom Fran Frischilla said last night, “I saw them play in Dallas earlier this season, and John (Calipari) told me they were running JayVee drills for them.” Will the Cocks win, storm the court, and be fined $25,000 by the SEC for the second time in one week?



4 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING! Tuesday, March 4

  1. I was expecting something on HIMYM today. Maybe it’s still in the DVR queue? Not the best season by far, but the end is near and that makes the last month worth watching.

  2. So the Walters Hall of Fame inducts two players named Goose and Rabbit in the same year?

    Chances are they both got their start in the Farm League.

  3. MVP! MVP! MVP! MVP! MVP! 1,2,3,4, and FIVE! 🙂

    Interestingly enough, my 1st athlete crush was Wilt Chamberlain. I was 7 years old. Alas, too young even for Wilt. All these decades later, my current fav is LeBron. Alas, I’m now too old.

    Anyway, I got to see the game on TV yesterday when NBA-TV ran a LeBroncore (their word, I swear). It wasn’t really till the middle of the 3rd quarter that the HEAT announcers stopped marveling over Al Jefferson & realized LBJ was on his way to an historical performance. To do it when you’re feeling 100% perfect is impressive enough, but with a broken nose & wearing a sweaty, uncomfortable mask, come on jdubs, THAT was impressive! My fave shot of the night was the backward dunk after Rio’s (I think) miss. AWWWEEESOME!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *