IT’S ALL HAPPENING! Friday, March 14

STARTING FIVE

John Junker and Charlie Weis, in better days for both.

1. For All The Tostitos

John Junker gets time.

Junker, the erstwhile Grand Poobah of the Fiesta Bowl, was sentenced yesterday to serve eight months in a minimum-security federal prison in Safford, Arizona.

By this time yesterday Doug MacEachern of the Arizona Republic had penned an editorial saying that he hoped Junker would not be sentenced to do any time.

“What he did may have been bad, but he’s not George Soros,” wrote MacEachern. “He’s not David Koch. And he has been punished already. A lot.”

Even if we restrict ourselves solely to the crimes Junker was found guilty of –illegal campaign-finance conspiracy–, you have to understand what was transpiring here. Employees were basically being bullied to contribute to politicians. These employees understood that there are plenty of people who would love to work in sports, would love their jobs. Yes, the employees were reimbursed, but Junker was abusing his power both to corrupt his employees and, of course, to bribe politicians. It’s the most nefarious type of crime, from a man who had everything.

I hope Junker realizes that, in the long run, serving time will actually help him. If he is as truly contrite as he has attempted to portray himself, he will accept this punishment.

2. The Sharper Image

Sharper is a former Pro Bowl-level player.

 

If you are keeping score –and I admit the scorecard is beginning to look cluttered – former NFL safety (Ha!) Darren Sharper has now been charged with date-raping nine women in five states:

Arizona: two

California: two

Louisiana: two

Nevada: two

Florida: one

Is it just me or has this story been relatively buried in the past month? This is an alleged serial rapist who was working at the NFL Network not long ago.

3. Lunardi Eclipse

Her name is Samantha Hoopes and she hails from Doylestown, Pa., which is close enough to Joey Brackets and Drexel Hill, Pa.

Do you know Joe Lunardi? Where he comes from, how he became ESPN’s Mel Kiper of the NCAA tournament?

Neither did I.

Turns out Lunardi is a St. Joseph’s University alumnus (“The Hawk will never die”) who works (worked?) as the school’s assistant VP of Marketing Communications (Joe, you MUST know my old friend and roommate Marty Farrell, no?) and does color commentary on the Hawks broadcasts. In 2008 and last year he correctly predicted every tournament team, while nailing 63 of 65 in 2009 and 64 of 65 in 2010.

4. Chu Get What You Play For

“He was Jeopardy’s real-life version of Sean Connery.” “Who is Arthur Chu?”

When National Public Radio (NPR) devotes time to a Jeopardy! contestant, you know that he has crossed some pop culture boundaries. Arthur Chu, who won nearly $300,000 in eleven straight episodes, finally was deposed earlier this week (the show was taped last November, so Chu was hardly surprised). A polarizing figure who finished No. 3 all-time in winnings ($297,000) on the Trebek-athon, Chu figured out a better mousetrap for how to be successful at the long-running game show: he skipped around categories.

Honestly, I’m barely smart enough to keep up with “Wheel of Fortune” (I’d like to buy a diphthong?), but whatever Chu did worked. Can’t fault him for that.

5. Moose Hunter Bagged

Why would anyone murder this guy? Let ‘em live.

So, the moose hunter who happened upon Chris McCandless’ lifeless body all those years ago, Gordon Samel, was shot dead by police in Wasilla, Alaska, yesterday following a high-speed chase. Samel, 52, supposedly suffered from bipolar disorder and was backing his car toward police after they finally had cornered him. It was Samel’s discovery of McCandless that lit the spark for Jonathan Krakauer’s cult-classic book, “Into The Wild.”

Reserves

Heroes of the Cookoutateria

So, the Cookoutateria –not t

o be confused with the Steakateria — is one of the two restaurants that was kind enough to employ me during one of my frequent involuntary sabbaticals from journalism. Just from last summer’s staff we had a second-year medical student at NYU and my friend Chris, who “moonlights” as the managing director of an NYC hedge fund. Here’s Chris’ contribution to the blog (“I’m smaht, Sonny! I’m smaht!”)

***
Our good friend and occasional IAH! writer Gene, a.k.a. @okerland, noted that schools with at ” -ut” in their title lost yesterday by 12 (UTEP), 32 (Utah), 34 (Utah State) and 61 (Rutgers).

The actual UT, Texas, won by 17.

***

We’ll come back next week with “The Hall” and “Remote Patrol.” Been sort of a busy week here. Thanks.

 

3 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING! Friday, March 14

  1. On this year’s Oscars, pretty much every actress under 50 wore dresses with their boobs hanging out. In the pathetic annual SI PORN issue, one can expect to see such mammary displays, but can IAH not be a FREAKIN SAFE HAVEN?

    You owe me a shirtless pic of LeBron.

    I don’t know if the Sharper story has been buried as I stopped watching/listening/reading about the NFL last December (except here) but when I did see about another accusation on the SC crawl a few days ago, I was shocked. I had liked Darren Sharper when I saw him on the NFL television shows & thought he was a TV natural & still can’t quite get my head around the idea that he’s a serial rapist. Of course, expertly hiding one’s dark side seems to be true of most serial rapists/killers & how they go unrevealed for so long. I guess we’ll see a background story-expose on him soon enough. Rolling Stone?

  2. So how is it in your story with Lunardi, leading with the Eclipse wordplay, you somehow don’t jump through Hoopes?!? Or was that too obvious?

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