by John Walters

Happy 59th, Bo Derek!

Starting Five

Golden State, like Curry (40 points last night), is in top form

1. The Fun Bunch

Trailing by 23 points in the 2nd quarter, the Golden State Warriors go on a game-ending 22-5 run at Staples Center to dismiss the Clippers. They’re now 13-0 with a home game versus Chicago (winners of 4 in a row), a trip to Denver, and then a home game versus the LOLakers in the way of becoming the first team to start 16-0.

Golden State are the most universally loved winners since that dude who kept calling his wife “principessa”

And we’re all in love with them. They’re in that Roberto Benigni stage with us, just before and after his Oscar win. And see, Roberto did it well. He never attempted to improve upon that. Life is Beautiful Due? I don’t think so.

Interim GSW coach Luke Walton, who has NEVER been a head coach anywhere, is now 13-0 in relief of Steve Kerr. That’s going to look good on his resume.

2. ISIS Gets Served

This is Andrew Neil of the BBC, eloquently opening his show with a Tale of the Tape, France versus ISIS.

When it comes to Islamic jihadist terrorists barking “Allah Akbar,” I always revert to Uncle Ruslan’s line about his two nephews in Boston when asked what motivated them to bomb the finish area of the Boston Marathon: “They’re losers.”

Mais non! Brigitte Bardot fails to make the cut for Neil’s rant

An entire culture who realizes that civilization has passed them by has two choices: 1) roll up the sleeves of your thawb and catch up, or 2) throw rocks at the winners (while availing yourselves of all the modern luxuries they’ve created and you did not).

We need to talk about security in terms of protecting ourselves from ISIS. But we also need to talk about insecurity, which is the genesis of their hatred. They’re losers.

3. Heismanology Between the Lines

Navy’s Keenan Reynolds has scored an NCAA career-record 81 rushing TDs. Why not invite him to the Heisman presentation as a finalist?

Last night I got home and parked myself on the couch, anxious and excited for the kickoff of East Carolina (the 51st state) at Central Florida (the state of disarray, at 0-10), but first Adnan, Joey and Danny needed to chat about Heisman favorites. Their top 5, if I recall correctly: Baker Mayfield, DeShaun Watson, Ezekiel Elliott, Derrick Henry and in last place was, I believe, you know, the guy who was indisputably the greatest college football player in the nation just a month ago, Leonard Fournette.

I think they had Mayfield No. 1. I like Baker Mayfield. I LOVE his story (and you should, to0). But this is why, at times, I don’t like certain aspects of ESPN: because they trick you into thinking they’re practicing honest, unbiased sports journalism, and then you are compelled to remember that at the end of the day they are a television station that needs to ย hit its numbers.

Baker Mayfield was splashed all over the screen. That may be because TCU is at Oklahoma in prime time on ABC on Saturday (and because FOX has the more intriguing Big 12 matchup, Baylor at Oklahoma State). And then three of those four other guys play for teams that ESPN believes — hopes? I don’t know — will make the College Football Playoff, which it also will televise.

Cook wears defenders as capes

Dalvin Cook, running back, Florida State. Arguably the best offensive player in the country.

Christian McCaffrey, running back/KR/PR, Stanford: The Vanilla Reggie Bush.

Carl Nassib, defensive end, Penn State. Leads the nation in Sacks and Tackles for Loss.

Cook was an afterthought and the other two were not even mentioned. ESPN does so many things so well; and then it attempts to frame a conversation so that it dovetails with its broadcast goals and it all feels a little sleazy.

4. Non-Philadelphia 7’6″ers

Ndiaye, left, and Fall, right, are both 7’6″

This photo should go directly to the Naismith Hall of Fame because except for a tip-off between Yao Ming and Shawn Bradley (updated: Manute Bol and Gheorge Muresan), this would be the tallest tip off in history. Mamadou Ndiaye, left, of UC Irvine jumped center against Tacko Fall of Central Florida two nights ago.

Both men are 7’6″. By the way, they whiffed on the tip, which is why maybe THIS photo is the one you send to Springfield.

The Anteaters won, 61-60, to improve to 3-0. The line on both gentlemen:

Fall: 27 minutes, 6 points, 7 rebounds, 4 blocks.

Ndiaye: 19 minutes (foul trouble), 5 points, 2 rebounds.

Philadelphia should have to draft at least one, if not both, of them.

5. George-ous

That’s Katie George, senior volleyball player at Louisville…

And that’s Katie George, model and reigning Miss Kentucky….

And that, too, is Katie George, a reporter at WLKY (yes, it’s all the same person).

And this, above, is Phyllis George, who is a former Miss Texas, a former Miss America and is THE GODMOTHER of all women in on-air sports. In the Seventies she brought all the steam to the CBS pre-game shows and she and Brent used to flirt shamelessly on TV as Irv Cross just looked on and flashed the pre-Tom Jackson “What am I doing here with these people?” face.

Oh, and Phyllis George went on to marry the governor of Kentucky….but they are no relation.

Music 101

Uptown Funk

The AMA’s are on Sunday. I think this tune, which has been viewed more than one BILLION times on YouTube, should win for Best Song.

Remote Patrol


American Music Awards

ABC 8 p.m.

Tune in to see Taylor Swift and also to see how old and out of touch you are…..

2 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. Er, NO, we are NOT “all in love” with the GSW! I was THRILLED to see that the Clips were up by 20 & planned to watch the 2nd half but as soon as I put my bedroom TV on TNT, I fell asleep. Woke up to ‘Charmed’. I was not. Clicked over to Mike & Mike & heard the confounding news & then I remembered who the Clippers are. ARGH!

    Meanwhile, the REAL “Sexiest Man Alive” (People magazine is helmed by nitwits), one LeBron ‘Sweet Pea’ James not only led his team to a payback victory over the Bucks earlier in the night, his ugly beard is gone (YEAH), replaced with some sexy stubble & a Movember ‘stache. Looks like a black Magnum, P.I., he does. Hm, hm, hm! AND these days he’s setting a new fashion trend on the court with some shorter shorts. Any time I can see MORE of the King is a GOOD time. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Oh, & all those people (media) going on & on (& on) about the pathetic Eastern Conference & the big, bad Western Conf – need to just STOP it! The West has the Kings, Nuggets, Pelicans, Rockets, Trailblazers & the lowly Lakers & apparently only a woeful (Eastern conf) Brooklyn Nets team can even take the Dubs to OT!

    Ok, ok, I have to give the Warriors some respect as they have been mighty impressive (except against the Nets) & if they win 70 games or so this season, fine (as long as they don’t win more than 25 in a row before a loss; want the Heat to keep their 2nd place on the Streak-o-meter with 27 consecutive Wins). And if all the growing hype & wins tire these fellas out before Playoff time, more’s the better!

    So, tomorrow I’ll be rooting for my 2 CFB teams AND for Baylor. And I may check out the Bama game in hopes of catching sight of this mythical “tin horn”. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Question – if Okl St loses to Baylor & OKL wins their game but then Okl St beats OKL in their final game next Saturday, will ND still be in the Playoff (barring a loss in their finals 2 games)? That’s what my Magic 8 ball says but, well, IT’s been LESS than truthful at times! Fingers crossed. Go Irish! Go Buckeyes! Er, go Baylor!

  2. John –

    I tweeted this at you this morning, but since you mentioned ISIS in today’s IAH, thought I’d send it again – an article in The Atlantic titled “What ISIS Really Wants.”

    Though quite long, I felt it was well done (though I like my steak medium) and fairly enlightening.

    Also – are you suggesting that ESPN’s producers influence/dictate the opinions of the their on-air talent to advance the channel’s ratings/self-interest?

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