by John Walters

Starting Five

What if he were the Leaker-in-Chief?

What if he were the Leaker-in-Chief?


A funny thought occurred to us as the Trump White House was imploding, primarily due to leaks from within:  What if Barry from the Block was the source for a lot of WaPo’s intel on how Trump officials had spoken to Russian operatives during the campaign? Revenge is a dish best served from your billionaire pal’s jet boat in the Caribbean…

Also, who’s the lucky Secret Service bloke who landed the Obama post-presidency detail? That’s a sweet gig.


p.s. We know there’s so much to unwrap with the Trump/Russia scandal, but let’s just save most of that for tomorrow, shall we? We know how this is going to end.

Joltin’ Joe Trudeau

“Must I?”

Missed this from Monday, but between the wistful pre-Valentine’s Day stares he received from Ivanka, the handshake showdown, and Spicey getting his first name (it’s Pierre  Update: Apparently, it’s Justin) wrong at a later presser, the Canadian prime minister made quite an impression during his White House visit. “It’s another day of Trump/Another day of Trump…”


3. Messi Match in Paris

Di Maria was angelic on the pitch

Di Maria was angelic on the pitch

Well, that went poorly. In their Champions League round of 16 versus Paris-St. Germain in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower, Barcelona was skunked 4-0. Barca, which may have the greatest collection of (South American) talent of any one side on the planet, now must win at least 4-0 at Camp Nou in a few weeks to advance to the quarters. No side has overcome such a deficit after the first tie.

The Paris-St. Germain’ians were led by Angel Di Maria, who scored two goals on his 29th birthday. Like Lionel Messi of Barca, he is an Argentine.

Jesus has not risen....

Jesus has not risen….

Equally momentous soccer news yesterday: Gabriel Jesus, the 19 year-old wunderkind for Manchester City out of Brazil, fractured his metatarsal bone in his right foot in a 2-0 defeat of (MH’s favorite side) AFC Bournemouth on Monday. Jesus will likely miss the rest of the season. Look at us, giving you soccer injury reports.

(Now please don’t ask us to report on bizarre NHL coaching hires).

4. Rumor Has It

A German Shepherd from Wisconsin named Rumor was awarded Best In Show at the 141st Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show last night. The pooch bested 3,000 other woofers from 202 other breeds and afterward answered questions from the media such as, “Isn’t he a good dog! Isn’t he a good dog!”

Then Rumor took a dump on the Madison Square Garden carpet and was banned for life from returning by James Dolan.

5. LeBron Goes 5-Hole

And one….Was that really necessary, LBJ? And against the dude who should’ve been his Cavs teammate. Well, now, that’s embarrassing.

Related: Wiggins dropped 41 on the Cavs.

Also related: Minnesota lost (I’m bummed about the Zach LaVine injury).


I mean, I get it, Kate Upton is quite the milk maid, but in terms of sheer pulchritude, Nina Agdal, Samantha Hoopes and Hannah Jeter are at another level. But, you know, canteloupe, cant-AH-loupe.


Izzo Goes Off On Dakich

Loved this. Dan Dakich, who calls games on ESPN AND has his own radio show but refuses to be labeled as media (because he’d rather trash us and think of himself as a basketball coach—THEN GO COACH A TEAM, Dan), gets ripped by an actual successful basketball coach and a decent human being, Tom Izzo. It’s been a while in coming, someone needing to call Dakich a schmuck. I bet Norby will defend him, though.

Music 101

Precious & Few

They don’t write them like they used to….this is the band Climax from 1972, with their hit that rose to No. 3 on the Billboard charts and remained there for three weeks. Yes, the songs sounds a lot like something that The Association might have written. Lead singer Sonny Gerard died just 10 days ago.

Remote Patrol

Arsenal at Bayern Munich

2:30 p.m.

He now plays for Man U., but we just like saying,

He now plays for Man U., but we just like saying, “SCHWEINSTEIGER!”

Champions League Round of 16 play continues as Arsenal, last year’s Premier League runners-up (and 4th currently), visit four-time defending Bundesliga champion Bayern “SCHWEINSTEIGER!” Munich.

Also good tonight: No. 12 Duke at No. 14 Virginia (9 p.m., ESPN). Luke Kennard will be bald by age 24 but man is he a solid and overlooked player.

4 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. Umm… How to start? Just diving in.

    Yes, the Canadian Prime Minister schooled your President in the art of the hand shake. Here, in Canada we see it as maybe the greatest act of defiance ever by Canada. Except for maybe burning down the White House.

    Yes, he’s good looking. Ivanka can join Catherine Middleton on the long list of foreign dignitaries he has made swoon. I’m just going to leave the whole issue of objectification alone.

    Yes, Spicer just continues to create fodder for SNL. The Canadian Prime Minister is not named Joe.

    He is also not named Pierre.

    Please know how grateful we are for calling attention to the success of the Canadian Prime Minister’s visit to the U.S. Just a small thing… Well, unless you are Canadian… Not as bad as when you hung our flag upside down but definitely worse than the continued queries about our dwellings made of ice, the Canadian Prime Minister’s name is JUSTIN. JUSTIN TRUDEAU!! Pierre was his father. Pierre, while charming, was not swoon worthy.

    My entire nation is deeply confused at the state of things south of the border, most specifically that fact checking, let alone that facts are by definition true, seems to have disappeared from every U.S. medium…

    Justin. Justin Trudeau.

  2. Come on, Sweet Pea’s ‘between the opponent’s legs’ pass was AWESOME! It ALMOST made up for learning we lose Dr Love on VALENTINE’S DAY of all days to the dreaded ‘knee surgery & 6 week recovery’ jinx. So bummed. Kev had been playing All-Star great!

    Well, as I sign off today, here’s a little (modified) chant popular during my childhood days :

    “LBJ! LBJ! How many kids did you embarrass today!” 🙂 🙂

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