by John Walters
1. Hawaiian Punch
Earlier this month: President Trump takes an unprovoked shot at Hawaiian native Barack Obama. Yesterday: Hawaiian judge Derrick Watson issues a worldwide restraint on Trump’s travel ban. “Aloha” means “Try again, Donald.”
2. Ryan’s Hope
I love this story. Former Washington State QB/Guy-Drafted-Right-Behind-Peyton-Who-Was-A-Bust Ryan Leaf found humanity and redemption in prison by watching Ellen.(transcript of the interview in that link). I can see this. Ellen Degeneres is smart and funny and warm. Leaf was serving jail time for burglary and would watch her show on his 13-inch television in his cell.
You get TV access in jail in your cell? I’ll think twice about not committing that jewel heist next time.
3. Pi Goes To The Runner
Nerd alert at the March 14 Colorado Rockies game as the team figured out their own special salute to Pi Day. In case you want to check the Rockies’ math….
4. Tapp Out, Donald
Now the president tells Tucker Carlson of FOX News that “Wiretap covers a lot of different things.”
No, it doesn’t. It covers wiretapping, which your own dudes, Devin Nunes and Jeff Sessions, say there is no evidence of. What you did, Donny, is create “Fake News” with your tweet.
People wonder whether we should take Trump’s tweets literally or figuratively. I insist that you take them OPPOSITELY. Whenever Trump accuses someone of something, or makes a strong statement, it either means that he is the one DOING IT or the opposite of what he says is exactly what will happen. Stay tuned.
5. Indiana Busts Tom Crean’s Bracket
The minute the NCAA tournament’s FIRST round began (as opposed to the play-in games), Indiana fired famous Jim Harbaugh brother-in-law Tom Crean. We’ll have to wait and see whether Crean hopes everyone there dies. Washington also fired its coach, Lorenzo Romar, who had what many consider to be the best player in college hoops (Markelle Fultz) and failed to get to the Dance.
Related: Chino Hills High, which featured LiAngelo and LaMelo Ball, lost in the CIF southern sectional semis to Bishop Montgomery, a school that can now lay claim to being “Ball Busters.”
“Everybody’s got their own good reason/Why their favorite season is their favorite season…” This 1987 Echo and the Bunnymen song sounded like the ideal tune for the first day of March Madness, i.e. the de facto first day of spring….
CBS ALL DAY
Why are you still reading this?????