by John Walters

Designated Survivor: Everyone except Mike Zacher (“Vanderbilt”) and unofficial player and MH’s No. 1 Unknown Fan, Susie B., (“Md”) survives and advances. My pick for today: UCLA.

Starting Five

Not every moment shines

Fisher-Davis: Not every moment shines

Northwestern Wins Yada Yada Yada

The Wildcats never played an NCAA tournament game before yesterday and now have the all-time best winning percentage in tournament history (1-0, 100%) after defeating fellow Dean’s List school Vanderbilt, 68-66.

Thursday’s only memorable game saw the Commodores take a 66-65 lead with under :20 to play only to have guard Matthew Fisher-Davis grab and foul Northwestern’s best free throw shooter, Bryant McIntosh, who drained the winning foul shots. Fisher-Davis was Vandy’s leading scorer with 22 points, but that’s not what anyone will remember.

If Devin Cannady hits this shot in the final seconds, Notre Dame-Princeton becomes the only truly memorable March Madness moment of Day 1

If Devin Cannady hits this shot in the final seconds, Notre Dame-Princeton becomes the only truly memorable March Madness moment of Day 1

Other than that and Princeton missing a potential game-winning three against Notre Dame, Thursday was rather mundane. Fourteen of 16 higher seeded teams won, and the two “upsets,” Middle Tennessee State over No. 5 Minnesota, and Xavier over No. 6 Maryland, hardly seemed it.

There were no buzzer beaters. It should heat up today.

2. March Madness

The Sean Spicer Show was Extra Spicey on Thursday. You can pretty much skip ahead to the 10:00 mark.


 Meanwhile, House Intelligence Committee Chairman Devin Nunes, Senate Intelligence Committee Chairman Richard Burr, House Speaker Paul Ryan and Attorney General Jeff Sessions (all Republicans) have denied that at present there is any evidence to support Trump’s claim. His claim has been roundly debunked. Absolutely no bunk.

3.  Live To The Entire Country, It’s Saturday Night

Beginning April 15 and for its final four episodes of its 42nd season, Saturday Night Live will air live coast-to-coast. In other words, it will be impervious to Twitter. When Melissa McCarthy hosts on May 13 and revives her Sean Spicer impersonation, you’ll be seeing it live in New York at 11:30 p.m. and live in Gordo, Alabama, at 10:30 p.m. and live in Glendale, Montana, at 9:30 p.m., and live in Coos Bay, Oregon, at 8:30 p.m.

There’s one more SNL that will be done the usual way (April 8, with host Louis C.K.) and then the final four with hosts Jimmy Fallon (April 15), Chris Pine (May 6), McCarthy and The Rock (May 20) will be done live coast-to-coast.

4. What Part of volcaNO Don’t You Understand?

You say “volcanic eruption.” I prefer LAVALANCHE. 

A BBC crew and some tourists were a little too close to the mouth of Mount Etna’s volcano when it blew yesterday in Sicily. Nobody got injured but we did get to say, “Magma” as if we were Dr. Evil, so that was worth it.

p.s. I’ve know a few volcanic Sicilians who could really spout off in my life. This was nothing.

5. Fizz Ed

Pouring one out for Ed Whitlock, the Canadian distance runner who waited until his eighth decade to become a true marathon legend. Whitlock, who died last weekend at the age of 86, ran a sub-three hour marathon (2:54) when he was 73 and a sub-four hour marathon (3:15) in his eighties and those are world records for that age group, literally and figuratively by a mile. So, as Outside suggests, maybe those are the greatest running achievements of all time.

Whitlock was a serious running in college in England where he was born and raised, then moved to Canada and did not take up running again until his 40s. Just last October 16 he ran a 3:56 marathon at the age of 85. I plan on running a marathon later this year and, though 35 years younger, I’ve got fingers crossed that I’ll beat that time.

Farewell, Ed. You’ve finished the greatest race of them all.


American History 101


Anyone else notice how many prime ministers understand American far better than the current administration does?


Music 101


For St. Patrick’s Day, here’s the moment from the Dublin-based 2016 film Sing Street where you realize this movie is going to stick with you. I’m still annoyed that no tunes from this film—written and directed by John Carney, who also did Once—were nominated for Best Song at the Oscars. I can’t embed the scene in the film that corresponds to the song, but here is the link.

Remote Patrol

March Madness, Day 2


Best bets: Michigan-Oklahoma State (12:15, CBS), USC-SMU, (3:10, Tru), Rhode Island-Creighton (4:30 TBS) and Wichita State-Dayton (7:10 p.m., CBS)


The Quiet Man

9:30 p.m. TCM

Because John Wayne dragging Maureen O’Hara halfway across Inisfree is as much a St. Paddy’s Day tradition as are car bombs.

13 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

      • Jacob, my heart always goes with the bluebird of happiness on St. Patrick’s Day. I take a very analytical approach to my picks. 🙂

        • Vaunted Creighton alum (undergrad and dental school) Mike Zacher salutes you, but then again he DID pick Vanderbilt yesterday.

        • It sure beats out a Ram in my book. Which, by the way, got me thinking… What exactly is a Ram? Safe to say I know the definition of “uncastrated” now. Would have been a great Word of the Day. Anyhow, if SMU can win today, I may just follow your protocol for picking teams. First a Cardinal, then a Bluejay.

  1. Wait, I thought the contest was the 1st who picked their alma mater to be KNOCKED OUT, won! 🙂 Oh ok, sheeee-it. I didn’t have a lot of faith in this team but I thought they would at least get past the 1st game. Sigh. Of course, compared to my ANGER & DISGUST over the women Terps’ EGREGIOUS seeding in their tournament, my reaction is mild! The women are #4 in the AP Poll & #3 in the Coaches Poll, have won 30, count ’em THIRTY games (only lost 2), & were one of about 3 teams that played UCONN & were NOT blown off the court. So, what did this PATHETIC ‘Selection Committee” do? They seeded them 3RD in UCONN’s (#1 seed overall) bracket! Which means they’re seeded 12th overall! Unfrickinbelievable! There is NO excuse for this. Sure, the Big Ten may not be that strong this year, but COME ON! I honestly don’t know how Coach Brenda was not literally foaming at the mouth when she was interviewed live on ESPN that night. She was so classy about this blatant screwing (sorry jdubs), that I ALMOST felt bad about cursing out the Sel Com.

    Anyhoo, even though I can’t play along even unofficially, I will be ROOTING for Kent State because I want UCLA TO LOSE ASAP (sorry again, jdubs) so that disgusting “dad” can get OFF ESPN! My god, WHY do they keep talking about him? They even had him on at least one of the LA-based shows. I refuse to say his name. Steve Alford may take the Indiana job just to get away from HIM.

    Speaking of Alford, I remember his as a player because he was “cute” & had GREAT hair. 🙂 I also remember wondering how he could stand playing for Knight. I saw some of BK’s comments earlier this week & “good” to know there is SOME consistency in this deteriorating country – once a shit, always a shit.

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