by John Walters

Starting Five


Kelly Hero*

*That’s for all you fans of WWII films starring Clint Eastwood and Don Rickles

The Celtics move to 22-8 all-time in Game 7s, including 19-4 at home, as they beat the Wiz (I thought “Nobody beats The Wiz!”) 115-105. Seven-footer Kelly Olynyk came off the bench to score 26 points, including 12 during a key three-minute stretch in the fourth quarter.

Boston hosts the Cavs in Game 1 of the Eastern Conference finals tomorrow night. Lotsa luck.

2. Terry Time

Chelsea, which has already clinched the Premier League championship, defeats lowly Watford 4-3 to tie the BPL record for most wins in one season (29) with one game remaining, this weekend. 22-year veteran John Terry, who if the Blues are sort of the Yankees of English soccer would be a combo of Derek Jeter and A-Rod, gets his first start of the season and scores Chelsea’s first goal. But then he misplays a header that allows a Watford goal. He also dislikes my use of the present tense here. Anyway, Terry will likely retire after Sunday’s game versus Sunderland.

3. McMaster of None*

*a.k.a. Another Day of Trump

*a.k.a. “We Live In A World That Has Walls (Except on the Mexican border)

Another week, another admission from Trump that the truth that he had his White House minions deny the night before is the truth. This time it comes off the Washington Post story last night (Marty Baron is the Theo Epstein of newspapering) that alleged Trump shared highly classified information first given to us by an ally during his meeting with the Russians last week in the Oval Office.


The White House had H.R. McMaster & H.R. Pufnstuf issue a denial of a non-event (the dreaded “non-denial denial” from Watergate) outside the White House last night just minutes after the WaPo story broke. But now Trump is saying that what WaPo said is essentially true. Legally, POTUS does have the right to divulge anything he wants, including the nuclear codes, to the Russians. From an operational standpoint, though, he is endangering lives.

Anyway, now we know why laptops were banned on incoming flights to the U.S.A. ISIS always has to ruin everyone’s good time.

4. To Hill (And Not Back) 

*The judges will also accept, “Steep It Up”

Remember when Kate Bush recorded “Running Up That Hill?” (I do because I’m old). Well, the folks at Red Bull have now turned it into a series of races across the northern hemisphere (Asia, Europe, North America) called the Red Bull 400. Why is this ingenious? Because ski slopes are widely dormant during the summer time and now suddenly they have a function.

Sunday’s race, seen above, took place in Almaty, Kazakhstan. The full schedule is here. 

By the way, this is a subtle demonstration of Rule No. 1: Gravity always wins.

5. 2 Broke Girls Too Broke To Fix

After six seasons, CBS is finally putting the kibosh on Two Broke Girls. Or, as my friend Mark Bechtel called it, Two Broke Girls and A Pizza Place. This was basically Two’s Company (Kat Dennings as Janet, Beth Behrs as Chrissy) and my guess is as many men watched it with the sound off as on.

Music 101

Three Marlenas

Not unlike fellow mid-90s rockers The Gin Blossoms, The Wallflowers put out one fantastic album—and that was it. Lead singer Jakob Dylan had the right look, the right voice and certainly the right lineage, but he just didn’t have the gift for following up an auspicious debut breakthrough album. No shame in that. Most musicians never even get that far. This tune, the fourth single off Bringing Down The Horse, peaked at No. 41 in October of 1997.

Remote Patrol

Game 2: Spurs and Warriors

9 p.m. ESPN

Watch out, Zaza! Or, more likely, Steph. San Antonio will be without Kawhi Leonard tonight, and the Dubs are not Houston. This could get ugly in the direction of Golden State, but don’t be surprised if some Spur’s foot lands beneath a Warrior attempting a three.

One thought on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. Love me some Wallflowers. Can’t argue this assessment. They covered “I’m Looking Through You” from the Beatles and it’s outstanding, but yes, I’m reaching. “I turn the engine but the engine doesn’t turn.”

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