by John Walters


Starting Five

Precipitation Trophy

1492: The Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria.

2017: Irma, Katia and Jose.

It’s been 525 years since a trio of landscape changers this YUUUGE hit the Caribbean. Irma has maintained a wind intensity of above 180 m.p.h. longer than any Atlantic storm in history, and at this point you have to wonder if either (both) she or Giancarlo Stanton are juicing (the Marlins are scheduled to play in Atlanta this weekend, when the storm should strike south Florida).

Earlier this morning CBS showed am image in which the state of Texas was superimposed over Irma, and the hurricane’s diameter is about the same size. Whoa.

Barbuda, when it’s not hurricaning

One thing we’ve learned following Irma: there’s a Caribbean island named Barbuda. Does anyone ever go there?

2. Charles In Charge?

Just a couple of guys from Queens arguing over who makes the best pizza slice. The photo was shot by Getty Images staff photographer Alex Wong from the South Lawn of the White House using a long telephoto lens. That’s Senate MajorityLeader Chuck Schumer and 45 at the end of a meeting in which DT agreed to raise the debt ceiling for three months (I really don’t know what that means, but it sounds like we’re doubling down on owing China money?) to accommodate a Harvey relief package (more of those in the offing).

3. What Happens In Vegas No Longer Stays In Vegas

Seattle Seahawk defensive end Michael Bennett fired the first figurative shot, alleging in a Facebook post that he was handcuffed following a shooting incident in Vegas post-Mayweather-McGregor and that an officer threatened to “blow your f*cking head off” if he tried to escape. Hours later, LVPD asserted that they’d spotted Bennett crouching down, hiding behind a gaming machine, and that when they called out to him, he ran, which is why he detained them.

There may be as many as 126 videos from body and security cameras that recorded the incident. Chances are, and this is just an assumption, that Bennett was not entirely forthcoming in his initial post (never explained why he hid or ran) and that also that Vegas cop (who is Hispanic) did threaten him. We’ll see.

4. Cleveland Rocks (As Does Arizona)

Carrasco, right, pitched a complete-game three-hitter last night in Chicago

The Indians silenced the ChiSox last night, bringing their winning streak to 14 games. The Diamondbacks are keeping pace, winning their 13 straight . This is just plain nutty. Cleveland tied its franchise record for consecutive wins (a record it also tied last season) and it should be noted, so we will, that the last time any MLB team won more than 14 games in a row, Aaron Sorkin wrote a screenplay (Moneyball) about it. That was in 2002.

Most impressive? Cleveland’s last 10 wins have come away from Progressive Field. Tonight they end their 11-game road trip in Chicago.

Posed as a question, and the answer is “No.”

Just as, if not more nutty, is that the Los Angeles Dodgers were just swept in a 3-game series by the D-Backs for the second time in the past 10 days. L.A. has lost nine of 10 since appearing on the cover of Sports Illustrated a week and a half ago. The S.I. Jinx lives.

5. Shocked Jock

As hard as it may be to fathom that a New York City sports radio sidekick may not be a pillar of integrity, well, it’s true. Meet Craig Carton, 48, co-host of WFAN’s popular “Boomer (Esiason) and Carton” morning show. Carton earns $250,000 per year, but that wasn’t enough to sate someone of his, er, talent.

Carton gambled prolifically and lost even worse. He was apparently $3 million in the hole to various casinos and less reputable types when he and a friend launched a fraudulent ticket scalping business (they lured investors and treated it like a Ponzi scheme). The Feds arrested him at his home yesterday at 3:45 a.m.

That ain’t right, Dawg.


That’s Catalina Island! We’ve been there.

–This wonderful piece  by Mike Piellucci on about Equinameous St. Brown and his family, Orange County’s gridiron version of the Balls without all the nausea.

–This tremendous piece in USA Today that used golfer handicaps to show which 1%-ers belong to Trump golf clubs and how they pay memberships for access (we happen to know someone who dates one of them; she has more access to what is happening in the Trump White House than most NYT reporters)

(We have to admit, we feel a little like Richard Deitsch right now; by the way, we worked at SI in the ’90s when there was both a Richard Deitsch and a Richard Deutsch in the reporters bullpen; the latter, a great guy with an incredibly dry sense of humor, left and became a lawyer)

Randy Rainbow returns with “DACA-Shame”. Personally, we would have gone with a more contemporary song: “DACA-Con.”

Music 101

Livin’ On A Prayer


Say what you want about Jon Bon Jovi—say nothing if you want—but the Jersey rocker produced an outstanding debut album in 1986, with a pair of No. 1 hits. This was the second, after “You Give Love A Bad Name.” A third single, “Wanted Dead Or Alive,” reached No. 7. Bon Jovi never equaled this creative peak, but few artists have.

A Word, Please

obtuse (adj.)*

*”What did you call me?”

Annoyingly insensitive or slow to understand*

Not to be confused with abstruse (adj.), which means “difficult to understand or obscure,”so that one could find a way to say, “I’m not being obtuse, it’s just that the subject matter is abstruse.”


7 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. I’m guessing Twitter has already had fun with this but I just saw it (I’m busy!) – the University of Miami, er, HURRICANES football team has cancelled their Saturday game because of a HURRICANE (ironeee, ironeeeee), even though the game is OUT OF THE STATE & away from danger because the school is concerned the team won’t be able to come BACK to MIAMI afterwards, i.e. DURING Hurricane Irma? Hasn’t everyone else EVACUATED already? And won’t they STAY away till at least after Sunday? Where exactly is the Univ of Miami football team right now? In MIAMI???? Am I being, er, OBTUSE or is the reasoning behind Miami’s away-game cancelling just ABSTRUSE? That’s a two-fer, jdubs!

    Florida state theme song for the next several days- “LIVIN’ ON A PRAYER”? Funny, jdubs. 🙂

    I actually Laughed Out Loud when I saw your earlier tweet about the Carton ‘case’ – that defrauding a hedge fund is like pickpocketing a shoplifter. HAHAHAHA! 🙂 🙂 Still, if true, the guy is still a piece of sh*t! And I’ll give you a PERFECT example of why I have never been much of a Boomer fan (even though he is a fellow Terp) : he apparently has stated how much he loves his radio partner & his family & how he supports him & them thru this trying time (yeah, ok fine) but THEN he just has to go further & said “there’s NOTHING WORSE than having a family go through what they will have to go through now”. REALLY, Boomer? ASK THE FAMILIES IN HOUSTON! In the Caribbean! In Florida after this weekend! Don’t you need TIMING to be successful in radio? I guess not…. Plus, having a spouse &/or father who apparently has been a gambling ADDICT for who knows how long has probably not been a walk in the park either. Plus, the guy is on SPORTS radio? And he’s in major debt to gamblers? What about bookies? Gee, can’t imagine there’d been no, ahem, “incentives” for him to talk up or down a certain team or athlete to his listeners? If the allegations are true, he should be barred from radio & podcasts (don’t know how this can be achieved on the Wild West Web but it should still be done!) plus his ass should go to PRISON.

    And Ruth – I didn’t see your question about alleged hidden motors in pro cycling until last night. I shall return later to answer. 🙂

    • Susie B.,

      Were you banned from one too many blog comment sections as a child, therefore saving all your anger for this one?

      • I’m not angry as much as disgusted with pieces of shit who STEAL from others, although if the hedge fund “victims” are even more shitty than Carton (good chance probably), it does ALMOST make it seem a “victimless crime”. Still, it’s the principal! Humphf!

        • Ha ha..I’m just giving you a hard time. For what it is worth (22 years doesn’t seem THAT old), I’ve learned that a life lived mesmerized with the stupidity of others is a life lost. People say awful things. People DO awful things. But at the end of the day, if you let that seep into your blood, nothing is gained — much is lost.

          Now does that mean sit idle and let stupid things go on all around you? No, but there is a borderline for mental stability, and I believe 95% (I took this from FiveThirtyEight, so trust me…) of anger forces you to cross that barrier.

          Or you may be fascinated with large letters, so you PEACEFULLY TYPE IN ALL CAPS A LOT.

  2. Re the Indians and Dbacks — per Joe Sheehan, this is the first time since at least 1900 there have been two MLB teams with active win streaks of 13 games or more.

  3. AIR asked me what I think about the alleged hidden motors in pro-cycling, as alleged by some Hungarian guy on 60 Minutes, who SAYS he invented a miniature motor for bikes over 20 YEARS AGO & that someone paid him $2 million to not just sell to no one else but to stop work on it for 10 years. Ok , sure. Anyhoo, this guy also says he THINKS hidden motors are being illegally used in the Tour de France today (although he has no proof whatsoever & can not or will not name any specific rider or team).

    I’ve been hearing & reading rumors of hidden bike motors for about 9-10 years. Until about 4-5 years ago, I & all my cycling friends thought it was….FAKE NEWS. 😉 Really, we thought this was CRAZYTALK. And then, we started reading more & more & next thing you know, they started “testing” bikes at various races. It was a HUGE story in the 2015 & 2016 Tours but interestingly, this year, I did not read or hear a peep.

    So, it seems these things do exist but despite the suspicions, there have been no high-level pro MALE cyclist caught on such a bike. (A Euro female pro-cyclist was caught last year in a race & denied knowing anything about it. I was extremely skeptical of that excuse until I read a story this year that the 60 Minutes Hungarian guy says the motors now can be so small & activated via Bluetooth by someone in a car in the race so that the rider does NOT even know it’s there. However, I still think that woman knew exactly what she was doing & riding.)

    As a long time fan of the pro-cycling, I’ve learned the history & the current reality of this sport & do not put ANYTHING past almost any competitor & or team. If you’ve been keeping up with PEDs in sport the past few years, you’ll know this is true of almost ALL sports today. I am skeptical of some guy (that no one in cycling had heard of until a few years ago) announcing he’s this grand genius inventor & was paid to sit (literally) on his revolutionary technology for a decade. Could be true. But what’s his motivation for going public now? Lemme guess – he’s concerned about ‘clean sport’? HAHAHAHAHAHA. Yeah, like all the so-called “former” dopers who testify against former teammates? Puhleeze.

    The two things I really disliked in the 60 Minutes piece was when they mentioned a “Swiss winner” of one of cycling’s “classic” one-day races under being suspicion & the attempted link to Lance. The Swiss guy was Fabian Cancellara (nickname Spartacus) & I watched live online the race the TV piece referenced. During & immediately after the race, various cycling trolls began the rumors of the motor. Yeah, well, what explains all the OTHER times he dominated this race & many others? I did think it funny that Cancellara was not mentioned by name as he was a HUGE star in this sport until he finally retired last year. And the attempted tie-in to Lance was pathetic. The Hungarian guy says he “sold” his original motor in 1998 to an unspecified person or group. Lance was still recovering from cancer & it was not clear if he would even be able to return to the sport at the time so sincerely doubt this was him. His comeback team had LITTLE money at the time & to spend that kind of money on someone who up till then had not been a Grand Tour GC rider? Who had come close to dying from cancer a mere 2 years before? I don’t think so.

    Personally, any such use of what the sport is calling “mechanical doping” makes me enraged (ATTN : JACOB) & I would throw the culprit(s) out of the sport entirely. FOREVER. Which means the rider, the mechanics, the team race director , the team manager AND the team OWNER as they would all be complicit. But right now, no one seems to agree on the best (i.e. actually accurate) method of detection. At least that is not extremely costly or dangerous to those nearby (x-rays). So, until a big name or someone at the Tour is actually caught, this sport will continue to bumble their way through like they do everything in this sport. And fans will yell & curse & swear they are “DONE WITH THIS SPORT!” & then, July rolls around, they turn on the Tour de France & once again, are seduced. Cycling is a cruel sport, for competitors AND fans! 🙂

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