by John Walters

Starting Five

Yankees Win! The Yankees Win!!!

Top first, the Pinstripes already trail 3-0 and the Twins have runners on 2nd and 3rd with one out. Exit Luis Severino and enter a guy with the least Bronx of names, Chad Green. The reliever strikes out the next two batters and stems the bleeding.

Within four batters, the Yankees tie the game on a DiDi Gregarious bomb to the right-field bleachers. There’s still outs to go in the first and it’s only 3-3, but by that point you already felt as if the Yanks had won.

Green and three other Yankee relievers would strike out 13 Twins and scatter five hits and one run.

Aaron Judge later hit a two-run bomb as New York wins, 8-4.

2. Wipe Trash

This is either the president of the United States or the New York Knicks’ new shooting coach. We’re at the point now where The Worst Wing 30-for-30 is going to take 8 days of uninterrupted viewing to watch. I mean, are you like me? Are you watching this guy and thinking back to when Costanza was actively trying to get fired by the Yankees?

3. Lampin’ Larry

We haven’t had a chance to discuss the season premiere, after a six-year hiatus, of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Absolutely loved the opening shower scene (that is totally me) and the first scene quote: “I never try to offend people, but I always wind up offending people, which is ironic.” That’s pretty much the theme of the entire series.

Also love the usage of “foisted.” No one has more fun with words on TV than David. Not a classic episode; maybe we’ll give it one “pret-tee” good. And by the way, how long ago did Richard Lewis die? And we need us some Funkhouser.

Looking forward to “Fatwa,” the musical.

4. Jimmy Kimmel On Gun Control

Why does a comedian whose show airs at midnight have more incisive things to say about health care and guns than anyone in Washington, D.C.? And has he finally found his raison d’etre, outside of “Mean Tweets?”

Something else to consider…×0/cut.jpg

5. Colin Joust

You know the one person I am unable to find of late? Colin Kaepernick. The kneeling NFL players are everywhere, but no Kaep. Everyone has an opinion on the protest, but there are no fresh quotes from Kaep. He retweets people daily and often, but offers no original tweets himself.

I last saw Kaep in person working out at my gym last February, but then I stopped going there (I pronounced myself “suitably fit” for the rest of my life). Anyway, I wonder how many media outlets are reaching out to him for an interview—certainly many more than NFL teams reaching out to him to rescue their seasons. His QB rating in 2016 was 90.7, which would put him equal to Pittsburgh’s Ben Roethlisberger this season and higher than 18 other NFL starters. That’s pretty good, no?

When will we next see Kaepernick in public? On 60 Minutes? Hosting Saturday Night Live? On an NFL sideline? Or will he go full Dave Chappelle?

The Tennessee Titans just signed Brandon Weeden, who will turn 34 next week, as insurance. Like Kaep, Weeden has thrown 30 career interceptions. The difference is that Weeden has tossed 31 TD passes and Kaep 72.


Spencer Hall is quite hirsute



Music 101

If It Makes You Happy

If you didn’t have a monster crush on Sheryl Crow in the early Nineties, you were either gay, female, dead or Sheryl Crow. The first album was a surprise and this was the monster single from the follow-up. She never quite matched the mastery of her debut album, and then she hooked up with Lance Armstrong, but as this appearance below at the White House shows, the former backup singer for both Michael Jackson and Tom Petty was far, far more than a pretty face.

Remote Patrol

National League Wildcard Game

Rockies at Diamondbacks

TBS 8 p.m.

Kids, you do know that October is the best sports month of the season. Check out these two N.L. West squads who may have the two best sluggers/players that are not national household names: Nolan Arenado of Colorado and Paul Goldschmidt of the D-Backs.

One thought on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. Are you working for Newsweek again or was the Petty article just a one-off freelance piece? If the former, I guess I better stop my hexing & voodoo chanting. 🙂

    The Sociopath is such an ABOMINATION every single day that just trying to keep up with the daily national humiliations is like trying to keep back the sea with a cardboard box. Those truly responsible for this travesty, the American neo-Nazi party (AKA the GOP) will be eviscerated by history. I personally can’t wait for the day that every TRUMP sign from every apartment building, hotel, casino, dumpster, landfill is REMOVED for its “association to racism” & I (some say a “very fine person”) will attend as many as possible.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *