by John Walters

Starting Five

What The Folk!?!

(Former?) Tampa Bay Buccaneers kicker Nick Folk misses field goal tries from 56, 49 and 31 yards and the Bucs fall to the New England Patriots, 19-14. Granted, those first two efforts were not gimmes and on the game’s final play, Jameis Winston threw anywhere but near his wideouts from 19 yards out. Still, Folk should have connected on that 31-yarder.

Once a Jet, always a Jet.

2 Hip, Hip, Jose!

The home run king of the first day of the divisional series round was not 6’7″ Yankee Aaron Judge, who struck out four times, but rather 5’6″ Astro Jose Altuve, who hit three home runs in Houston’s 8-2 win against Boston. It’s rare that Dustin Pedroia isn’t the best short dude, albeit second baseman, on the diamond, but that was the case in Houston on Thursday.

3. “You’ll Find Out”

That’s what we’re afraid of, Donald.

During a photo op on Thursday night with military commanders and their spouses, which took place after a meeting with said commanders and before a dinner with the gang and their wives, Trump chirped, “”You guys know what this represents? Maybe it’s the calm before the storm.”

When asked repeatedly by reporters what that meant, Trump gave two vague answers about the having the greatest military, etc., and then finally teased, “You’ll find out.”

I guess we’ll have to tune in. Then again, do we really need another old, rich white real-estate guy mass-murdering people this week? At least he didn’t say, “The calm before the Desert Storm, III.”

4. Now What?

We’ve all been here. Life seems to be going fine and then suddenly our golden escalator, the one that whisks us off our private jet, malfunctions. Courage.

5. Hurricane Harvey

You’re telling me Harvey Weinstein is a pig? No, wait. You’re telling me you didn’t realize Harvey Weinstein is a pig? I thought this was Hollywood’s worst-kept secret.



Rabbit? RUN!

I think I’m in love with Alison Hammond. This is the best film-related interview to take place in London since that dude from Horse & Hound interviewed Julia Roberts.


Music 101

Just Like Heaven

This 1987 song by The Cure has been called the greatest pop song ever written by a few people whose opinions I greatly respect. It’s a wonderfully sad song. By the way, there was no more oft-played CD in my dorm in the mid-Eighties than The Cure’s Standing On a Beach: The Singles compilation (this song came later).

Remote Patrol

World Cup Qualifier

USA vs. Panama

ESPN2 7:35 p.m.

“Mammy, how I love ya! How I love ya!”

Jump back! What’s that sound? Here she comes, full blast and top down. The U.S.A. has two matches remaining in its World Cup qualifying (the last will be versus Trinidad & Tobago, which seems unfair that we have to take both of them on at the same time) and the only certain way of qualifying for 2018 in Russia is to win them both. It could still get in if it ends up with a draw this evening in Orlando, but that might entail a two-leg playoff versus Australia or Syria.

Imagine, needing to take down Syria to advance to Russia…

One thought on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. “By the way, there was no more oft-played CD in my dorm in the mid-Eighties than The Cure’s Standing On a Beach: The Singles compilation (this song came later).”

    Desmond would have given you a run for your money with REM. One other thought – were you subjected to the every-school-day morning blast from someone of “Dark Side” by John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band?

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