by John Walters

Starting Five

The veteran advises the rookie on the fine art of frustrating the lip readers

1. LeBronzo?*

*Geez, Louise, Susie B: Take the bait!

LeBron’s Cavaliers met Kyle Kuzma’s Brandon Ingram’s Lonzo’s Lakers last night. Cleveland won 121-112, as Kevin “Trade Block” Love led all scorers with 28 points. LeBron scored 25, Lonzo scored 13. More telling, both players led their respective teams in assists with 12 and 11, respectively.

Will they be teammates in some future scenario? Or does LeBron realize he’s got a much better chance making the Finals if he remains in Cleveland (or going to New York) and of winning the Finals if he joins Houston as resident elder statesman? Then again, he did just buy a second home in the Brentwood area.

2. Rule Number One…

…is, as you longtime readers know, “Gravity always wins.” So 26 year-old “rooftopper” Wu Yongning had been cheating the rules for some 300 stunts before it finally caught up to him last month. Attempting a stunt from a 62-story skyscraper in Changsha, the capital of the Hunan province, Wu wooed fate one time too many.

3. Who’s Harvey?

It seems obvious that Hollywood will be doing a film about Harvey Weinstein and his decades of bullying (and worse) of actresses. There’s a surfeit of women who can supply vignettes that will make for incredible and horrific scenes. But who’s going to produce it: Netflix? HBO? Miramax?

The next question is, Who will play Harvey? First, remember that there once was a Hollywood film of that name that starred Jimmy Stewart. But Stewart didn’t play Harvey; Harvey was an invisible, six-foot tall rabbit.

Is Stewart groping Harvey? Who can tell?

So he’s out. Who’s next? Our top pick would have been the deceased James Gandolfini. You need someone ursine who can be bright and charming but has an underside of rage that is just under the surface.

But we must move on. With the help of tweeps, here are our top five Harvey Weinstein casting hopefuls:

Ron Perlman: Has vast experience playing a beast.

Jon Favreau: Has the proper ursine look and if you saw Chef, you see he’s not always just a nice guy.

John Goodman: Bearish and can be brutish.

Kevin Spacey: The irony is too seductive.

Roseanne Barr: Yes!

Throw us some suggestions.

4. Buckle Up*

What’s going on here? You BETTER have that phone stowed away or it’s about to fly back and hit the person sitting in 36-E.


*How does this reflect on Rule No. 1, we wonder?

5. Luka Here!

This photo is going to need to be destroyed before Doncic arrives in the NBA

I don’t think he’s going to supplant Marvin Bagley III as the top overall pick in the 2018 NBA Draft, but 6’6″ Luka Doncic, a Slovenian who plays for Real Madrid, is beginning to generate attention. Doncic is fun to watch and these videos probably have a Pavlovian effect on Gregg Popovich, dontcha think?

Doncic is just 18 years old. Is 3-6-Slovenia a bad sobriquet?


Last night the Boston Globe dropped a story relating to ESPN and some of its female talent. Things to know if you haven’t read the piece:

Matthew Berry once took Jenn Sterger to a strip club after an employee outing when both were still interviewing for gigs. He landed a Fantasy gig, but she landed no gig.

Jade McCarthy was laid off last April while in the eighth month of pregnancy.

Sara Walsh, who was also laid off last April, did a show from Alabama while in the midst of suffering a miscarriage because she was so scared about taking maternity leave or losing her gig.

Lindsay Czarniak left after going on maternity leave and having her 6 p.m. SportsCenter seat yanked out from under her for The Six. LC was offered a settlement later.

Czarniak is a pro and one of the most down-to-earth on-air folks you’ll ever meet.

–Longtime anchor John Buccigross sent shirtless pics of himself via text to Adriana Lawrence, an on-air personality who is also a lawyer and was working there on a fellowship of sorts. Buccigross hash tagged #Longlegs and #Dollface until Lawrence finally replied, “You need to wear clothes, sir.” However, if you read these texts that ESPN released since the Globe story ran, it’s obvious that this was a consensual relationship for quite some time. The Globe may not have had access to all of these texts, but it sure looks as if Lawrence misled the writer.

–Sort of buried within but I found interesting: employees must disclose to the company if they are involved in personal relationships with one another. It is required. When do you do that? After the third date? The first time you meet someone’s parents? What if you’re involved with more than one person at the company? Uh oh!


If you haven’t seen this yet (“Deuces! Out!”), go to 7:27 of this CNN sisters-are-doing-it-for-themselves moment:

Meanwhile, a faithful reader noted our use of this photo yesterday and reminded us to check out where the president’s eyes were directed:

Larry David covered this phenomenon on the season finale of Curb, by the way.

Music 101

So Far Away

Long before they were named to be included in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame earlier this week, Dire Straits had more than enough street cred to resonate with anyone who’s ever picked up a guitar or attempted to write lyrics. Here’ Mark Knopffler and the band performing an acoustic/electric version of their 1985 hit in Sydney, at the peak of their worldwide popularity.

Remote Patrol

Spurs at Rockets

9:30 ESPN

The Rockets are 12-0 when Chris Paul plays

Houston has won 11 straight and is 22-4. The Spurs have Kawhi Leonard back. The warmup act—OKC at Philly—may be even more intriguing. That’s at 7 p.m.

2 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. I was only able to click & do a quick skim this AM! Plus, I’m still trying to DENY, DENY, DENY even the mere possibility of Sweet Pea going anywhere else & ESPECIALLY the hated Lakers! And while Lonzo may be a good kid, his father is on the Trump scale of abomination & I COULD NOT WATCH a team with him even remotely connected. Even WITH LeBron. Plus, I wouldn’t be able to see the TV screen anyway with all the copious tears blurring my vision!

    Of course, all the talking heads/media blowhards the past summer who “GUARANTEED” LeBron was going to the Lakers next summer are NOW changing their tunes. They are WORTHLESS! I’ve always thought it made NO sense for him to go to the West Coast & then have to get thru at least 3 good teams to get TO the Finals. However, if the Rockets actually ALMOST beat the Supervillains in the West Coast Finals next May, then LBJ might go there & create Superteam#2. I would not be thrilled but at least it’s not the Lakers or LA.

    Did you sell your RIOT yet or are you still counting the (not so bitty) coin? 🙂 Be careful as I’d hate to see you selling your kitty to make rent. 😉

    • Susie B,

      This is not a drive-by site. This is a “I’m Committed to More Than the Terrible Puns as Headlines” site. I thought you knew that by now. If you treat this as drive-by blob, I’m going to start posting daily pics of Candace Swanepoel. The choice is yours.

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