by John Walters

Starting Five

1. Lou-nacy

The most 1970s named player in the NBA, Lou Williams, torches Golden State for a career-high 50 points as the Clippers win 125-106 in Oakland. Williams, a 12-year pro who never attended college, scored 27 in the third quarter. He was 8 for 16 from beyond the arc as the Clips outscored the Dubs, who were without the world’s best backcourt, by 23 points in the second half.

Meanwhile, Durant Durant passed the 20,000 career-point mark (second-youngest after Sweet Pea) while putting down 40 himself.

2. Racial Slur-pee*

*The judges will not accept “ICE, ICE, Baby,” they just won’t

All of us at one time or another have visited a 7-11 to pick up ice. But who among us has had ICE pick us up at a 7-11?

Yesterday ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement) agents swept through some 100 7-11’s in 17 states telling owners to produce valid employment records for their employees showing either that they are citizens or have a valid green card. Does the Dollar Store sell Slim Jims, I wonder?

3. She’s The Yuan

Yesterday The New York Times introduced the most envied and itinerant print journalist in the world for 2018. Jada Yuan, a 39 year-old Chinese-American (checks box) female (checks box) from northern New Mexico who lives in Brooklyn (checks box) and has a B.A. in history from Yale (checks three boxes), won the gig. She’ll travel to all of the NYT’s “52 Places To Go” this year—as soon as she dumps her boyfriend. Or girlfriend. Whatever.

Us? Jealous? C’mon!

4. The Manchester Scene

Raheem Sterling leads Man City with 14 goals

Now that we’ve got Alabama-Georgia out of our systems, it’s time to turn our attention to another level of football: the English Premier League, where first-place Manchester City is undefeated after 22 games (20-0-2). The Sky Blues have a chance to become only the second EPL club to go undefeated through a 38-match season, as Arsenal did so in 2003-04.

The difference is that the Gunners finished 26-0-12, so nearly half their matches ended in draws. Man City is on pace to finish with quite a few more wins (three points) and fewer draws (one point), but there’s still a long way to go.

The Sky Blues have been dominant: they have the league’s top three assist men and its third- and fourth-leading scorers, none of whom overlap.

5. Collusion vs. Illusion

Remember a few weeks back when we noted that in Donald Trump’s impromptu interview with a NYT reporter he used the term “no collusion” 16 times in a span of about 10 minutes? Yesterday he answered ONE question in a White House presser and used the same term seven times.


It’s not a lie if you believe it, Jerry.


On Monday Viking tight end Kyle Rudolph paid for 250 pounds of ribs to be brought in to feed teammates and staffers at the team’s Edina complex. He also included a note of thanks to all the equipment staff and trainers. Total Domer.


Lights Out at the Tech Show

Black Lights Matter

Your first blast of non-Trump irony in 2018, as a blackout hits the massive Consumer Electronics Show (CES) in Las Vegas.

Music 101


The song had already been a hit for a few artists before siblings Karen and Richard Carpenter, a.k.a. The Carpenters, recorded their cover that shot to No. 2 in late summer of 1971 (Rod Stewart’s “Maggie May” kept it out of the top perch; those were the days, kids). Richard actually heard Bette Midler sing it on a late-night talk show and thought he and his sis could do it up even better. He was right.

Remote Patrol

Bringing Up Baby

6 p.m. TCM

Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn starred together in three comedies between 1938 and 1949—Holiday, The Philadelphia Story, and this, the screwballiest of them all. An heiress, a stolen dinosaur bone, and a house-trained leopard all figure into the plot.

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