by John Walters

Starting Five

1. meltDOWn

Simple terms: the Dow Jones Industrial Average had its greatest single-day point loss (1,175 points) in history (and it never punted once, but still lost!). However, because the Dow was already in record-high territory, it was less than a 5% drop and not among the bottom-20 worst days in Dow history.

There are a slew of pics on the web of traders rubbing their eyes yesterday

Why did it happen? Andrew Ross Sorkin of CNBC and The New York Times explains that it may be “too much of a good thing,” which is puzzling. Let him explain it to you.

So what do we do now, O Champion of NVDA and Bitcoin, you ask? In short, nothing. To heed the words of Warren Buffett, “Widespread fear is your best friend. Personal fear is your worst enemy.”

2. UnPresidented (Cont.)

One of the more surreal things about yesterday’s Dow drop was that it took place as Donald Trump was giving a campaign rally-type speech in Ohio touting the success of the economy. First, the cable nets were airing Trump’s stump, then it went to split screen and finally they focused solely on the stock market free fall and resuscitated market analysts from the previous century (Hello, Ron Insana!) to appear on camera and spew explanations.

All this as the cosmically unaware prez said, “You know, you can work hard, but if you don’t have the right leader setting the right tone, in all fairness — I’m not even saying. I am non-braggadocious.”

I’m fine with him bragging about his impact on the economy as the Dow plummets more than 1,000 points, but I truly hope he doesn’t boast on his impact on the domestic commercial flying safety record while I’m on a flight.

Irv! (he passed away in 2009, which explains his absence)

Personally, I was a little disappointed not to spot Irving R. Levine.

Meanwhile back at the rally, Trump escalated it to maleficent dictator mode, noting that many Democrats refused to stand and clap for him during last week’s SOTU and asking, “Can we call that treason? Why not? I mean, they certainly didn’t seem to love our country very much.”


 I mean, it hadn’t even been a week since the kumbaya SOTU, but that’s what happens when one week you’re reading a speech off a teleprompter someone else wrote and the next you’re working the MAGA shift.


Of course, as Jake Tapper explains above, treason has nothing to do with not liking the Commander in Chief, and certainly less to do with not clapping for him. Besides, Trump claps enough for himself to compensate for the failure of others to do so.

Also, Trump actually said this yesterday: ”

3. Hero Takes A Fall

The maiden issue

Yesterday Newsweek, a magazine that has been in circulation since February 17, 1933 (it stopped briefly in 2013, fired its top two editors and two reporters. The publication has been in the news frequently of late, mostly for scandalous reasons, and this cadre of journalists were investigating the magazine as they would any other story worth pursuing.

Someone at the top did not like that.

All we’ll say for now is, Can you imagine such a thing: an investigative team investigating a powerful institution, to which it is connected, and then the person at the top reacting to the investigation by dismissing anyone who approaches learning the facts? I mean, imagine that.

4. Robbed Gronkowski


Gronk thought he’d scored the game-winning touchdown Sunday night

Foxborough police report on Monday night that someone broke into All-Pro tight end Rob Gronkowski’s home and burgled multiple safes and guns. In the big picture, this isn’t the worst news we’ve heard coming out of a Patriot tight end’s home in the past decade, but it still must be upsetting for Gronk. If this were Fast Times at Ridgemont High, he’d be taking it out on whomever the Pats are playing next.

This needs to become a new cottage industry: house-sitting for superstar athletes when they are out of town. I’m up for this gig.

5. Messouri

This photo was shot by a drone. It’s a shot of a massive pileup on I-44 in Missouri yesterday, and what isn’t clear is whether the ball crossed the plane of the goal line before the runner’s forward progress was stopped.

Is it us or is that just a light dusting of snow? What the hell? Two people died in this crash.


Jimmy Fallon is an incredible performer, even if his conversational skills leave much room for improvement. Not only does he nail Dylan’s voice while playing the guitar here, but he’s almost certainly memorized the lyrics for this brilliant “The Times, They Are A Changin'” parody. And yes, he’s actually being political, which is also a departure for the Tonight Show host.

Everything about this video is fantastic, from the lyrics to the way they shoot Fallon walking on stage (I didn’t quite get the Mel Gibson reference, though; little help?).


RIP, John Mahoney. If Frasier’s not in your Top 10 sitcoms list, we shouldn’t be speaking…

Music 101

Mystery Of Love

This song by Michigan-born and raised musician Sufjan Stevens is our pick to win the Best Song Oscar next month. Stevens did a few songs for the film Call Me By Your Name, which very well could win Best Picture (the best song in this film, though, is an oldie: Love My Way by the Psychedelic Furs). Stevens’ tunes evoke a similar feeling to the Simon & Garfunkel songs in The Graduate. Worthy trivia: Armie Hammer is the great grandson of famed oil tycoon/philanthropist Armand Hammer.

Remote Patrol

Wizards at Sixers

8 p.m. TNT

If Philadelphia is still standing, this game will take place. Try the Beal!

11 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. Couldn’t tell if you realized Trump tweet was a fake. It got me yesterday. The screen shot shouldnt been a clue. Anyway, the guy who came up with is has a funny breakdown


  2. As a big city fella I guess you don’t DRIVE much in winter but that looks like ‘ICE, ICE, BABY’ to me & you can NOT drive in it. Does NOT matter whether you have a gdamn SUV or a monster truck (sorry, but I have a pet peeve against SUVs), you sliiiiiiide, sliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiddddddddeeee & take everyone else (unlucky enough to be near) with you.

    What is going on at Newsweek? Who are the current owners? Except when you worked there, I lost track once the Graham family (Washington Post) sold it off.

    About the market – based on the pre”game” coverage this morning on CNBC, I’m surprised we’re in the green right now. It was looking to be another sled-ride down the Hahnenkam & I was EXCITED! Well, at least I got more of my 2017 ROTH money invested yesterday. I laughed this morning listening to Squawk Box : “what caused this,etc,etc”. Heck, you know how athletes & entertainers are always thanking God at awards shows & big games? (Another one of my pet peeves, as IF God had time for that!). Well, MY theory is MY DAD was “helping me out” – he was tired of “hearing” me bellyache the last 3 months that I was tardy investing my ROTH money. Thanks, Dad! 🙂

    Another topic on SB this morning almost made me fall over in hysterical giggling – whether index or managed (“active”) funds do better in “volatile markets”. They had it COMPLETELY WRONG! I’ve charted my managed growth stock funds’ annual returns for over 20 years & here’s the FACTS – when the market plunges, most growth stock funds do WORSE than index funds but when the market soars, the growth funds outperform the index funds by 2-4 times. Book it.

  3. One more thing – I read an article yesterday about some folks in Kentucky “investing” money into Bitcoin (etc) because they think it will serve as their “pension”. OMG. OMG! 1st, the huge majority of these people know NOTHING about investing of any kind, let alone cryptocurrencies & blockchain technology & yet they are putting money into that CRAP (sorry, jdubs & Jacob, but this REALLY pisses me off) because they kept hearing about “all” the folks who made a ton of money last year, almost “overnight”. EVERY DAMN DAY on TV, there it was, on & on & on, just sucking the ignorant in. TULIPS ANYONE? TULIPS?!

    Jdubs, Jacob, & anyone else here who wants to put money into the above – if it’s just some “side money” (money you’d use for “fun” – poker, slots, drinking yourself into a stupor…), go ahead, but PLEASE do NOT your retirement money or other money you MUST have one day! If you get rich off your $1000 or whatever, you can brag the rest of your life. I’ll even call you “your highness”. Just please READ as much as you can on all of it & THEN only put in whatever you can AFFORD to lose.

    • Susie B.,

      You really need to stop watching television. You’ve created this perception that EVERYONE that invests in cryptocurrencies are looking to get rich quick. Are there individuals that invest simply because of that? Sure. That is why the price of Bitcoin ballooned to nearly 20,000 and sits just north of 7,000 (which, FYI, is still + 600% YTD). It is called a correction, not a crash.

      You read some stupid article about some stupid jokers in Kentucky. And now all of a sudden you think all millennials are investing 100% their savings into this stuff?

      “Just please READ as much as you can on all of it & THEN only put in whatever you can AFFORD to lose.”

      1) Do you READ as much as you can on this stuff? Or do you watch CNBC and expect them to be the voice of all?

      2) Each investment vehicle has a specified purpose. No one is saying cryptocurrencies have the same risk profile as government bonds. Life will bite you in the ass eventually. Yes, it is smart to be wise and “invest intelligently”. Markets will be markets. Many people lost the majority of their wealth in 2008, even though they were playing by the rules.

      Your viewpoint is so pessimistic at this point, I really don’t know what else to tell you. I have a little brother that is 18. He never followed the stock market or even gave it a thought. He asked me the other day for good resources so he could learn more, because we talked about cryptocurrencies over the holidays. Have you ever thought about how many individuals have been INTRODUCED to investing because of cryptocurrencies?

      • Jacob – what I wrote about on Bitcoin above was from an article (I specified), not from CNBC. My POINT is that hundreds/thousands of gullible, ignorant folks were/are being sucked into something they DO NOT UNDERSTAND. If they “invested” in Nov-Dec (most likely), they are down HUGE. As in 2008 stock market crash-equivalent. And these folks most likely cannot afford to lose anything. It pains me to see people VICTIMIZED in this way.

        As for the people who “lost the majority of their wealth in 2008” – this only happened if they were unfortunate enough to lose their jobs OR stupidly bought way too much house with a “no money down” ARM & then couldn’t refinance when their loan was underwater. Or they ignorantly sold their investments at the bottom & never bought back in. The so-called “rules” WORKED : buy low, sell high & when the masses are panic-selling, THAT’S the time to buy. (Of course, individual companies do go bankrupt & that’s why investing in stocks is a lot riskier than mutual/index funds but according to the stats, most Americans do NOT invest in individual stocks).

        How old are you, Jacob? Early-mid 20s? I’ve gone thru the 1987 one-day crash, the 3 year dot-c0m/tech hell of 2001-2003, the Apocalypse of 2008 & the disembowelment of the energy sector in 2015-now. Five of my stock investments went bankrupt in the last 3 years & I lost 90-100% (granted, 3 were spin-offs, but I still owned them). Oh, & back in the mid-80s, my Savings & Loan went under, but it was “insured” by the state of MD, so EVENTUALLY I did get all my (non-interest) money back (over 4 years). MILLIONS of folks bought CDs from Savings & Loans back in the 80s that were not insured by FDIC or their states & they LOST EVERYTHING. Why did they do this? To get an extra 1-3 % & because they did not know what they were doing was RISKY. The people in this country are taught SQUAT about money &/or investing in school & that’s why so many are VULNERABLE to the “next big thing”. Don’t read my comments anymore because if it’s the last thing I do, it will be to try & EDUCATE PEOPLE ABOUT MONEY & RISK.

        BTW, I never once mentioned MILLENIALS.

        • Susie B.,

          Let’s clear this up then. Are you referencing this article from the Washington Post?

          The quote that they used in the headline, “Bitcoin is my potential pension”, was used by a singular individual, not multiple, as you alluded to by stating, “they think it will serve as their ‘pension’.” The guy that made the quote has an annual wage of $90,000, but was greedy. You know how many people lose money everyday over the stock market, because of greed and ignorance?

          The story isn’t really even a story. They knew the risks involved. And even then, did anyone actually LOSE money?

          No one is being victimized. Cryptocurrencies are risky. If you go see a financial advisor, they won’t tell you otherwise. Your timeframe for this is way, way too short. “If they ‘invested’ in Nov-Dec (most likely), they are down HUGE.” Yeah, and if I invested into the stock market last week, I’d be down now?

          I’m 23. And my thoughts are only my opinions. I’m aware of my ignorance and know what I don’t know. I don’t understand why you take your frustration out on the assets, but not the messengers. Tech became what it is today precisely because the system had to purge the nonsense of the early 2000s. In MY opinion, that is what is happening now. Everyone’s entry point is different, and that is (unfortunately) what dictates an individual’s viewpoint.

          I agree with you that more people should be educated in financial management. But you might as well pick apart ever other asset class while you are at it.

          I’ve never been in debt, nor have I owned a credit card. While in college, my bank persistently told me that I should open a student credit card. Why? Because it would help with a down payment on a home or car after school, they would tell me. That teaches people (arguably the most vulnerable) that it is alright to borrow money, as long as you pay it back. Once you play with fire, you are bound to get burnt.

          I’m an advocate of educating everyone on proper financial management skills. At the end of the day, however, risk is risk. If I lost every single penny I had to my name today, I really wouldn’t have anything to be upset about. If someone is in their 50s, their situation is different. Therefore, your investments will be different.

          I buy cryptocurrencies with a long-term perspective. At the end of the day, they will work or they won’t. If they work, today’s bickering over the price will look very irrelevant (and that is a huge understatement). If they don’t work, the prices go to $0. So what? The sun will still rise in the morning.

  4. Look at the silver lining. The Dow Jones Industrial Average has spiked comments on MH today!

    One more thing: I’m going to go out on a very lonely limb and admit that my discerning girlfriends and I enjoyed JT’s half time show. I don’t believe every song has to beat a socially relevant drum. When I’m grinding through the work day, I prefer a little sunshine in my (camo suit) pocket designed by Stella McCartney.

    Let it be.

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