by John Walters


“To every politician who is taking money from the NRA, shame on you.”

Starting Five

No Guns, No Gory

In his latest comedy special, “Tamborine,” Chris Rock espouses gun control by noting that rarely does one come across a wholesale knife massacre. “If someone stabbed 100 people to death in one incident, what you’d have is three victims and 97 people who deserved to die.

Rock makes an excellent point. Gun control won’t eliminate murder or even the occasional mass murder in our society, but then drug laws don’t eliminate drugs, either. The entire point is to make them less accessible.

The father who took the killer in says he knew he had “five or six guns” and that he was “depressed,” and knew he owned an “AR-15” rifle but that looking back on it all, he still feels the same about the killer’s right to own all those guns. The father made the killer put the guns in “a gun safe” but was too stupid to realize the killer had a second key.

America won’t change until Americans respect lives more than guns. Alas, not enough Americans do. We’ll never ever understand that.

Here is a list of Senators (all Republican) who receive more than $1 million from the NRA. Let’s vote them out.

2. Epidermis Universe Pageant

No one at the ice rinks shows off more skin than Canadian ice dancer Tessa Virtue, who doesn’t believe that modesty is a….Virtue and her partner, Scott Moir, won gold last night to add to their gold from Vancouver and silver in Sochi. They also performed a few moves that may have violated a few blue laws in certain provinces. They also posted a world-record score of 206.07, for those of you who keep track of ice dancing records.

3. Fox Faux Pax

500 miles at Daytona was not enough. An overtime lap was needed after a crash with less than 10 laps to go, but then Fox blew it. Four or more hours into the race, the pivotal moment came when Austin Dillon pulled a Dale Earnhardt, Sr., move (Dillon was riding the No. 3 car after all) and tapped the rear bumper of the race leader, Eric Almirola.

Alas, as the video above shows, Fox had decided to go with a rearview camera from Almirola’s vehicle (:50), which robbed viewers of a wider angle view of the skulduggery taking place. The critical moment of a 201-lap race, and Fox failed to capture it live. Even on the replay video below, they don’t show a wide shot. Weird.

Is this what Rudy Martzke would refer to as a “dreaded glitch?”

You have to listen to the flawed logic Kevin Harvick and the other dude in the middle provide here (it’ll help you understand why we still have bump stocks legalized). Harvick basically defends Dillon banging Almirola’s back bumper via the “Because it’s Daytona and you do whatever it takes” while the other guy (sorry I don’t recognize him) says that if Denny Hamlin or Kyle Busch had done it it would have been “dirty pool,” but a guy driving the same-numbered car as The Intimidator once drove, it’s okay.

4. Oliver!

After a few months hiatus, John Oliver returned Sunday night on HBO and, granted, he doesn’t have to put out a show on a nightly basis, but once again the Brit expat demonstrated why he does the smartest Trump commentary on TV. You may watch here.

Oliver: “Is anything about Trump funny any more?” Less and less every day.

5. Fifth Century, Yeah!

Attila We Meet Again

We had this thought last night. How many historical figures can you name between the death of Jesus ( 33 A.D.) and, say, the Battle of Hastings (1066 A.D.)? Charlemagne, Hannibal, a few Roman emperors, a pope or two. Who else?

Well, we don’t know, either, but as MH eternally seeks to enlighten, we thought we’d introduce a segment in which we provide five figures of importance from each century anno domini. Let’s begin with five fifth century (401-500) figures:

—1. St. Augustine, Bishop of Hippo: Wrote City of God.

—2. Attila the Hun: Feared leader of the Huns for two decades who was unsuccessful in sacking Constantinople and Rome. Not a good sacker. Had no swim move.

—3. King Arthur: Though his existence is disputed, British legend has it that he defeated the invading Saxons in approximately 490 A.D.

—4. St. Patrick: Yes, the Irish missionary who gave us a beer holiday.

—5. Romulus Augustus: The last Roman emperor, as Rome fell in 476. This marks the beginning of the Middle Ages.

Music 101

Games People Play


Mid-Seventies Philly soul. Nothing quite as smooth. This 1975 tune from The Spinners went to No. 5 on the Billboard charts.

Remote Patrol


8 p.m. NBC

The women’s downhill, but Mikaela Shiffrin has pulled out. Shiffrin will concentrate on the Super Combined, which was moved up a day due to weather. Weather has totally screwed with Mikaela’s quest to be queen of PyeongChang, but she still has one gold thus far (it’s a slippery slope between ski queen and Olympic letdown). Also, we still get Lindsey Vonn.

All The President’s Men

12:15 a.m. TCM

For the night owls. Now more than ever…

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