by John Walters

Tweet du Jour



Starting Five

The fixer appears to be broken

Cohen Feds

“Says who?”

“This warrant.”

“Says who?”

 “This warrant—I answered your question—from the U.S. Attorney’s office, Southern District.”

Trump lawyer/fixer Michael Clayton Cohen, whom we first met nearly two years ago versus this classic exchange…

…is now in some serious scalding liquid. Last Thursday aboard Air Force One his boss, Donald Trump, told reporters, “You’ll have to ask Michael Cohen.” And the Special Prosecutor, Robert Mueller, thought, Great suggestion but we’ll do you one better: we’ll seize his documents and emails going back years, and so the FBI raided Cohen’s office and hotel quarters.

Trump, predictably, is furious, calling the raids a “disgrace” and that “it’s an attack on our country…an attack on what we all stand for.” Weeeeelllllllllll, I don’t know about that, Donald. It may be an attack on your Corleone-like empire, but we’ll see if the Feds do better this time around than they did in The Godfather Part 2.

Trump Tower: Where there’s smoke, there’s “You’re Fired!”

We suspect Trump is not much of a chess player, but Mueller just put him in check and also cut off Trump’s most obvious escape move. He’s going to have to sacrifice more than a pawn this time to stay alive. Does Trump “fire” Mueller, or more pertinent, does he fire Rod Rosenstein for not firing Mueller? If one or both go, do we go full-scale authoritarian dictatorship with Trump donning the Qaddhafi-style military uniform, or do we just let Putin run the country from afar (as if he hasn’t been for months now)?

It may be time to go back and re-watch Michael Clayton. In that film the fixer belatedly discovers his integrity.

How close are we to the entire government being run by Long Island goombahs who all were raised within 20 minutes of the Roosevelt Field Mall? Will Sean Hannity ever appear on “Mean Tweets”? How’s the cyber-bullying campaign going? And does the Trump Hotel employee handbook actually include a directive to supervisors that they not hire their own relatives? Ba ha ha ha ha ha.

2. Chicago: Opening Day

The Chicago Cubs played their first nine game away from home, which sounded like a good idea because you want to avoid that capricious and often cruel early April weather. But if you know Chicago, you know that Mother Nature is going to take her shots and you can’t do anything about it. Yesterday’s Wrigley Field opener against the Pittsburgh Pirates was snowed out.

The White Sox, who already had played three games at home, weren’t afraid of a little white substance and played on, losing to the Tampa Bay Raymonds at U.S. Cellular Field. The Sawx have won as many home games (zero, in four tries) as the Cubs to this point in the season.

3. Patriots Daze

Flanagan broke the tape in Central Park last November

In 1983, American-born runners won both the male and female divisions of the Boston Marathon. That hasn’t happened in either division since.

For the first time in 35 years, there is both a male and female American running in Monday’s Boston Marathon who should draw your interest. On the distaff side, reigning NYC Marathon champ Shalane Flanagan, a Massachusetts native, will seek to cap off a brilliant career with a victory. Flanagan, 36, earned a silver medal in the 10,000 meters in the Beijing Olympics and is immensely popular with both fans and her peers.

Then on the men’s side there’s Galen Rupp, arguably the greatest native-born American distance runner ever. A bronze medalist in the 2016 Olympic marathon, Rupp finished second in Boston last April. And he won the Chicago Marathon last October. But accusations of blood doping and other shenanigans via his coach Alberto Salazar (the 1982 Boston Marathon champ) and the Nike Oregon Project, have dogged him for a few years now. Here’s what a high-level running coach, who wished to remain anonymous, told about Rupp a couple days ago:

Salazar (left) and Rupp have found glory together while alienating many other Americans in the running community

“Honestly, I couldn’t give a shit. The approach and all of the nonsense that the Nike Oregon Project has been up to, it just leaves such a bad taste in my mouth that I couldn’t care less. … No, I’m not [rooting for Galen Rupp]. I’m rooting for anybody but [him], to be honest. Listen, I respect Galen. He’s got a lot of courage, he races with a lot of courage. And I respect that they’re willing to push to the limits of every single thing you do in life to get there. [But] number one, that’s never been my approach. And number two, from what I’ve read to this point, facts that I’ve read to this point, I don’t believe they’re doing it on the right side of the line.”

4. Low Post

This is the Denver Post. That is not Coors Field, where the Colorade Rockies play, but in fact Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia. Swing and a miss. This is what happens when a private equity firm purchases a newspaper and immediately guts its staff. The Denver Post, though profitable, is owned by Alden Global Capital, whose president, Heath Freeman, appears determined to undermine its mission: to keep its readers informed.

How bad is it? Someone wrote a scathing editorial on Freeman that appeared in…The Denver Post.

5. Silo, Uh-Oh!

Vordingborg, Denmark. Silo implosion. Physics is hard.


A Closer Look At Seth Meyers’ Wife Giving Birth In Their Lobby

So this happened.

Did they name the boy Doorman?

Music 101 

When I Fall In Love

I mean, Nat King Cole. Has there ever been a better voice than his? Born in Montgomery, Ala., in 1919. He was not the first to record this tune, written in 1952, just the best (his version came out in 1956). Decades later Rick Astley covered this song because he has no shame.

Remote Patrol

Point Break

11 p.m. AMC

Keanu Reeves, Patrick Swayze, John C. McGinley, Gary Busey, Lori Petty and even Anthony Kiedis. Nobody puts Bodhi in a corner.


Zuckerberg Testifies

2:15 p.m. Cable News Networks

Al altogether different kind of Facebook Live event…

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