by John Walters

Starting Five

1. Who Shot? Not J.R.

You know what happened. LeBron James scored 51 points and was nothing short of heroic, but J.R. Smith put down Cleveland’s shot at winning in regulation with friendly fire and launched a thousand memes. Our favorite is below.

2. Ms. Bee Havior*

*The judges will also accept “C-U—later”

No matter how complicit you believe Ivanka Trump (look who she’s married to and look who she works for; you’re not buying that innocent beauty act, we hope), there’s really no excuse for what Samantha Bee called her on national television. Regardless of whether Ivanka’s tweet was simply tone-deaf or a troll trot, you forfeit the high ground when you call someone a “feckless ____” and it’s not a Guy Ritchie film. Or Sexy Beast.

And when the libs come back with “He father is a ‘pu**y grabber,'” well, yeah, that’s offensive. So don’t stoop to that level yourselves. Besides, it ignores the issue that as many as 4,400 Puerto Ricans died due to that hurricane last September. What? That’s not the issue we’re all in a fuss about? Oh, okay. Never mind.

And there’s a greater lesson here for all of us, illustrated by the moments created both by Ms. Bee and Mr. Smith, above, this week. And that is this: like it or not, your most defining moment may wind up being your worst moment. So do your best to avoid those. Or, be like the president and have so many worst moments that no one can keep track of them any more.

3. Separation Anxiety

Let’s attack the issue of illegal immigration (not, as MSNBC refers to it, “immigration”) objectively. Let’s not call people “dreamers” but illegal immigrants. So this is kind of a flow charts.

1) You first admit that, no matter how much empathy you have for them, people are crossing the U.S.-Mexico border illegally. You either say A) I understand the law must be obeyed or B) Who cares? Let ’em.

2) If you answer “B,”are you fine with those people being given government aid? Last year, according to the Federation for American Immigration Reform (FAIR), illegal immigrants cost he U.S.A. approximately $115 billion, or $8,000 per illegal immigrant.

3) If you answered “A,” how would you effectively carry out that law? By stopping and/or catching people who cross, throwing them back across the border, and simply waiting until they try again (“Catch and release”)? Would you support a wall? Do you have a plan?

Personally, and I’m not a parent, obviously, but it feels as if some very shrewd and Machiavellian government official (I know, I’m giving them far too much credit) thought of the brilliant plan of scaring away potential illegal immigrants by letting it be known that those who attempt crossing would never see their children again. Draconian? Cruel? You bet. Cheaper than a wall? Much.

The bottom line: There’s no easy solution and while we have no problem with someone revisiting the law on immigration and allowing more Central Americans in (I’ll personally vouch for their work ethic), it is true that there are thousands of officers whose job it is to protect the border. If you’re going to have a law, enforce it. The MSNBC’ers who deplore Trump acting above the law while also ignoring the reality of illegal immigration are simply hypocrites. And they never discuss the cost to taxpayers. Why is that?

4. May The Bee Force With You

The Metroplex is to the Scripps National Spelling Bee what the SEC is to the College Football Playoff. So when Karthik Nemmani, 14, of McKinney, Texas, lost his regional spelling bee to 12 year-old Naysa Modi of Frisco, Texas, he was able to advance to the national bee via wildcard (think of him as 2017 Alabama).

Yesterday in D.C. Nemonic won the non-Samantha bee by spelling a word we’ve never heard of. He’s the 19th Indian-American to win the Scripps bee in the past 23 years. Someone should look into why that is happening, although by the inordinately high number of Indian-American doctors in our health care system, we think we know the answer (parents who stress education).

5. Honey, I Shrunk The Tweets

The latest twist in the Bryan Colangelo saga is that his Italian-born wife, Barbara Bottini, may have been behind the Twitter burner accounts. Either way, this appears to be Colangelo’s final day in the Sixers organization (yes, the 76ers will 86 him, we surmise) although we’d imagine Bryan’s dad has placed a phone call or two to Commissioner Silver’s office in the past few days arguing for clemency.


Music 101

Just Remember I Love You

What if America and Christopher Cross had a love child and Little River Band adopted it? Meet Firefall, who scored a No. 11 hit in 1977 with this soft-rock lullaby. The band was formed three years earlier in Boulder by Rick Roberts, a former member of the Flying Burrito Brothers. Backing vocals here by Timothy B. Schmitt of the Eagles. Notice how Men At Work would later crib that ending sax solo for its song “Overkill” as would Quarterflash for “Harden My Heart.” Or maybe we just don’t know anything about the saxophone and that’s a very common chord structure or whatever you call it.

p.s. We’re not hating on this song. It’s a soft-rock classic. No one writes tunes like this any more and we know we sound like a YouTube commenter, but it’s true.

Remote Patrol


Strangers On A Train

10 p.m. TCM

We can tell you that rail service on New Jersey Transit has fallen somewhat below this level in the past 60 years

A somewhat lesser known Hitchcock classic. Is the perfect murder possible?

6 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. Next on The Big Lead: Why one game doesn’t change the fact Durant is still better than LeBron.

    I’m still perplexed by what transpired in the final 30 + seconds of that game last night. I’m no rules expert, but how can it possibly be allowed to have a call on the court (charge) overturned after reviewing the monitors?

    LJ is on a different level right now. Happy to be alive to witness it.

  2. There is a rule on the books since 2013 that in the last two minutes the officials can check if a player was in the restricted area when taking a charge. What is crazy is that if they go to the monitors they can then check if the defensive player was moving. It looks like this rule has been implemented one time the ENTIRE season.

  3. Well, good to see you guys are so calm ’cause I’m WRECKED! I barely slept, just kept rehashing the UNFREAKINBELIEVABLE train of events. And my sad whistle of “noooooooo, NOOOOOOO, George! JR! TT! The gdamn refs (TRIPLE NO, can we lobby for a replacement crew?!) could be heard in the late night/early morning air around my abode. I know JR is still being roasted over his brain-fart but my goodness, there was a lot of other CRAP that happened too at the end of what was almost a FAIRY TALE NIGHT until the last minute of reg. Of course, what happens in some fairy tales? The wolf eats grandma! 🙁

    1st of all, really, REALLY – that was a CHARGE! And LBJ was 2 FEET from the restricted area! I thought the rule says they’re only supposed to doublecheck if they thought the defender was in the restricted area or not & THEN maybe review. How could they not see LBJ was not in there? Why don’t they just give those refs a Warriors jersey. Talk about your “6th man”! More like “6th Men in Stripes”. Humpfh! And it wasn’t just this game-changing travesty! Oh noooooooo. Earlier, they gave George a foul on KD when it was a clean ball strip! And EJECTING Tristan over THAT? Sure, it was a foul, but to EJECT HIM? And hell, TAUNTER EXTRAORDINAIRE Draymond should have been tossed immediately! Heck, I saw guys tossed this season for “taunting” for a head nod & this guy was yapping & waving in TT’s face!

    Still, Tristan should have held himself together – we can’t afford to have him suspended! And George… George! You’re a 80% FT shooter, it was your chance to shine in your 1st & maybe only Finals, HOW did you miss that 2nd FT?! Argh. And can SOMEone tell me why Jordan Clarkson played so many minutes? He made bad shot after bad shot!

    Oh, oh, & Draymond INTENTIONALLY hit LeBron James (AKA a ‘National Treasure’, AKA ‘Rocky 8’, AKA ‘Secretariat at Belmont’) in the face! I can’t tell if he meant to poke Sweet Pea in the eye exactly, but THAT was a “Flagrant 2” either way!

    And poor LeBron at the post-game presser.. I teared up! I’ve watched those things for 7 straight years now & I don’t think I’ve EVER seen LeBron so pissed/frustrated/flattened. And with a blood red eye!

    HOW do they get over this? Only one way – they have to put all the bad stuff from that game in a box & light it on fire. Poof! It’s GONE! And they MUST think about all the GREAT stuff in that game & move on. And there was a LOT of great stuff! For pete’s sake, the Cavs go into the Villains’ Lair & they OUTPLAY the supposedly invincible Villains! On their home floor, surrounded by screaming banshees! NO ONE thought the Cavs had a chance. Coming into this Finals, the Cavs were basically looked upon as roadkill in uniforms. Well, they showed EVERYBODY! (Um, including moi). They had it, they HAD that game, in the palm of their hands, soooo close to slippin’ it into their pockets, out the door & onto the bus. 🙁

    And of course, let’s not forget LeBron scored 51, with 8 rebounds & 8 assists. He was beyond magnificent, he was TRANSCENDENT! I get verklempt just thinking back. And hey, I think I hear Franki Vali –

    “You’re just too good to be true
    Can’t take our eyes off of you
    You are like heaven to watch
    We just wanna cheer you so much
    At long last NBA-LUV has arrived
    And we thank God we’re alive
    You’re just too good to be true


    • Susie – the refs have sucked the entire playoffs. Each night, no one knows what’s a foul and what’s not a foul.

      regarding a couple of your items.
      1. the charge/block call should have been a no call after the review. At one point they finally showed the angle of the other referee and he had signaled that it was a block meanwhile the ref closest called a charge. I think with a play that big you use common sense, call no call and do a jump ball.
      2. Tristan’s shouldn’t have been a flagrant 2 after review but I think in real time the ref sees that elbow fly up and feels TT’s intent was to injure. TT doesn’t help himself after the game saying he was pissed that Shaun took the shot.
      3. Yep, Dray’s an instigator and that’s why he’s loved when he’s on your team and hated when he’s not.
      4. Tell SweetPea if he can get America to buy in to wearing a sport jacket with shorts, I am all in,

  4. One more thing – a LOT of people actually complained about Cavs-Warriors IV this week, said it would be “boring”! WTF?! 1st of all, it is NEVER boring to watch magnificence (i.e. LeBron James). And 2nd, this series is ALREADY much, MUCH better than last year’s even though Game 1 ended in tears for Cavs fans!

    And FTR, I am MUCH angrier at Kyrie ‘Flat Earth’ Irving than Swish! And if LBJ leaves the Cavs this summer, it’s Kyrie’s fault! In fact, if we can get Mueller to “look into it”, it’s probably Kyrie’s fault we have a Sociopath in the WH & that the polar ice carps are melting. 😉

    • Er, “caps”.

      Speaking of “Caps”, I shall watch tomorrow night’s game! Still don’t understand “icing” but I’ll live with it. 🙂

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