by John Walters

Tweet du Jour

Starting Five

Mission Kim Possible

The question is, Why did Kim Jong Un consent to meeting with Donald Trump and my best answer is that he just wanted to meet a bonafide, cartoon-character TV star from the United States. Same reason he’s friends with Dennis Rodman.

Would Kim ever give up his nukes? Nooooooooooooooo. Would we be doing this dance with NoKo if we believed he had no intention of giving up his nukes? Nooooooooooooo. This is like a blind date in which she thinks he’s rich and he thinks she’s easy and they’re both about to be very disappointed.

But I could be wrong….

One last thing: When Fox News “slipped” and referred to both men as “the two dictators,” they sort of got it right. And this may be another reason Kim met Trump. The world’s strongmen (Kim, Putin, Xi) recognize the breed and may see this as an opportunity to undermine the U.S. It’s like, We’re no longer dealing with the U.S.A., we’re dealing with a wannabe tyrant who just happens to have the keys to the car. Maybe we can appeal to his ego and help damage their democracy in the process.

For the record, Trump agreed to give up military exercises with South Korea in the region and remove U.S. troops while Kim agreed to give up smoking next month. Or something like that.

2. Shohei, Can UCL?

How do you pronounce “Tommy John Surgery” in Japanese? California Angels (shaddup!) pitcher/designated hitter/rookie phenom Shohei Ohtani already may need TJS and it’s not even Flag Day yet. Wow.

Ohtani is 23. Stephen Strasburg. Matt Harvey. Ohtani. Why does baseball keep eating its young?

Ohtani, who has a Grade 2 sprain of his ulnar collateral ligament, may not return until 2020 (How do we get Trump to sprain his UCL?). He leaves with a .289 batting average and a 3.10 ERA (4-1 record).

3. Bode’s Grief

This is shattering. The 19 month-old daughter of retired U.S. skier Bode Miller and his wife, Morgan, drowned on Saturday. How does this happen? How as a family do you recover?

The Millers were attending a party at a neighbor’s on Saturday when daughter Emeline wound up in the pool. Efforts to resuscitate her were fruitless. “We are beyond devastated,” Bode wrote on Instagram. “Never in a million years did we think we would experience a pain like this. Her love, her light, her spirit will never be forgotten. Our little girl loved life and lived it to its fullest everyday.”

Being a parent is an incredibly tough job. We wouldn’t know, but man, you let your guard down for two minutes and your entire life changes.

4. Bye Bye, Bond Girl

Eunice Grayson, known better to James Bond fans as Sylvia Trench, has died at the age of 90. The First Bond Girl appeared in two of his films, Dr. No and From Russia With Love. In the former film 007 meets her at a card game and utters for the first time the immortal words, “Bond. James Bond.”

There is no news on how exactly Grayson passed from these mortal coils, but suffice it so say she was not dipped in liquid gold.

5. As Close As We’ll Ever Come To Summiting Mount Everest

Thanks to Outside magazine for putting Everest: The Summit Climb, a film by Elia Saikaly, on its website. This is gobsmacking, no?


This is like a “Focus On What’s Truly Important” inspirational poster in video form.


Music 101

Jackie Wilson Said (I’m In Heaven When You Smile)

So many bands, performers, acts seem tied to a particular period in time (Creedence Clearwater Revival, the late ’60s; Duran Duran, the early ’80s), but Van the Man just kept releasing great track after great track that seem untethered to any particular pop culture wave. This one, from St. Dominick’s Preview, was released in 1972. It was recorded in the Bay Area.

Remote Patrol

On The Town

8 p.m. TCM

New York, New York/A helluva town/The rent is up and the F train is down/The people think DeBlasio’s a clown/New York, New York/It’s a helluva towwwwwwwn!

Gene Kelly and Frank Sinatra at their very best.

4 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. You have to choose between two options:

    1) Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un hit it off and NoKo decides to relieve tension with SoKo and the finally unite as one Korea, with a full denuclearization (is that a word? Let’s hope so.). If this is done, Trump gets to be President until the next election.

    2) Turns out this date doesn’t go well and Trump decides to send Mean Tweets Kim’s way. NoKo continues on its path of whatever it is they do over there (fear mongering, perhaps?) and threatens to squash Seoul. Mueller’s investigation still continues and Trump may or may not be impeached.

    • Are you serious?! The Two Sociopaths meet for a dog & pony act (who’s the dog? hmmmm) & the world is supposed to actually believe ONE WORD OUT OF THOSE PATHOLOGICAL LIARS? LOL! Unbearable Kimmy Uh-No will NEVER “denuke”! Don’t care if he g’damn pinky swears. His ONLY objective is to get the USA out of SoKo & then he will attack.

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