by John Walters

Tweet du Jour

Starting Five

1. North Atlantic Tweety Organization*

*The judges will also accept “IncogNATO” and “Tussles in Brussels” but not “A Twerp Near Antwerp”

En route to visit his A) pal? B) role model? C) benefactor?, President Trump makes a stop in Brussels for a NATO summit. There, he begins by calling our most powerful ally in Europe (nope, the world), Germany, “captive to Russia.” He tells everyone else to “pay up.”

Even before arriving, he was launching tweet bombs…

The irony of it all, of course, is, FROM WHOM ARE WE PROTECTING GERMANY AND THE REST OF EUROPE? WHO IS THE BIG BAD WOLF? Oh, that’s right: Russia. Where Trump’s best political friend on the international stage is the ruler.

I’d love to see every European country tell the United States to take its troops and go home (of course, so would Vlad). But maybe it’s time to roll back NATO. If my “friend” treated me with so little respect, I’d ghost them. Wouldn’t you?

2. Rule Number 7

Last night was a fantastic evening in MLB for the observance of Rule No. 7: “Baseball is the one sport where you can continually witness something you’ve never seen before.”

Exhibit A: In an Ohio interleague game in Cleveland, the Indians lead the Reds 4-0 with two outs in the ninth inning.  There are two men on base. What happens next for Cincinnati?

Single, double, intentional walk, walk, double, intentional walk, single. The Reds score seven runs with two outs in the ninth and go on to win, 7-4. But that might not have been as strange as…

Exhibit B: A walk-off hit in Houston that literally travels 2 to 3 feet past home plate. You have to see this to believe it.

Listen to the announcer: “The Astros win on a play that I’m not sure you’re ever going to see again.” That’s Rule No. 7.

3. Viva Le France

Yet another set piece goal. Umtiti’s header off a corner kick in the 51st minute decided it

For all the mocking everyone does, France is headed to its third World Cup final of the past 20 years. And for the third time, that final will be played in a European city.

The FFF won in 1998, when the final was played in Paris, and lost to Italy in 2006, when it was played in Germany. On Sunday they’ll face either England or Croatia in Moscow, thanks to yesterday’s 1-0 win against MH’s pick, Belgium.

Hazard’s one-on-one dribbling moves made him the Maravich of this World Cup

The French defense completely neutralized Lokaku and Fellaini and while, in our opinion, Eden Hazard was the most gifted player on the pitch, he could not do it alone (though it seemed as if he were trying at times). France will be the favorite on Sunday, and there isn’t a fat cat in FIFA who does not want to see them meet England.

4. In Which We Yet Again Gently Chide Jason McIntyre of Fox/The Big Lead For Not Fully Representing The Truth*

It feels like less than three years ago that the Royals won the World Series

*The judges will also accept “Salary Crap”

So this was the tweet that our professional acquaintance and sparring partner, Jason Mcintyre, sent out last night. It’s no secret that he is an avowed fan of the NBA and NFL and not of MLB (which is a little odd, because the people who sign his paycheck have invested billions into MLB but zero into the NBA; so we’ll give him credit for not toeing the company line):

His argument, I believe, is that MLB is an uneven playing field (this is technically true since ballparks’ outfields are not symmetrical, nor should they be; that’s part of the beauty of the game) because unlike the NFL and NBA, there is no hard salary cap (there IS a luxury tax, though). But here are two points he either forgot or conveniently omitted:

A) In the last four years the NBA has had the SAME TWO TEAMS meet in the NBA Finals. In the last four years of the World Series, seven of a possible eight teams participated. The lone team that went twice, the Kansas City Royals, now have the worst record in Major League Baseball.

Now, you can argue that if there were a cap the Royals would have been able to keep more of their best players. But how did they get such a quality team in the first place?

B) Look at that list above: The Giants, with baseball’s second-highest payroll, are 48-46. There are 15 teams (literally half of baseball) with as good or a better record. The Milwaukee Brewers, who are 26th in payroll (maybe this is why the bottom of his list begins at 27?), are 55-37 and own THE BEST RECORD IN THE NATIONAL LEAGUE.

Jason is a slippery one. You’ve got to fact-check him all the time.

5. Midwest Side Story

Ugly American. No other way to say it. And why is the Chicago police officer doing nothing? Now of course MAGA will whine that all three major networks covered this story last night, but we’ve got to ask, Why harass someone who is literally doing nothing to you?

The reason this video resonates for the MH staff, though, is what this 62 year-old man says. “You’re not going to change us,” he says, and by “us” he means the U.S. But they will. And they always have. Irish immigrants changed us. Italian immigrants changed us. Black (unwilling) immigrants changed us. The U.S.’ very DNA is about change, just as WASPs changed the landscape of this beautiful land that the Native Americans were able to preserve for centuries. When the Native Americans were the only people here, there was no New Jersey Turnpike, you know what I’m saying.

Immigrants WILL change us. They always have. Get used to it.

Music 101

Love Vigilantes

The first track of New Order‘s 1985 album, Low-Life. Listen to the lyrics. There’s actually a story going on with a twist ending.

Remote Patrol

World Cup

England vs Croatia

2 p.m. Fox

Nations Trump has or will visit this week are 0-1 in the World Cup semis thus far. Bad news for you, England.

2 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *