by John Walters

Tweet Me Right

Starting Five


Yes, it was funny when Sam Darnold‘s first NFL pass, nay, his first NFL snap, resulted in a pick-six (We know that guy!), but the USC product and No. 3 overall pick rolled from that point, going 16 for 20 and leading the Jets-Jets-Jets! to a 48-17 beatdown of Detroit (looks like another long season for our good pal, Rothstein, and on the first day of the New Year, no less).

Darnold is the youngest starting quarterback to open a season for his club in NFL history. The last NFL quarterback to win his debut by 31 points or more? Tom Brady. Speaking of the Patriots, don’t compare Matt Patricia to Charlie Weis. Yes, there’s the Belichick protege, slightly (!) rotund, moving-to-Midwest factors, but Charlie Weis won his head coaching debut by 31 points.

p.s. Not that anyone’s counting, but it’s only been 50 years since both the Jets and Knicks were good at the same time.

2. Selfie-Assisted Suicide (A Never-ending Drama)

This is not the first such story we’ve run (remember the Grand Canyon incident, that cliff in Australia overlooking the ocean, that waterfall in British Columbia, etc?) and it won’t be the last. A few days ago 18 year-old Tomer Frankfurter, a tourist from Jerusalem, plunged to his death while attempting to take a selfie at Nevada Fall, which is roughly a 600-foot drop.

There are multiple warning signs near the site, plus the big giveaway that the word “Fall” is in the name.

The MH staff walked right past this spot 13 months ago, and on the way out we did so at about 2 a.m. (thanks, Geoff! :)) and from above, as you can see, it all looks kind of tame and inviting. One thing if you ever visit: The sound of the water crashing over the side is extremely vivid and humbling. It hits you more than the visual does.

We read that more people now die worldwide from selfie-borne incidents than from shark attacks. Not that anyone in the U.S. dies from shark attacks, but that’s another story for another post.

3. Ramona Vs. Martina*

Martina indirectly took a backhand to Ramona’s tweet. This is not a backhand, so don’t @ us.

*Before you accuse the judges of pitting one woman against another in order to be divisive, please note that they are just pointing out that two intelligent, accomplished females happen to be disagreeing. We report; you decide.

The Serena (or, “Serene, Uh”) meltdown was only minutes old on Saturday afternoon when ESPN’s Ramona Shelburne sent out this Stand Down, Men message into the Twittersphere:

I think I get it: If you never played the game, keep your trap shut. This warning comes from a person who played softball at Stanford and was a three-time Academic All-American. Okay, good for her (the MH staff rowed for three years at Notre Dame and was a freshman coach their fourth, not that any of this matters). We just found it odd that someone who’s paid six figures by ESPN to write about and comment on, chiefly, the NBA, is lecturing us about staying in our lane when it comes to opining on a sports moment unless you’ve been there.

Then, two days later, a person by the name of Martina Navratilova (18 Grand Slam championships, arguably one of the top three female tennis players of all time) went and penned an Op-Ed in The New York Times (she even signed her name to it!) and basically made all the same points we were making.

Our point: Don’t shush! an audience based on the fact that they never played the game. Or if you’re going to do that, stop depositing checks from ESPN for being a sports blabber.

4. Clay Travis: Week 2

After going 10-4 in Week 1 (but initially reporting it as 10-2), Clay went 4-8 in Week 2. We’ll never mock anyone for having a bad week against the spread, etc. We just want to see if Clay reports his record accurately. It’s Tuesday and still no report from Clay, as opposed to last week when he reported his 10-2 (sic) record on Sunday, the very next day.


Also, before each set of weekly picks, Clay is bold-facing his VIP offer (only $99 annually) that, among other things, allows you to see his picks on Monday or Tuesday (before the lines move) as opposed to later in the week when the hoi polloi have access to them for free. Of course, if his picks finish underwater for the year, is there a money-back guarantee? I don’t think so.

5. Tucker Carlson’s Rant

Three Latin words, which he can find on any coin: E Pluribus Unum: From many, one.

But we can say more: The guy who created Apple was the son of a Syrian immigrant. The guy who created Tesla (don’t laugh) is a South African immigrant. The guy who alerted FDR to very powerful bombs that Hitler was having his scientists build was a German Jew (Einstein) immigrant who helped launch the Manhattan Project. I’ve just tackled three continents with three people who helped change the U.S. for the better.

Diversity in ideas? Yes. Diversity in free speech? Certainly. It’s just funny that the guy ramming this anti-diversity message down our throats works at a network where every male on air is white and every female on-air is a cookie-cutter Barbie knock-off.


Music 101

More Than A Feeling

A monster, I mean a Category-5 with lasting effects, hit from a band that no one had ever heard of. A defining song both of the 1970s and of classic rock.

In September of 1976 Boston released this song that the band’s leader, Tom Scholz, an MIT grad, had been working on in his basement for two years. Unforgettable guitar riffs, both  picking and jamming, as well as Brad Delp‘s magical vocals.

Considering that Boston and Aerosmith (and even The Cars) broke out at roughly the same time from the same city, it was a great time to be a music fan in Beantown. If you’re wondering, because we got the lyric wrong for decades, the line after “More than a feeling” is “When I hear that old song they used to play…”

Remote Patrol


10 p.m. TCM

Nominated for four Oscars, including Best Picture, and marking the first time black actors from the same film were nominated for Best Actor (Paul Winfield) and Best Actress (Cicely Tyson). From 1972. I believe I saw this and Old Yeller (on The Wonderful World of Disney) in the same year and that’s too many dog-related tears for a 5 year-old to have to deal with.

5 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. I do not watch Fox News but I have seen Tucker Carlson on TV in the (distant) past & while he’s always been too far right for me, he never seemed totally BENT till the past year or so. WTF? Do you think this is his TRUE self? Fox News – American Nazis on Parade.

    And speaking of self-destructive POS, what are you thinking about your boy Musk these days? (I keep askin’ & eventually you’ll answer). Even before his POT smoking interview, I’d been thinking he’s either having what used to be called “a nervous breakdown” or he’s become addicted to drugs, possibly opioids. Right now, he is destroying his company & possibly himself.

    Anyhoo, small confession. Many days I don’t have time to fully read your posts in the AM, so I read what I can, then skim, then print & read later. I did that yesterday. And sometimes, what I skim, doesn’t really “register” in the brain at that moment. Case in point – I was in a meeting yesterday afternoon & some of your topic headers floated thru my brain; I suddenly remembered “CBS : Now with Less Moonves” & burst out laughing. In the middle of someone talking. Heads swiveled in my direction. This kind of thing used to happen to me routinely back in school (when my mind would drift) so I SHOULD be good at this type of “triage” but I’m rusty. I apologized & mumbled something. I ALMOST told everyone the origin of my laughter but quickly realized it was a VISUAL joke & they would just look at me with those “she’s losing it” stares. Sigh.

    Thanks for the belated giggle. 🙂

  2. I don’t mean to pick nits, but Charlie Weis’ head coaching debut was on Sept. 3, 2005 (the day before I got married) vs. Pitt. Final score was 42-21. I’m no math major (come to think about it, what was my major?), but that’s a 21 point win, not 31 points. But who’s counting?

    Either way, he received quite the pay raise a few weeks later after almost beating USC at home. Maybe Jimbo Fisher deserves the same treatment after almost beating Clemson last week at home?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *