by John Walters

Tweet Me Right

We wish we were as committed to anything as Holmoe is to his costume game.

Starting Five


One day after staging a press conference in which chairman of the board of trustees James T. Brady said that Maryland would retain coach D.J. Durkin and in which he also said, seriously, “There will be no third chance for any of those involved to get this right,” Maryland reversed itself and fired Durkin.

What gives? Was it the incendiary column by Sally Jenkins of The Washington Post that used “suppurating” in the lead paragraph (we had to look it up)? Was it the irate phone calls the switchboard received from Susie B., promising to take back her promise of all her Amazon windfall being donated to the school posthumously to help build a super monkey collider? Was it President Trump’s appeals to the school’s humanity?

Nope. President Wallace D. Loh simply defied the Board of Trustees’ recommendation, wisely taking heed of the outcry. As our friend Matt Zemek said, “When they go low, we go Loh.”

2 Rose, Bud

Purportedly washed-up former NBA MVP Derrick Rose drops a career-high 50 on the Jazz as the Timberwolves win 128-125. By the unofficial count of the MH Statistical Bureau & Haberdashery, that’s the fourth player who’s posted a 50-point game this season and that was just in October. Rose, 30, sets an unofficial record as the first survivor of 17 torn ACLs to score 50 points in an NBA game.

3. Enter Sandler Man

Clever and funny and true (if a little too much profanity for Phyllis) from Adam Sandler.

4. Birth White Citizenship

You can almost feel the love coming right through the page at you

In President Trump’s latest ploy to distract you from, among other things, the fact that no one has yet produced Jamal Kashoggi’s remains, yesterday he went off on rant about how he was going to revoke birthright citizenship, i.e., the right of being a U.S. citizen simply by being born here even if your parents are not citizens.

Alas for Trump, the 14th Amendment, ratified in 1868, says that “all persons born or naturalized in the United States and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States.”

So it’s a matter of having to overturn a Constitutional amendment as opposed to being handed a folder and, seated at your desk in the Oval Office, signing your name.

Of course, the other dealio here is that three of Trump’ children, Don Jr., Eric and Ivanka, were all born to a mother who was not yet a United States citizen. “Lock them out!”?

5. Hilton Rewards

We enjoyed this piece on about marathoner Nick Hilton, who is unsponsored but has done the “Go West (And Find Altitude), Young Man” thing that so many recent arrivals to Flagstaff, Arizona, have done. Hilton is entered in the New York City Marathon this weekend and he won’t win (maybe he’ll finish in the top 10), but at the age of 29, the former Division II All-American at Lock Haven U. in Pennsylvania is chasing  his dream.

He may never be the best, but Hilton is determined to find out what is his best. Gotta respect that.


Music 101

Edge Of Seventeen

Before it was a movie, it was an autumn 1980 hit for Stevie Nicks that was blasting out of every woofer and quite a few tweeters. This was the third single off her album Bella Donna but the first that did not include a duet with a well-known male artist. For $500 and the opportunity to move into our lightning round, can you name those artists.

Remote Patrol

Temple at UCF

7:30 p.m. ESPN

The nation’s 2nd-best quarterback from Hawaii leading an unbeaten team from the South.

The Knights (not Golden, or Wayne for that matter) are undefeated and at No. 12 in the rankings. Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my closeup.


One thought on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. Haha, MD got enough of my BLOOD, SWEAT & TEARS when I went there! Plus, the writing was on the wall when they dumped the ACC for the BIG BUCKS of the Big “10”; the conference that can’t even COUNT.

    I was as shocked as everyone else when those nitwits announced Durkin was coming back. Then again, it’s ALL ABOUT THE MONEY. Since their so-called investigation couldn’t put Durkin “in the Library with the lead pipe” (so to speak), there was “no cause” to fire his ass & thus, they’d have to cough up the dough. Since the school is apparently YET AGAIN having “financial issues”, thus sprung the INANE “decision” (if you can call it that) to keep him (AND apparently the actual trainers whose incompetence led to the athlete’s death) .

    However, Sally Jenkin’s piece? I like Sally & have read (well, used to but since WAPO put up a paywall, that stopped after “3 articles a MONTH”!) her writing for years, but she goes WAY over the top in that most RECENT hit piece. Yeah, “recent” as she HATES Univ of MD or hates the football program or Athletic Dept as she has written several eviscerating take-downs in the past (hellloooo, Randy Edsall). Since she writes in the “local paper”, I guess she’s had some run-ins with the school & she’s determined to BURN THAT SUCKER DOWN. (As a Stanford grad, her animosity can’t be that she was turned down or put on wait list, but damn, she has got an axe to grind!).

    I still have not found any articles that detail exactly what happened that day & who did what/when. Do I think ANY college coach should be fired if one of their athletes dies? It depends on the circumstances! It’s tragically not that much of a shock to read of a high school or college athlete dying during a game or practice – freak accidents, horrible luck, or undiscovered health/physical issues can all lead to that deadly outcome. (And hey, sometimes not just athletes but those that WORK for the program in some capacity die, ay, jdubs?) What matters is if the coaching staff caused it &/or did little to save the victim.

    Anyhoo, don’t feel sorry for Loh; HE is the guy that dumped the ACC & went running to the Big “10”. For money. And now, they’ve got money problems again. I guess maybe they shouldn’t have spent $200 MILLION on a new football “PRACTICE, I SAID PRACTICE” facility. Heck, do you really need fancy schmancy PRACTICE digs to be football fodder for the Big Boy teams of the Big “10”?

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