by John Walters
Tweet Me Right
— CBS Sports (@CBSSports) November 4, 2018
1. No Stemming This Tide
The matchup most of us were waiting for, No. 1 Alabama at No. 1 LSU, was yet another Nick Saban-produced yawner. The Crimson Tide won 29-0 and the only dents in the Tuscaloosa Invincibility Shield were the fact that they finally failed to score a touchdown on their first possession of the game and that Tua Tagovailoa finally threw a pick, his first of the season.
Dig, Alabama IS by far the best team in the country, but they’re not out of the kudzu yet. They’ve got Auburn at the end of the month and War Eagle is never intimidated seeing as how so many of the players on both teams grew up with one another. Georgia, in Atlanta, is no gimme either. The curious thing is that we still see the Tide getting a playoff berth if they lose either of those two games.
2. Rick Roll: The Walking Dead
So Sheriff Rick Grimes explodes a bridge on The Walking Dead in order to save Alexandria, but with him on it. Fortunately, in his farewell episode, a helicopter appears from above (deus ex machina turns out to be an actual machina) to rescue him both from having to appear in future episodes but also so that he may appear in AMC-produced films documenting the further adventures of Sheriff Rick.
So did TWD borrow this character farewell from The Bridge On The River Kwai or Saving Private Ryan? Or both?
We stopped watching TWD about three seasons ago, although we’ll admit to being obsessed with it before then. At this point, though, the show is a personification of its title. How ironic is that?
3. Anderson of Nazare
We really enjoyed this piece on 60 Minutes on the world’s biggest wave (on the Portuguese coast) and the man who, at least for a ride or two, conquered it. If you’re scoring at home, Anderson Cooper has dived with great white sharks off the coast of South Africa, dived in croc-infested rivers in Africa, and ridden a waverunner in front of 25-foot waves off Nazare.
No wonder his hair is white.
Speaking of which…
4. For Pete’s Ache
Forget that he looks like the oldest lesbian in the cell block on Orange Is The New Black, SNL‘s Pete Davidson flirted with Lorne Michaels having to fire him after he mocked a one-eyed Republican candidate, Daniel Crenshaw, who lost his right eye as a Navy SEAL serving a tour of duty in Afghanistan.
Davidson: “This guy is kind of cool, Dan Crenshaw.”
Weekend Update co-host Michael Che (knowing what’s coming because obviously they did this in dress rehearsal): “Yo, come on.”
Davidson: ““You may be surprised to hear he’s a congressional candidate from Texas and not a hit man in a porno movie.”
One note here. The Fox & Friends gang will use Davidson’s low blow to declare that “both sides” are going over the line. Of course, the difference is that Davidson’s a comic with some serious mental health issues while the person F&F is trying to equate him to is the president of the United States.
The Davidson kerfuffle, alas, overshadowed a hilarious line by Che earlier in the segment. Complaining about how if the liberals in his orbit would just shut up about his not voting, Che reminded them that he’s an actual native New Yorker and that if they really wanted to help out they’d go back to Ohio or wherever they are from and vote there. “You know how red states stay red?” Che said. “They send their liberal kids to coastals cities to study improv.”
Also liked the cold open, particularly for the mention of the “1990 Detroit Pistons” (the specificity of the year was perfect) and the shout-out to/ripping of Alec Baldwin (he should’ve made a cameo in the Five-Timers Club bit in handcuffs, though).
5. Bear To Your Right
We could all learn a lesson from this baby bear: Look up & don’t give up. pic.twitter.com/nm0McSYeqY
— IM🍑HIM (@ziyatong) November 3, 2018
We cannot wait to learn that this is actually the Hunter Valley Ski Lodge just a couple hours north of New York City.
Chick-A-Boom (Don’t Ya Jes’ Love It)
From off-beat songs like this 1971 radio hit by Daddy Dewdrop did Dr. Demento build a syndicated radio career.
No Country For Old Men
The MH staff held a movie night in our North American headquarters last night and this 2007 Best Picture winner from the Coen Brothers still holds up. It will always hold up. We still think Tommy Lee Jones deserved to win Best Actor in this category, though it’s pretty difficult to argue with the scenery-chewing work of Daniel Day-Lewis in There Will Be Blood. We’ll be honest: another reason this film captivates us is that Josh Brolin’s Llewelyn Moss looks, sounds and behaves like the adult version of one of our childhood best friends (who would go on to briefly pitch in Major League Baseball for the Angels).
Every last actor in this film is authentic and you can just taste the west Texas dirt in your mouth as you watch it. Other films have come along and attempted to invade this space (see, Hell Or High Water) but they just tried too damn hard. The best Coen Brothers film, and for us this is that, never overexert themselves. This is a genuine classic.