by John Walters

Tweet Me Right

Since deleted. Funny, guys.

Starting Five

1. Standing Pat, Staying Put

With a 28-0 third quarter fueled by four Utah turnovers, Northwestern erased a 20-3 halftime deficit to win the Holiday Bowl, 31-20. It was only the Holiday Bowl, played before a few thousand soggy souls in San Diego, but it was also the Wildcats’ third straight bowl victory and it sent out this senior class as the school’s winningest, with 36 victories in the past four seasons.

Most importantly, coach Pat Fitzgerald immediately quashed any rumors that he might be taking Vince Lombardi’s old job in Green Bay. “Hashtag ‘Go Cats,’ man,” Fitz said while still on the field. “I’m not going anywhere. This is home forever.”

2. Year-End Pink Slips

Six NFL coaches were fired on the final day of the NFL season or, one day later, the final day of the year: Vance Joseph of the Denver Broncos (two seasons), Steve Wilks of the Arizona Cardinals (one season), Dirk Koetter of the Tampa Bay Bucs (three seasons), Adam Gase of the Miami Dolphins (three seasons), Todd Bowles of the New York Jets (four seasons) and Marvin Lewis of the Cincinnati Bengals (16 seasons).

Coincidentally or not, four of those six coaches are black, rendering the league, whose player pool is 70% African-American, with two such black coaches (roughly 6%). Hello, Rooney Rule!

Lewis makes his Cincy exodus with a slightly above .500 record but an 0-7 record in playoff games. Ouch.

3. Laura’s Leaving

Due to a dwindling number of advertiser, Laura Ingraham‘s radio show was canceled. Foxy  Blonde Hate Mongering continues (Tomi Lahren and Britt McHenry still exist), but Ingraham, who took glee in mocking a high-school shooting survivor being rejected by Cal-Berkeley (he has since been admitted to Harvard), is particularly pernicious.

She’ll now be opening for Louis CK on his flyover-state comedy tour…

4. Walker Capital: “What Do We Know?!?”

That’s our new slogan at WC, Medium Happy’s middle-class wealth management firm. Last January, giddy from having chosen Nvidia (NVDA) as our stock pick of 2017 the year before, announced Bitcoin Investment Trust (GBTC) as our stock pick of 2018. That stock, which opened the year at $21.23, closed yesterday at $3.95 (we stand by our selection with the minor caveat that we should have advised you to short it).

Of course, 2018 was the worst year for the stock market since 2008, all of which came down in the final three months (the market was booming, the Dow at an all-time high, when Jamal Khashoggi was killed on October 2; coincidence?).

So what is our advice for 2018—last year’s top performing stock was Advanced Micro Devices (AMD), which rose 79% overall but fell 45% in the final quarter? Oh no, you’re not gonna fool us again. Our only advice in this volatile market is to not go chasing yesterday’s news, good or bad, or even the previous hour’s. And hold on to your Amazon (AMZN) stock. Always.

5. CNN: Champagne News Network

Ordinarily über-professional CNN show hosts Anderson Cooper and Don Lemon got a little tipsy while doing New Year’s Eve festivities last night. Chris Cuomo was off somewhere with a foam roller and a Bowflex machine.

(It’s “conch,” with an “n,” Bill).

Music 101 

The Breakup Song (They Don’t Write Em)

In 1981 the Greg Kihn Band had a couple of hits that charted, including this one that reached No. 15 in autumn of that year.

Remote Patrol

Outback Bowl

Iowa vs. Mississippi State

Noon ESPN2

Fiesta Bowl

1 p.m. ESPN

Citrus Bowl

Kentucky vs. Penn State

1 p.m. ABC

Rose Bowl

Ohio State vs. Washington

5 p.m. ESPN

Sugar Bowl

Georgia vs. Texas

8:45 p.m. ESPN

Five games, one day. Find your favorite pair of flannel sweats and get comfortable.

6 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. I’m taking TWTR as my stock pick of 2019.

    For the first time in history, we will either see an impeachment of the President unfold on Twitter or the complete unraveling of democracy in the United States.

    Either or, I want to profit before the days become no more.

    Happy New Year!

      • TSLA is down 9% the 1st trading day of 2019! But don’t fret jdubs, it can’t possibly be worse than 2018’s pick! 🙂

        In case you think I’m bragging, I printed my 2018 EOY stock spreadsheet & my current theme song is….

        “The LADY IN RED is crying, tears are rollin cheek to cheek
        There’s no green on there, it’s just red, red, oh so not where I wanna be
        I hardly know this list of stocks!
        I’ll never forget the way it looks tonight”

        Anyhoo, if we can only pick ONE stock for 2019, I’m picking TERP (& not because I’m an alum!) . 🙂 I mentioned it to you a few months back & I bought some last month. Plan to buy a little more. If I can mention a few others : NVDA, EDIT & EXEL. All 4 together spell T-E-E-N, so that’s right, 2019 is gonna be the year of TEEN spirit! 🙂

        • Susie B!

          I’m up 2% in 2019. Should I just shut the entire operation down now?

          And honestly, what could be better than your preferred stock pick being down 9% on first trading day of year? It’s an invitation to leap into the pool!

          • We’ve always disagreed on this – *I* say the “start date” for each year’s gains/losses is the LAST MARKET DAY OF THE PREVIOUS YEAR! So, for 2019, its 12/31/18. To truly see the growth or loss from the previous year, you must use the closing prices of the final day of the previous year.

            So, this means you’re already in a HOLE on TSLA by 9%. Or is it 10% by now? 🙂 Of course, there is probably little to no correlation between the market’s action on the 1st day to that of the entire year. Sort of like how there is little correlation to each day’s pre-market action & how it actually closes. Hmmm, I wonder if someone has the stats of the 1st day vs each year?

            The REAL question about TSLA is if Musk plans any more STONED interviews! If he was the CEO of a pot company, it might not hurt him, but for a CAR company that expects/wants financing from that ‘bastion of liberalism’ – BANKS? LOL!

            Anyhoo, I finally finished plugging in last year’s dividends to my 2018 single-year stock spreadsheet (I do 2 sheets – one is the total return TD & then one for each year). I was pleasantly surprised after this year’s final 3 months’ “Splash Mountain”* that I was only down 10% for the year! The dividends helped! Also, all the stuff I bought in Nov & Dec were up at the end, so that helped too!

            * If you’ve ever been on Disney World’s Splash Mountain ride, you know for 90% of the “ride”, you’re just riding ever so gently along, looking at all the animatronics & THEN, the big DROP happens right at the end. If you didn’t look at the ride before you got on, it is a SHOCKER as it’s a short but STEEP drop AND you get SOAKED. Pretty much sums up 2018’s stock market for me! 🙂

            Here’s hoping your 2019 pick outperforms 2018’s! And since I own TWTR, here’s hoping Jacob is a clairvoyant! 🙂

          • Actually, I completely agree with that, Susie B.

            And you’ll note that on the blog I wrote that I wasn’t picking any stocks. What I said in the comments (“I like Tesla”) is strictly that: a comment.

            FTR, when TSlA plunged 10% this morning, I bought some.

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