by John Walters
Tweet Me Right
Joshua Trump owns. pic.twitter.com/68fVCEvkky
— southpaw (@nycsouthpaw) February 6, 2019
Nancy Claps Back
Photographer Doug Mills captured the moment at the State Of The Union when President Trump’s words, which some to the left of the aisle might perceive as indicative of the double standard the GOP is foisting upon us now that we don’t have a Kenyan commander-in-chief, earned a clap back from House Speaker Nancy Pelosi.
What Trump actually said: “We must reject the politics of revenge, resistance and retribution and embrace the boundless potential of cooperation, compromise and the common good.”
— Brian Koerber (@bkurbs) February 6, 2019
At that moment, as those in the chamber applauded, Pelosi clapped vigorously and at the POTUS and some (including us) interpreted it as, “Yeah, finally.”
2. Et Tu, SOTU
Other notes, observations and memorable moments from SOTU 2019 (an incomplete wrap-up), or as we’ve dubbed it “Unity…Or Else!”:
–Trump’s red tie was seriously leaning to the left at the beginning of his speech, lending itself to an easy “Even his tie is crooked” joke.
–A friend of mine was not the only one who saw all the female congresswomen dressed in various shades of white and wondered if this was a new season of The Handmaid’s Tale. I just thought of a Wimbledon class photo or perhaps the flight attendant lounge at Emirates Airlines.
–Outside of his border wall argument, which if factually challenged was at least vigorous and focused, the president kept to the safest of topics. We learned that he’s against childhood cancer and in favor of remembering World War II heroes and survivors. Hell, Maroon 5’s set list was edgier than that.
Did no one catch that Grace, the young girl who is in remission for brain cancer was treated at Shriners hospital where “no family ever receives a bill.” The rest of 1st world nations call that universal healthcare. Good thing Grace wasn’t 30. #SOTU2019 #STOU #UniversalHealthCare
— Marianne Moore (@MarianneMoose) February 6, 2019
–As to the aforementioned “factually challenged,” the sheriff of El Paso his own self fired up the Twitter machine to refute Trump’s claim that a wall had made his city safer. It was very safe long before that, the lawman argued.
–The President insinuated that there cannot be peace if Robert Mueller does not quit investigating him, going full Jackie Chiles with this quote:
“If there is going to be peace and legislation, there cannot be war and investigation.” pic.twitter.com/0hHpcsybbz
— Joshua Green (@JoshuaGreen) February 6, 2019
–In case you were wondering, the president never mentioned or even alluded to 1) the 35-day shutdown or 2) climate change.
—Kamala Harris with the best “No, no” we’ve seen since the housekeeper in Get Out:
My wife pretty much any time I talk to her. pic.twitter.com/rzlaPV9vGD
— Mark Ennis (@MarkEnnis) February 6, 2019
–Trump actually said that had he not been elected, the USA would be in a war with North Korea right now. WUUUUUT!?!
–We kinda did a side eye when the man who inherited millions from his dad and has since declared bankruptcy half a dozen times talked about America “not squandering its inheritance.”
–Trump mentioned “ridiculous partisan investigations,” but James Comey and Robert Mueller are Republicans. So who was he talking about?
3. The Crocodile Punter
No, this is not an MS-13 member, at least not as far as we know. This is Louis Hedley, a 6’4″ punter from Australia by way of the City College of San Francisco (yes, also O.J.’s alma mater). None of the real publications have identified where from Down Under he’s actually from, other than to say that he’s in his mid-twenties and worked as a scaffolder in the Aussie desert (that’s west) for eight years. You just have to wonder if Manny Diaz will let him out of two-a-days next summer to attend Sturgis, no?
4. Sweet Pea Loses By 42!
We’re just posting this for our (and Susie B.’s) enjoyment. The Indiana Pacers, minus their best player (Victor Oladipo) destroyed the Los Angeles Lakers, who had their best player (besides Kyle Kuzma), by 42 points. The final was 136-94, the worst loss of LeBron James’ career.
— Michael Lee (@MrMichaelLee) February 6, 2019
(This photo says it all, no?)
Is it fair to say that all that Anthony Davis trade talk has not done wonders for locker room cohesiveness. After the defeat Lakers brass announced that they were walking (limping?) away from trade negotiations with the Pelicans, which makes us just a little sad because we were hoping to use the hed “LeBrow” one of these days.
5. Hawaii 1-0-0
Hawaii legislator Richard Creagan has introduced a bill that would make it illegal to smoke cigarettes before the age of 100. Quietly (or not so quietly), we think this is brilliant. It won’t surprise you to learn that Creagan is a Democrat, but you should also know that he is an E.R. physician who calls cigarettes “the deadliest artifact in human history.”
Let’s go to the audience survey. The number one answer is “GUN!”
Anyway, our sense of less government is better (we think Thomas Jefferson put it more poetically) compels us not to agree with Creagan’s bill, but at least it’s inspired. Besides, it leads us to another point we’d like to discuss: what if, at a certain age that we could all agree upon (say, 85 or 90 years old), the government could top off your Medicare at $1,000 a year? How much money would that save?
Now, this would be our proposal and as soon as we proposed it, Fox News, understanding its base, would report that I had declared a “War On Grandpa.” So what? I’m not in favor of anyone dying, but how many people in the the primes of their lives might have better access to health care if we weren’t spending so much on extending the lives of people who are often a quarter-century past their most recent day of employment. We’re all for golden years, but platinum years?
What say you?
Break On Through
Between the ages of 22 and 27 lots of young men work on getting a PhD. Jim Morrison worked on going from being nobody to one of the world’s most famous frontmen as leader of The Doors to having it all flame out with his death by heart failure (official cause unknown as he died in Paris, where an autopsy is not required by law) at the age of 27 in 1971. In between the band released eight albums that sold 4 million copies and a slew of singles that sold 8 million units and remain FM radio staples to this day.
You may already know this, but in case you don’t: While Morrison was one of the signature counterculture rebels, his father was a highly decorated Navy admiral who served with distinction in Vietnam.
The Longest Day
8 p.m. TCM
When it comes to telling the story of D-Day, there’s Ken Burns’ WW2 documentary, Band Of Brothers, Saving Private Ryan and this, from 1962, which came first. Not only do you have arguably the greatest alpha-male cast in the history of film (John Wayne, Robert Mitchum, Richard Burton, Sean Connery, Rod Steiger, Henry Fonda, Peter Lawford and Robert Wagner, among others), but you also see the day from the German perspective, with actual German actors playing those roles.
Some of those actors worked for almost nothing simply because they wanted a cameo in what they knew was going to be an epic picture. It is.