by John Walters

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Starting Five

Liar, Liar

Watch this above and then we’ll talk.

The problem I have with this is that CNN created Kayleigh McEnany. She was blonde and feisty and they had her on panels as the foil to Van Jones and Ana Navarro more nights than not in the year leading up to the 2016 election.

That very visibility put her in a position to become the latest sycophant to work for 45 and now Chris Cuomo’s in a dither that she is lying so blatantly on national television? And he says, “Interview’s over” and then it continues for another minute?”

You’re either a true believer in Trump and you suddenly have decided that everyone in the media lies or else you’re someone who understands the term gaslighting. There’s really no in-between at this stage.

Earlier, McEnany had said that “the president would never lie to the American people because he loves this country.” That’s a two-fer in terms of prevarication as the president lies daily and it’s obvious the only thing he truly loves is himself.

Two nights ago Lawrence O’Donnell of MSNBC did something very stupid and went with a story on Russia and oligarchs that was insufficiently sourced. When he fully realized his error, O’Donnell went on air the following night and owned up to it. That’s not lying; that’s doing a poor job and owning up to it.

Call us the first time Donald Trump admits that he was wrong about anything. Or that he spoke in error.

The test for CNN and Cuomo is whether they will invite McEnany back on their air. Sadly, that will probably have less to do with her credibility than it will with the ratings. And seeing how viral that clip has become, I think we know the answer.

Kenan Wins

Yesterday we wrote about an SNL cast member who, like all those who preceded her, burned brightly for a few moments and then left the galaxy. Every cast member leaves SNL, and most after five years or fewer. They either fail to make an impact (Jim Breuer) or they become so big that they reach escape velocity (Eddie Murphy).

Enter Kenan Thompson, the SNL unicorn. The former Good Burger star is 41 and about to enter his 17th season with SNL. He doesn’t want to leave and Lorne Michaels is in no rush to push him out the door. By the time he’s 50 Thompson will have spent more than half his life as an SNL cast member, and we think he’ll get there.

There’s something truly admirable about surviving in a place such as SNL for as long as Thompson has. The trick is consistency and stability. The highs aren’t too high and the lows not too low. I’ve worked with people at Sports Illustrated who are just like this (won’t mention any names for fear of embarrassing them) and the sad part is, I’ve sort of taken on this role at the Cookoutateria: show up every day, on time, do your job consistently, avoid the drama (we have just as long an employee casualties list as SNL or SI does, and what’s more, we’ve had actual deaths, including one this summer).

What makes Thompson special? Just seeing him in a skit brings a smile to your face. He’s always happy or bemused and he understands that in almost every skit, such as how he’s become SNL’s de facto game-show host, he realizes he’s there in a complementary role. Us, we’ll always love the inspired zaniness of “What Up With That?” (Bill Hader as Lindsey Buckingham???), which he appears to have retired a few years ago. That was his starring vehicle, and it was always brilliant.

The secret to a happy life is pulling over to go skating. It’s the journey, not the destination.

There’s a line from an old Cary Grant-Loretta Young film (The Bishop’s Wife…you can catch it on Netflix) in which a cabbie tells Grant’s character, an angel named Dudley, what’s wrong with the world today: “No one knows where they’re going and they’re all in a terrible hurry to get there.” That line appeared onscreen in 1947 and it’s every bit as true today. Kenan Thompson is not one of those people. And you can see the inner joy within him because of it. A lesson for us all.

Note: We had wanted to write this story at Newsweek just before all the *&% hit the fan there. Glad it was written by WaPo. Thompson’s resilience and understanding of how good he’s got it is refreshing.

A Bunt Really Is As Good As A Hit

We show you this clip because we were alive at the time and until Twitter showed this to us yesterday, we’d never heard of it. This belongs right up there with the greatest Seventies sports moments, like Doc Ellis pitching a no-hitter on LSD.

The night was May 29 1974. The place, Arlington Stadium in Texas. It’s the fourth inning. Earlier in the at-bat Cleveland Indian pitcher Bob Johnson decides to brush Texas Ranger Lenny Randle off the plate by throwing a pitch behind him. Randle retaliates by bunting down the first base lineโ€”props for the execution of this ideaโ€”and then decleats Johnson while clearly running out of the base path. Indians first baseman John Ellis then tackles Randle and it’s on.

You may not be surprised to learn that the Rangers’ manager was Billy Martin.

Postscript: Five nights later the two teams played again, this time in Cleveland. The Indians staged a promotion, 10-cent beer night (drinking age was 18 in Ohio). At some point Indians fans rushed onto the field and attacked Ranger outfielder Jeff Burroughs (an All-Star caliber player) and a few umpires. Three bases were stolen, and not by either the Indians and Rangers. The game was called and the Indians forfeited.

A month later, the Indians held another 10-cent beer night. I miss the Seventies.

Thelma & Louis

If you happen to be traveling in the very remote Four Corners region (where Utah-Arizona-Colorado-New Mexico meet), be on the lookout for this couple, above. They were being extradited from upstate New York to Tucson, Arizona, this week to face a murder charge when they overpowered two security guards who were transporting them, in the southeastern Utah town of Blanding. If this is the pilot episode of Vince Gilligan’s next AMC series, we’re all in.

Leap Of Faith

First, of course, WHY?
Second, where? It looks, from the storefront, to be somewhere in France.

Third, how does one practice this stunt?

Fourth, what happens if he clips a toe as he’s clearing that wall? I don’t think we wanna know.

Finally, how did Johnny Knoxville not think of this first?

Music 101

I Go Blind

Love this song and only in researching it did I realize that Hootie and the Blowfish, who had a hit with it in 1996, were only doing a cover version. The song was written and released by Canadian band 54-40 (whom I hope at some point in their careers opened for UB40) ten years earlier. Is it just me or does this tune have the flavor of a classic Blood, Sweat and Tears song?

Here’s the 54-40 version…

Remote Patrol

Georgia Tech at No. 1 Clemson

8 p.m. ACC Network

No. 14 Utah at BYU

10:30 p.m. ESPN

He’s impervious to the hair jokes

Foobaw is back! I know we had Coke Zero last weekend, but that UF-Miami game is best forgotten and who on the East Coast was still awake when Hawaii stopped Khalil Tate at the 1-yard line at about 2 a.m.? Tonight we see Trevor Lawrence and Clemson against a Georgia Tech team with a new coach, Geoff Collins, who led Temple to an 8-4 record last season. Then it’s the Holy War (wayyyyyy too early in the season for this, btw) as your nightcap, and the Utes are favorites in the Pac-12 South. Jon Krakauer will be on the concourse signing copies of Under The Banner Of Heaven at halftime.

8 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. I watched the O’Donnell show where he discussed the “info” about Trump’s DB (douche-bag?) loans being co-signed by Russian ‘oligarchs’ & it’s a shame we don’t yet have the written evidence as I absolutely believe it will turn out to be factual. What has been established is that DB launders Russian money, that Trump could NOT get large loans from any bank in the US & it’s probable that even DB couldn’t just sign off on losing the tens/hundreds of millions when yet another Trump business failed so they insisted on co-signers. And who better than some of their current “clients”?

    I also saw the beginning of last night’s show with the admission & apology. My heart sank as I had thought THIS would have been something to really land the Sociopath in the sh*t & we’d be that much closer to SAVING THIS COUNTRY & THE WORLD from this abomination & his vile “administration”. Did you see today that his henchmen want to roll back the regulation of methane, one of the big contributors to climate change? MY GOD, day after day, in almost every federal agency, the damage these Nazis have done & continue to do may be unrepairable. The Republican Party is responsible for ALL of this! Not just that narcissistic pathological liar/national embarrassment, who is really just the “shiny object/clown” being used to distract the American people from the fact this country is being destroyed from within. And NOT by “immigrants” or foreign terrorists.

    I know, I know, I’m just ranting the SOS. Let me offer my apology. (But I can’t promise I won’t froth over again… ๐Ÿ˜‰ ).

    On a totally different tangent – question for you jdubs & any MH readers : are there 2 seemingly unrelated things forever “connected” in your memory? One of mine popped into my conscience today, I guess because we’re coming to the end of another summer. I’ve mentioned here I went to summer camp for many years, 1st as camper then as counselor. The latter were given a half-day “off” once a week beginning the 2nd week to go into the nearest town & do laundry, some shopping, sightseeing, spend time with a visiting boyfriend, whatever. During many of my counselor years, I would drive the 30 or so miles down I-81 to Harrisonburg with a/some fellow counselors & we’d often end the day with a movie in the theatre on Main Street. Now, this was not one of those multiplex monstrosities, this was an old theatre with ONE large auditorium & a HUGE screen. I saw the original Star Wars there & one year we went to a movie that had just opened the week before & the line was long on the sidewalk, waiting with great anticipation to get in. It was one of those great summer nights – not too hot or humid & the world seemed alive with possibilities. While we were standing there chatting, we kept noticing a very strong odor & couldn’t quite put our finger on it at 1st & then finally I blurted out it was Purina Dog Chow! Of course, a plant was nearby. My goodness, it seemed as if we were INSIDE a bag of that chow. We kept looking at the locals in line & were fascinated that none of them seemed to take any notice. Anyhoo, the movie was E.T. We laughed, we cried, we loved it. To this day, I see E.T. or just the name scroll by on the TV listings & I “smell” Purina Dog Chow. I see a bag of the Chow in a grocery store & immediately think of E.T. So, two totally unrelated things forever “connected” for me. What about you? ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Also, I second Jacob. Plus, what is your 1st Top 8 of the 2019 season? And since it seems almost mandatory for a CFB writer (past or present) to announce ASAP who they see as the eventual four Playoff teams, what are yours? And lastly, will we (fingers crossed) get anyone other than Bama & Clemson in the NCG?! I’m thinking Nick’s boys look vulnerable since they just lost another impactful defensive guy yesterday, right?

    Oh, one more thing – I think you probably could have kept your TERP for some divvy income, at least until the inevitable crash does more than just ‘tease’. Utility stocks seem to be the “storm windows” of stock investing. ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Um, jdubs – I wrote a lengthy comment (natch) & it’s not there. It WAS there & now it’s gone. Has your site been taken over by, er, “spooks”? Who you gonna call?! ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Seriously, I wrote a comment before the two above & it’s not here. That’s never happened to me before. Has your site’s algorithms (or whatever) changed? Do I need the Queen to ask for my admittance? ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Apparently, Word Press has been taken over by GOP Nazis & this is their attempt to silence me. NEVER! ATTICA! ATTICA!

        OR, perhaps your recent professed hatred of all things ‘Ghostbusters’ has attracted some vengeful poltergeists. Say you’re sorry, jdubs!

        Just so you know, Mr &/or Ms “geist”, I’m more on the Cowardly Lion’s wavelength – “I do believe in spooks, I DO believe in spooks!” Can’t we all just be friends?

        Meanwhile, earlier today – while waiting for this travesty of justice ( ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) to be rectified , I scrolled down yahoo news & saw a pic of what must be the SNAKE of all nightmares! It was HOOGE! I didn’t click on the pic because 1) I don’t trust the site I may be taken to & 2) if it is real, I WILL have nightmares! OMG!

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