by John Walters
East of Florida, Dorian reached maximum power and we hear some people have never even heard of a “Category 5” storm. The eye wall of the hurricane has hovered over the Bahamas for the past 36 hours, creating quite a mess over the islands. Good news, though: Alabama is safe.
Why don’t we just listen to this man the next time a hurricane looms?
Twenty-five confirmed dead but it looks as if the total count will be closer to 34 after a diving boat moored off Santa Cruz Island (40 or so miles off Santa Barbara) catches fire at around 3 a.m. Five passengers, all crew members, were able to leap off the 75-foot vessel to safety. The boat was moored just 20 yards off shore, in 64 feet of water.
So the questions are coming: How did the fire start? How did it spread so quickly? Why were the crew unable to notify or evacuate the passengers in time? Was there not a fire extinguisher on board.
That giant wave you see is all the lawsuits that are coming.
Oh, My Nose!
Late in the fourth quarter of last night’s Notre Dame victory at Louisville, Irish quarterback Ian Book threw a long pass out of bounds that struck Cardinal cheerleader Elizabeth Scott in the proboscis.
Nearly 50 years later and a Marcia Brady reference is still relevant:
Of course, since all of life is one Black Mirror episode (declares middle-aged man who writes free blog daily), the injured cheerleader took it as an opportunity to gain more social media followers. She reportedly has a broken nose.
We just wonder where was ESPN sideline reporter Maria Taylor when all of this was going on? #SheHadOneJob
Now that the AAA minor league baseball regular season, the first in which they switched to using the same baseballs currently being used in The Show, has concluded, we can report the final numbers on home runs.
For those of you scoring at home, that’s a 57% increase in home runs in the course of one season. Something’s up with dem balls, no?
For those wondering, Kevin Cron of the Reno Aces (Diamondback affiliate) led the American AAA teams in home runs with 38, while Chris Carter of the AAA Mexican League Acereros de Monclava led that league with 49.
Related: The New York Yankees were shut out yesterday for the first time in 220 games, ending the second-longest consecutive games with at least one run scored streak in MLB history. The longest (311) belongs to the 1931-33 Yanks. Oddly, the day before the Yanks did not score before the 8th inning before putting up 5 runs to beat the A’s 5-4. The pitcher who shut out the Yankees on Labor Day? Mike Minor of the Texas Rangers.
The Odessa File
In Odessa, Texas, a white male in his mid-thirties armed with an AR-15 goes on a rampage after being fired from his job and slaughters seven people. Let me guess: he was single?
A few thoughts here…If prayers are supposed to be our weapon of choice against the chronic number of mass murders, why don’t we just fight illegal immigration by praying about it?…Second, if it’s not about guns but rather about mental illness, then shouldn’t we look for common symptoms the way , you know, real scientists do? Let’s see, almost all mass murderers with guns are white males with rage issues. By that assessment, isn’t our president mentally ill?
Allow me to be honest and a little cynical for a moment. I can’t speak for all, but here’s one Northeasterner who comes across these stories almost weekly and thinks, As long as it’s gun-boner Texans shooting other gun-boner Texans, well, there’s something poetic about that. Keep it up. If you don’t have any more sense than to live in Texas, I can’t really help you.
Yeah, I wrote it.