by John Walters
Tweet Me Right
Give ’em hell, Josh.
Low Energy Donald
Are the walls finally beginning to close in on MAGAsaurus Rex?
Here’s the transcript, with key parts highlighted, of President Trump’s July 25th phone call with his Ukrainian counterpart, Volodymyr Zelensky (and who will play him on SNL this Saturday?). As far as we’re concerned, referring to Rudy Giuliani as “a highly respected man” is an impeachable offense (“Oh, shut up! Shut up, you moron! Shut up!”).
No one told him he’d have to show up for this.
So how’s this all going to end. The president will agree to move out of the White House as long as America signs an NDA.
Presidential scandals provided unexpected moments of gold. Here’s a CNN panel from around 5 p.m. in which CNN legal expert Jeffrey Toobin is seated right next to a screen showing CNN political director David Challan who looks like his doppelgänger if only Toobin went on a weekend KFC chicken-and-doughut sandwich binge.
Deep Throat II
Turns out that when the majority party in the government is either corrupt or cowering at the feet of a corrupt administration, there’s not much that can save us except for a courageous government official who’s willing to sacrifice his career for the good of the democracy. In 1972 it was Deep Throat, whose identity would be kept secret for 33 years before it was at last learned he was FBI associate director Mark Felt.
This week it was The Whistleblower, who at the moment lacks a punchier nickname, which really speaks to the paucity of quality hard-core porn films being released these days, don’t you think? Anyway, whoever this person is, it is HIS or HER leaks that kick-started the latest Affaire du Trump and—and I know we’ve all said this before—this one actually looks serious.
There should be a better child-proof seal on the sanctity of the world’s greatest superpower than a lone wolf having to risk everything to bring powerful men to task. Don’t you think? But thankfully there are still some people in Washington who believe in truth and justice as opposed to power and wealth. And how long until we learn this person’s name? And rank?
The Price Is Right
By now you may have read about Dan Price, the CEO of Gravity Payments, gave all of his employees a $10,000 raise (a 33% increase for some) and announced that by 2024 all would be earning $70,000 per year.
Corporate America: Was that so hard?
“The market rate for me as a C.E.O. compared to a regular person is ridiculous, it’s absurd,” said Price. “”A lot of people think giving up a million dollar a year salary and millions in profit is an unreasonable sacrifice to pay a living wage and give small businesses white glove service. Well, I am proof of one thing. It is worth it.”
You can be CEO and by far the wealthiest earner at your company and NOT be an asshole. What a novel concept.
Remember when the Milwaukee Brewers lost prospective repeat-NL MVP winner Christian Yelich in late August? Remember when they were just two games over .500 on August 30th?
Of course you don’t. Who does? Who cares about the Brewers?
Still, if you gave them any thought, you left them for dead. Well, Milwaukee is 20-4 since then and they just eliminated both the Cubs and Mets from the postseason. They’re guaranteed at least a wildcard berth and they’re only 1 1/2 back of the Cardinals for first place in the A.L. Central heading into the final weekend. The Cards have three left against the Cubbies, who may be either just empty or somewhat motivated to knock the Cardinals down from their perch. The Brew Crew has one against Cincy and three versus the Rockies, both sub-.500 clubs.
No Yelich? No problem. Baseball is weird.
Les Moulins de mon Couer (The Windmills of Your Mind)
Introduced in the original 1968 version of The Thomas Crown Affair, this tune composed by Frenchman Michel LeGrand with lyrics by a pair of Americans has, to us, always sounded better in French (not unlike Morticia Addams). It won the Oscar for Best Original Song that year and was re-recorded for the film’s remake by Sting. But we prefer this version.