by John Walters

Tweet Me Right


Starting Five

My Fiona

The impeachment inquiry has not been short on heroic figures the past week—Marie Yovanovitch, Lt. Col. Vindman and Bill Taylor, to name just a few—but yesterday Dr. Fiona Hill, a British coal miner’s daughter, took the oath and proceeded to be the best possible witness anyone could unearth. In an impeachment inquiry, her character and testimony were simply unimpeachable.

By this stage you’d have to be an idiot to not believe that President Trump was prompting a “quid pro quo” situation from newly elected President Zelensky. And you’d have to be hopelessly naive to not understand that this entire scheme was cooked up by Russian security, the very country that stood the most to gain by it.

Look: either Ukraine does not get the $400 million in aid and thus makes Russia’s fight against it that much easier, or it does for bending the knee to Trump, which possibly helps swing the 2020 election for Trump which is an even bigger win for Putin. It’s a very shrewd plan, comrade.

But we have plenty of idiots in this country at the moment, and most of them vote Republican.

I hate to be a pessimist, but this administration has sort of drilled it into me. As easy as it is to see that Trump is guilty; as similarly easy as it is to infer that this is probably just another day at the office for this man who in this instance just happened to be caught; this will all come down to the fact that there are currently 53 Republicans in the 100-person U.S. Senate and at least 40% of them are going to need to vote to impeach.

That seems like quite a stretch. Yes, Trump’s name will be added to the short list of presidents whom the House of Representatives voted to impeach (Andrew Johnson, Bill Clinton; Nixon resigned before it came to a vote) and that will be one more stain on his legacy. But he’ll probably not be ousted from office.

Meanwhile, a huge sector of America believes it’s okay to cheat out in the open, to side with Russia over fellow Americans, simply because it’s more important to be in power than to obey the Constitution. Sad.

Wholly Toledo

The foul here was actually called on T.J. Gibbs of Notre Dame, the player off the ball, and not John Mooney, the player who had it.

The Fighting Irish hoops team moved to 5-1 last night (this is the most transparently soft schedule this side of the Baylor football team) with a comeback win versus Toledo. You have to see a few of the plays here (note time and score):

Finally, the Rockets were held scoreless in overtime until this final play, which did not affect the game’s outcome, but still…

Mad Max Musk

Yesterday Tesla founder Elon Musk unveiled the perfect pickup for these dystopian times. The electric “Cybertruck” is a trapezoid on wheels and features a bullet-proof metal alloy: now if Musk could only design a hoodie made of the same material so I could go shopping at Wal-Mart.

The vehicle seats five and can haul all of your groceries from Trader Joe’s and more. It sells from anywhere between $39,900 and $69,000 and can go from 250 to 500 miles before needing a battery recharge. Or, in other words, you’ll need to drain your kidneys before it drains its battery.

Get Uppity

Exsqueeze me, Richard Jefferson? I wonder if the Fox News producer has already booked Clay Travis for a segment to discuss this. Jefferson is talking about Luka Doncic, by the way, the Eastern European player who, along with Giannis, is one of the NBA’s top two players under the age of 25.

Meanwhile, it was interesting to see Tony Kornheiser (white, Jewish) pose the following question to his old friend Michael Wilbon (black, obstinate) on Pardon The Interruption yesterday as regards the Myles Garrett allegation: “If it had been a black quarterback and he had said it, would Myles Garrett have reacted the same way?”

Wilbon: “No, because [then] it wouldn’t have been a racial slur.”


Five Films: 1961

  1. West Side Story If you’re looking for the perfect film, this is it: romance, drama, comedy, tragedy, suspense, war (on an urban front) and racism. The New York City depicted in films from the 30s, 40s and 50s almost never showed Gotham City’s seamy underbelly, and even when it did it was about (white) crooks and gangsters. Not only is this musical update of Romeo & Juliet entertaining, with physically demanding dance sequences and unforgettable songs, but it’s also a harbinger for the racial turbulence that would envelop the coming decade. Won 10 Oscars, including Best Picture. One more reason we love this: none of the male leads were, or became, big stars. The story was the star. 2. Judgment at Nuremberg A compelling courtroom drama based on the war crimes trial of the Nazis. Maximilian Schell as the German defense attorney Hans Rolfe gives one of the most powerful performances I’ve ever seen. He deservedly won a Best Actor Oscar; the black-and-white film was nominated for 11 Oscars, winning two. 3. The Hustler Classic Paul Newman as a pool hustler who wants to make it into the big time by taking on Minnesota Fats (Jackie Gleason). Methinks whoever made Rounders saw this film first. 4. Breakfast At Tiffany’s A somewhat watered-down version of Truman Capote’s novel, in which the male character is no longer gay. Mickey Rooney is somehow Chinese. Audrey Hepburn as Holly Golightly is the most delicate courtesan you’ll ever meet. Somewhat overrated as a film as compared to its prominence in people’s minds, but he title song, “Moon River,” Is pure perfection. If you can, watch with George Costanza. 5. The Guns Of Navarone A World War II story starring Gregory Peck that a later James Bond film, You Only Live Twice, will borrow heavily from.

One thought on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. There are only TWO great things about Breakfast at Tiffany’s : Moon River & Audrey’s (Holly’s) wardrobe.

    Other than that, great list! I do have some other faves, though. 🙂

    King of Kings – I had a crush on this ‘Jesus’ when I was 12-13. Will I be sent to Hell for that?

    2 more Jerry Lewis films – The Errand Boy & The Ladies Man.

    2 musicals – Flower Drum Song & Blue Hawaii (Elvis).

    Lover Come Back – Doris & Rock together again. (Keep ’em comin’, you two!)

    Come September – my fave Rock Hudson movie of all. Co-starred Gina Lolabridgida,
    Sandra Dee & Bobby Darren. I can’t explain why exactly I loved it so, but I did. I’ll still click on it if I see it on the On-screen Guide. It has peak Rock & Gina, teen romance with Sandra & Bobby (who sang in the movie), glorious Italy, comedy, & a happy ending. I think I just “explained it”. 🙂

    And 3 Disney flicks :
    The Absent-Minded Professor starring Fred MacMurray, Tommy Kirk & FLUBBER!

    The Parent Trap with my fave Haley Mills & hunky Brian Keith. (Remake, schemake!)

    101 Dalmatians – starring a bunch of dalmatians (101 to be exact), a nice guy & gal, a couple of bumbling henchman & the one character who prompted my nightmares, who made me cry every time she appeared on-screen, who personified EVIL to me throughout my childhood – the dastardly CRUELLA DE VIL. Best character name of all time! 🙂

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