by John Walters
Tweet Me Right
I Never Metaphor I Didn’t Like
Two perfect metaphors for the Trump presidency. Number one, above, is the wasteland of detritus left behind after the president’s rally in Wildwood, N.J. Monday night… giving new meaning to “Dump Trump.” The Deplorables all get together and celebrate themselves and what’s left behind in the aftermath is a trillion-dollar deficit and an environment badly in need of oversight. “Don’t worry about it—the Democrats will clean up after us, they always do!”
Next up, in Calexico, Calif., 30 m.p.h. wind gusts blow over new paneling on the president’s “big, beautiful wall.” It wasn’t MS-13 that took it down. It was air. Some forces you just cannot see but they are implacable. Like wind. Or the future.
And Then What?
Even if we get John Bolton‘s testimony, I still don’t expect this Senate impeachment trial to have a Frank Capra ending. Jefferson Smith himself could pass out on the Senate floor and and the Moscow Mitch mice would still vote to acquit. So, even with transparency, don’t expect justice.
Which brings us to November. And the tweet above.
And even if by some miracle we do get fair elections, Bill Maher asks a very simple question. Who thinks Trump will leave office willingly?
As Dershowitz argues here, if the president does something he feels is in the public interest, no matter what it is, then it cannot be wrong. So if the president refuses to leave office because he states it is in the public interest, who will be able to prevent the next betrayal of the Constitution?
Answer: it would take a few military leaders and a loyal battalion. And hopefully the Secret Service would comply. But you might get plenty of armed Virginia militia ready to fight that. They don’t want democracy; they want a white monarchy.
But before we leave, I do have a question for Mr. Dershowitz: Based on his argument, any action that is taken in the public interest, as the person taking it deigns it to be, is immune to prosecution. So if someone were to off the president because he or she deems it to be in the public interest, that is not a crime?
In Melbourne, Novak Djokovic tops Roger Federer in straight sets to reach the Australian Open men’s singles final. Djokovic could win his 8th Aussie Open and his 17th Grand Slam overall, putting him two behind Rafael Nadal (19; knocked out previous round) and three behind Roger (20).
You have to go back to September 2016 to find the last time a male other than the three above won a Grand Slam singles title. Answer: Stan Wawrinka, U.S. Open.
And people were crying about Clemson-Alabama hegemony.
Well, I got that one wrong. Given the stock price’s run-up this month alone (about 30%) and then yesterday (an additional 2.49%) I figured Tesla stock would take a mild dive after earnings were reported after the bell. Not poorly, but enough to stay out of the game and wait until today’s opening at 9:30 a.m.
Instead, Tesla hit it out of the park and shares soared $46 (7.9%) to $626 after hours. It’s bizarre. Tesla is now the second-largest car company in the world behind only Toyota in market cap. The third-largest company, Volkswagen, sold THIRTY TIMES AS MANY cars last year as Tesla.
So, much of this price is all about investors’ giddiness about Tesla’s future. Is it the next Apple? Will people (now including me) keep being wrong about its eventual downturn and keep revising their conservative price estimates higher? It was funny: CNBC had a “Tesla bear” on this morning who put his bearish price target at $440, which is higher than what Tesla’s price was when this month/year began.
We’ll see. Me? I’m buying 5 shares of TSLA at some point today just to be back in the game.
Five Films: 2005
If the previous year was the equivalent of putting your hand under your armpit in gym class to make that farting sound, this year movies returned to the grownups. It was, in fact, a very good year.
- Grizzly Man: My favorite film of this millennium. Full stop. No movie has affected me as much. Timothy Treadwell was somewhat delusional, and yet he was also heroic. He understood the beauty and the miracle of nature and that it was worth everything to preserve it. Yes, he ultimately died. But who among us could ever have lasted as long as he did? The final minutes of Werner Herzog’s film, with the song “Coyotes”, is an elegy for the natural world. Heartbreaking. 2. Syriana: The problem with this film is that it may have been just a little bit too smart and a little bit too soon. I find myself thinking about scenes from it often, or quoting Matt Damon’s character. George Clooney’s least glamorous role and one of his top performances. Excellent. 3. Match Point: The darkest Woody Allen film out there is, I think, his best since Hannah And Her Sisters. Disturbing. Another excellent effort. 4. Cinderella Man: One of the all-time, If he fights again, I’m taking the kids to my sisters” films. 5. Cache: Brilliant French cinematic effort of lies and adultery.*
*In 2005 on a Saturday afternoon I was on the phone with our friend, Moose, who lived in L.A. She spoke of wanting to go see a film that night. I told her I’d read a glowing review in The New York Times about a film called Cache. I think they may have even written that it was the best film of the year. I told her that I was going to see it. So later that afternoon, I did. By the time I exited the theater in New York City, not quite knowing what I’d just seen but knowing full well I hadn’t liked any of it, Moose had already entered the theater in L.A. There was no way to warn her. It was 2005. I don’t even think I had a cellphone yet. Anyway, I sat at home waiting for the holy hell that would soon visit me in the form of Moose’s phone call. And it did.
She has never let me forget it. And so I have to fight back. Whenever talk of a movie arises, I’ll say something like, “Well, it’s no Cache.” Two years ago, for her birthday, I bought her the Cache film poster.
So the real No. 5 is Brokeback Mountain. Which, agreed, is no Cache.