Ten games, broken down as succinctly as possible…with thanks for the idea to our friend Sorp, an attorney who holds a couple of patents but not a patent attorney. Sorp recommends you buy his book, “Why You Should Not Go To Law School.” He also recommends that you not go to law school.
Miami (1-0) at No. 21 Kansas State (1-0)
Tagline: Wildcats strike!
Spread: Wildcats minus-7
Studs: Miami RB Duke Johnson; Kansas State QB Collin Klein
NCAA Rankings: Canes, 99th in Total Defense (542 ypg); Cats, 7th in Rushing Offense (324 ypg)
Pathos: Wildcats won at Miami in third game of last season, 28-24, en route to 7-0 start.
Tailgate Trivia: From a W or L perspective, the Canes’ 2011 season was palindromic.
Air Force (1-0) at No. 19 Michigan (0-1)
3:30 p.m., ABC/ESPN2
Tagline: Go Blue meets Wild Blue Yonder
Spread: Wolverines minus-21
Studs: Air Force RB Cody Getz; UM safety Jordan Kovacs
NCAA Rankings: Falcons, 1st in Rushing Offense (484 ypg); Wolverines, 93rd in Rushing Defense (232 ypg)
Pathos: Appalachian State, Utah and Toledo have all won at the Big House in the past five seasons. Will the Wolverines still be licking their wounds from last weekend’s beating by Bama?
Tailgate Trivia: Air Force has a 19-game losing streak versus opponents ranked in the AP poll; Getz rushed for 218 yards and three TDs in his first start last week.
Purdue (1-0) at No. 22 Notre Dame (1-0)
3:30 p.m., NBC
Tagline: No Suspended Starting QBs
Spread: Fighting Irish minus-14
Studs: Boilermaker DT Kawann Short; Irish MLB Manti Te’o
NCAA Rankings: Purdue, last in turnovers (5); Notre Dame, T-4th in Turnover Margin (+3)
Pathos: Are the Irish really as good as the looked last weekend in Dublin? And just how long a leash does QB Everett Golson have if this game is close?
Tailgate Trivia: The Irish traveled 3,500 miles to play Navy, but will travel a total of 254 miles for their next six games.
No. 24 Florida (1-0) at Texas A&M (0-0)
3:30 p.m., ESPN
Tagline: Sumlin wild
Studs: Gators, Offensive bleepin’ coordinator Brent bleepin’ Pease; Aggies, RB Christine Michael
NCAA Rankings: Florida, 93rd in Passing Offense (145 ypg); A&M has yet to play.
Pathos: Welcome to the SEC, Aggies! Welcome to the Union, Gators (Florida has not played a regular-season game west of Baton Rouge or north of Lexington in 21 years).
Tailgate Trivia: Johnny Manziel will become the first freshman to start at quarterback in the season opener for the Aggies in 68 years.
Syracuse (0-1) vs. No. 2 USC (1-0)
3:30 p.m., Met Life Stadium, ABC/ESPN2
Tagline: Trojans take Manhattan (and East Rutherford)!
Spread: Trojans minus-26
Studs: Syracuse, QB Ryan Nassib; Trojans, Everybody (Okay, let’s go with WR Marqise Lee, LB Hayes Pullard, CB Nickell Robey)
NCAA Rankings: Orange, No. 1 in Passing Offense (470 ypg); Trojans, USC, No. 1 in Kickoff Returns (100 yards per…not that they’ll get many opportunities)
Pathos: Trojan QB Matt Barkley, the Heisman favorite, spends his 22nd birthday in the sports media capital of the country in preparation for his December return.
Tailgate Trivia: Syracuse has lost six straight.
Savannah State (0-1) at No. 6 Florida State (1-0)
6 p.m. ESPN3
Tagline: Little Big Horn never had a sequel
Spread: Seminoles minus-70.5 (yes, that’s correct)
Studs: Savannah State, head trainer Clint Brif; FSU WR/KR Rashad Greene, DE Bjoern Werner
NCAA Rankings: Tigers are last (in both FCS and FBS) in Scoring Defense (84 ppg); Noles, No. 1 in Sacks (6 pg)
Pathos: Say a prayer for the Tigers, who lost by 84 at Oklahoma State and for the second consecutive week find themselves on the wrong side of the largest point spread in college football history.
Tailgate Trivia: Savannah State will pocket $475,000 for this game. That may literally be blood money.
Washington (1-0) at No. 3 LSU (1-0)
7 p.m., ESPN
Tagline: Live Tigers at practice!
Spread: Tigers minus-24
Studs: U-Dub TE Austin Sefarian-Jenkins; LSU RBs trio of Kenny Hilliard, Alfred Blue and Michael Ford
NCAA Rankings: Huskies, 4th in Sacks ( 4 pg); Tigers, 10th in Rushing Offense (316 ypg).
Pathos: After a miserable opener, heralded Tiger DEs Barkevious Mingo and Sam Montgomery (no tackles last week) will look to put a whuppin’ on a U-Dub offense that lost its starting running back for the season last week and will start three sophomores on the offensive line.
Tailgate Trivia: LSU is 28-0 in non-conference games under Les Miles.
No. 16 Nebraska (1-0) at UCLA (1-0)
7:30 p.m., Fox
Tagline: Traditions collide
Spread: Huskers minus-6
Studs: Husker QB Taylor Martinez; Bruin RB Johnathan Franklin
NCAA Rankings: Huskers, 3rd in Passing Efficiency (212.49); Bruins, 3rd in Total Offense (646 ypg)
Pathos: Jim Mora makes his home debut as Bruin head coach after an impressive win at Rice (not exactly a “Punting is winning” entrance), while Husker QB Taylor Martinez returns home to his native SoCal.
Tailgate Trivia: Ten different Huskers caught a pass against Southern Miss last Saturday. There have been entire seasons of Husker football without that many players recording a catch.
Different game, but familiar sight: Franklin leaving defenders behind
No. 6 Georgia (1-0) at Missouri (1-0)
7:45 p.m., ESPN2
Tagline: Show Me Old Man Football
Spread: Dawgs minus-2
Studs: Dawg QB Aaron Murray; Tiger WR Dorial Green-Beckham
NCAA Rankings: Georgia, 77th in Rushing Defense (199.0 ypg); Mizzou, No. 2 in Turnover Margin (+ 4 pg)
Pathos: Mizzou makes its SEC debut against the SEC East champion Bulldogs.
Tailgate Trivia: The two schools last met in the 1960 Orange Bowl, with the Dawgs winning 14-0.
Come back, Shayne! “Okay.”
Duke (1-0) at No. 25 Stanford (1-0)
Tagline: The GMAT Bowl
Spread: Cardinal minus-15
Studs: Blue Devil WR Connor Vernon; Cardinal LB Shayne Skov, who returns after a year of injury and a one-game suspension.
NCAA Rankings: Blue Devils, 100th in Pass Defense (348 ypg); Cardinal, 100th in Passing Offense (125 ypg)
Pathos: The Cardinal looked shaky in a three-point win versus San Jose State last Saturday, but luck (if not Luck) was on their side. The return of Skov will provide renewed vigor.
Tailgate Trivia: Duke’s last road win versus a ranked opponent took place 41 years ago… at Stanford.