by John Walters
1. “Mullah Omar, MH 370….”
“Things that disappeared more than a year ago and were discovered yesterday!”
A piece of wing debris was found yesterday washed up on Reunion Island, which is an island off the coast of Madagascar, which is an island off the coast of Africa, which is– “gotta take some time do the things we never had…”
Anyway, investigators suspect it could be from Flight MH370, which disappeared in March of 2014 with 239 humans aboard. None of them, presumably, were Taliban leader Mullah Omar, who appears to have died in 2013.
2. Oh, no, no Bo
Yesterday SI.now put out a fantastic gallery of the best college football players of all time by number, and I knew it was legit the moment I opened it up and No. 1 was Anthony Carter of Michigan. He’s pre-ESPN (actually, played right at the advent of ESPN, 1979-82), pre-web, but Carter was an unstoppable college wideout who left school as the Wolverines’ all-time leading receiver.
Difficult omissions? Bo Jackson is the toughest, but I agree with Herschel Walker as the best 34. He may be the best college football player I ever saw. Billy Sims was also an electrifying tailback, but no one is displacing Earl Campbell at 20. Matt Leinart got the nod at No. 11, and he was an outstanding college QB, but sentimentally I wanted to see that number go to another lefty, Boise State’s Kellen Moore, who finished his career with a 50-3 record.
3. How It Began
If you like Seinfeld (the show, the comic, yada yada yada), here are two treats I came across. First, this one-hour documentary on how the show started first came out in 2004, but I’d never seen or heard about it ’til Tuesday (hush, hush). It’s engrossing, and shows that the alchemy that made it work was the good cop/bad cop roles that Jerry and Larry David played with the NBC brass.
Second, this is from the opening season of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. It’s Jerry hanging out with Carl Reiner and Mel Brooks at Reiner’s home. There’s no one like Mel Brooks.
4. Teaching Center
This is just brilliant from Key & Peele, if you have yet to see it. “She was traded for a head librarian and two lunch ladies to be named later.” Obviously, a salary dump. I want to live on this planet.
5. Like a Rolling Stone: How Does It Feel?
Today the film The End of the Tour premieres (I’ve seen it; it’s very good not great). It centers around Rolling Stone writer David Lipsky tailing David Foster Wallace on the last five days of his book tour. The irony, and not mentioned in the film: the story never ran in RS.
Today, also, RS managing editor Will Dana announced that he is leaving. Or, being pushed out after the UVA rape story scandal (it was fiction), for which the mag is now being sued. Or was it because they put Kim Kardashian on the cover.
In all moments such as these, I always ask myself the same question: “What would Ben Fong-Torres do?”
Mr. Blue Sky
Perhaps if lead singer Jeff Lynne did not look so much like a Muppet, ELO (The Electric Light Orchestra) would have been even more popular. In many ways they were every bit as creative and inventive as Pink Floyd or Queen, but they never hit that top rung. They were more in that Blue Oyster Cult and Supertramp class. Hey, they’re all very rich. Who am I to say?
Who needs “Remote Patrol” when summer television is this awful? I miss you, Roger Sterling! Here’s The Boys in the Boat, which everyone seems to love and which will be a big movie someday soon.