by John Walters

A Medium Happy 88th to Gordie Howe….

Starting Five

Kobe: 2 points in 9 minutes on 1 of 7 shooting.

That’s A Wrap?

The Lakers beat the Heat, 102-100, in overtime in L.A.

Lamar Odom showed up.

Kobe scored 2 points, then was taken out with “general soreness” (It only gets worse, Kobe; trust me).

I don’t know if any of the Lakers slapped hands with D’Angelo Russell after he shot a free throw.

Kobe Watch: 33,464 points in 1,339 games for a career scoring average of 24.99 points per game.

2. TCOB (And Working Overtime)

The angle looks off here, but the shot went in

In other NBA overtime news, the Dubs needed it in Salt Lake City before taking down the All That Jazz, 103-96. Klay Thompson missed a three-pointer with less than :25 to play and the Warriors trailing 89-86, but GSW got the offensive rebound, kicked it right back out to Klay, and he buried it with :21 to play to force overtime.

Golden State is 68-7 and the Spurs, who still have two games against them, will probably be resting their starters. GSW could very well face Utah in the first round.

3. “Hero Mate” and His Mate

The man on the right saved Brett Connellan’s life, and the woman on the left is like, just another sheila in New South Wales

Sure, you’ll want to read here about how 22 year-old pro surfer Brett Connellan was mauled by a shark at Bombo Beach (Why do Aussies have such wonderful names for beaches?) and lost much of his left thigh, but stick around for the video as the man on the right, “Joel,” is captioned as his “hero mate.” And that’s Joel’s girlfriend, Agie, an intensive care nurse. I mean, who needs to “build a wall” (and Mexico’s gonna pay for it) when we should all just move to Australia and hang out at places named Bombo Beach, where everyone looks like Jude Law or Naomi Watts ?

Connellan may be retiring this board

Connellan, from his IC bed, issued a statement pleading that this incident not lead to any reckless shark hunts. He’s a good man.

4. You’ve Got (More) Male

Berube played on the 1995 UConn team that went 35-0 and won the national championship, kickstarting the modern era of women’s college hoops

Yesterday in Newsweek we ran this piece I wrote on how this week, for the first time since they began staging a national championship in women’s hoops in 1972, all four head coaches will be male: Geno Auriemma of Connecticut, Scott Rueck of Oregon State, Mike Neighbors of Washington and Quentin Hillsman of Syracuse.

Then I dug further. The Division II national championship, which will also take place in Indianapolis (3 p.m., Monday) features our old friends Alaska Anchorage, coached by Anchorage native Ryan McCarthy, versus Lubbock Christian, coached by Steve Gomez (who apparently survived that shootout in Tohajiilee).

The Division III national title game, also in Indy (6 p.m., Monday) features Thomas More, coached by Jeff Hans, versus Tufts, which will have the lone female coach in a women’s championship game this year: Carla Berube. Her college coach? Geno Auriemma.

5. Death in Kolkata*

At least 14 dead, more to come

In the Indian city of Kolkata (formerly Calcutta), one of the most populous in the world, an overpass collapses above a street, trapping dozens. They are not big on inspections in India.

Music 101

Over My Head (Cable Car)

When Denver-based band The Fray released this song in late 2005 off their debut album, it became the fifth-most digitally downloaded tune of the year, selling more than 2 million copies. It lost the Grammy for Best Pop Performance the following year to “My Humps” (what a time to be alive).

Remote Patrol

Jimmy Kimmel Live

11:35 p.m. ABC

This happened once….

Not much worthy fare on tonight, but one of the world’s greatest guests, Bill Murray, will be making an appearance. Also, on Conan (11 p.m., TBS), the ENTIRE cast of Batman vs. Superman (like, the top 5 billed names) will be appearing. Is that the acrid scent of desperation you smell?




by John Walters

A Medium Happy 86th to Gomez himself, John Astin, whose ex-wife, Patty Duke, passed away yesterday. And yes, one of their sons is “Rudy” (Sean Astin)

Starting Five

How much trouble are you in with your teammates? No, a lot more than that, D’?

1. Sex, Losses and Videotape

D’Angelo Russell is 19 and he’s also the No. 2 pick in last June’s NBA draft. Plays for the 15-59 LOLakers. Recently, Russell secretly taped 30 year-old teammate Nick Young—we all know and love him as “Swaggy P”—as he cajoled Young, who is engaged to Iggy Azalea, into talking about his extracurricular activities.

The tape got put onto the internet. Now all of the Lakers are running isolation plays on Young.

It’s funny, because Gary Vitti has for 29 years handled all of the Lakers’ taping.

I like that this is happening. It’s like the Lakers’ own goodbye present to Kobe, one final reminder of how crazy life in the NBA could be. Oh, and can you imagine what life would be like for Russell if he had made Kobe-in-his-prime the target of his ill-considered prank?

And can you imagine if Russell had done this to Matt Barnes? It would be total TEMECULA!

2. Town Hell

Milwaukee. No candidate had a good answer for why the Schottz Brewery closed down.

Confession: The GOP Town Hall is, at this point of the race, far more entertaining than another debate. We’re over the bickering and the “I have a big weiner” boasts. This is more like Perma-Frost/Nixon, especially with White Walker Anderson Cooper handling the chores. Top quotes from last night:

“My view on welfare is that it should be a trampoline, not a hammock.” — Ted Cruz

“Security, security and security.” — Donald Trump, asked to name the three top functions of government.

“When I let Washington (as a U.S. Senator, at the end of the Clinton administration), there was a $5 trillion surplus. And guess who spent it? The Republicans.” –John Kasich (he really doesn’t understand how this game works, does he?)

“I didn’t start it!” — Trump “With all due respect, that’s the argument of a five year-old.” –Cooper

3. Blessed Are The Shotmakers

Blessed? Aw, hell no.

I know my former colleague Seth Davis, a Duke alum, well enough to understand just how much he loves college basketball. He is living his dream life. He gets to write about college basketball for the magazine of his youth, Sports Illustrated. He gets to opine about college basketball on national TV alongside giants, both literal and figurative, of past NCAA tournaments. He gets to go to the Final Four, stay in nice hotels and occupy a grand stage during the tournament.

If you told 22 year-old Seth Davis he’d be doing this, he’d gladly do it for free. But he’s not doing it for free. He’s beyond BLESSED to be doing this, but he’s not doing it for free. Or for a scholarship and room and board. No sir.

Will I be double-blocked on Twitter for running this item?

I don’t disagree that these players have a good situation, and I think it’ll take another team such as 1990 UNLV (a team that is a repeat champion would be a higher probability) to stage a strike. I’m just curious that a person who earns high six figures talking and writing about college hoops has the nerve to tell players how blessed they are without even, in a cursory manner, noting the irony of the fact that he’s earning a large sum off this event without ever once having suited up.

4. It’s Garry Shandling’s Court

I”m not going to identify every one in this photo, okay?

I love this. Garry Shandling staged a weekly Sunday afternoon hoops game at his home (three on three, up to 7, win by 2), so last Sunday a few of his friends, including Sarah Silverman and Judd Apatow (both noted fans of Easter Sunday), staged a final game in his honor.

Silverman shared a photo of herself and Shandling playing

Hoping it never happens, but at SI our Garry Shandling would be Jack McCallum, who annually staged a golf tourney at his house. He was the mentor to a bunch of young writers, many of whom you now know well. Like Shandling, Jack is brilliant and funny but is just as well-known for how much he made SI feel like a family.

5. Bloom’s Day

Happened upon this last night. Rachel Bloom, star of “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend,” explains to host Stephen Colbert how “Anything Can Be a Musical.”


As someone noted, “Michael Stipe has embraced his inner craft-beer brewer.” The former REM lead singer pays tribute to David Bowie on Jimmy Fallon.


Did Molly Huddle cheat? Well, um, this is not at all sportsmanlike. From the March 20 NYC Half Marathon (I think I finished fourth). Go to :35

At least she’s learned something from last August in Beijing:

Music 101

Falling From The Sky

This is a 2013 tune from Calexico, a two-man band from Tucson, Arizona. This is what happens when you put me in a car for two hours and allow me to tune in to listener-supported WFUV.

Remote Patrol

Texas Western vs. Kentucky

7:30 p.m. ESPN

The night they drove ol’ Dixie down….

The WWL has stepped back from the authenticity of the game footage claim, but it still should be fun to watch how much simpler college hoops was 50 years ago. And notice how players don’t palm the basketball or, ahem, Eurostep (because that’s traveling). Memo to Clay Travis: take the Miners and the points.

p.s. I had the honor of fact-checking a wonderful Curry Kirkpatrick bonus piece (you’d call it a longform) on this game when I was a wee lad of 24. It’s a fine complement to your viewing. I miss Curry’s type of style in SI. Dearly.


by John Walters

A Medium Happy 61st to the Tyler Rose himself, Earl Campbell…

and we’re going to put this birthday greeting to Elle MacPherson down under his…

For a few years, she turned the swimsuit issue into Sports Elle-ustrated..


Starting Five

Hillsman is taking Syracuse to the Women’s Final Four. I’m checking on whether he’s the first male African-American coach to do so.

Male-Order Final Four

For the first time in its history, the Women’s Final Four will have four male head coaches (Is there be a Title IX, Coaches’ Edition in the offing?). Geno Auriemma, Connecticut, was a given.

But this March the three other heavily favored No. 1 seeds were all toppled (and now they are bottomled?): Notre Dame (by Stanford, Sweet 16), South Carolina (by Syracuse, Sweet 16) and Baylor (by Oregon State, Elite Eight).

The WBCA blames Geno for this….

Your Final Four is a refreshing new crop of foes– Washington, with nation’s leading scorer Kelsey Plum, Syracuse, Oregon State and UConn. The four coaches are Mike Neighbors (U-Dub), Quentin Hillsman (Syracuse), Scott Rueck (Oregon State), and of course, Geno.

Fifteen years ago I wrote this piece in SI about how male coaches in women’s hoops were always placed in the same bracket so that no more than one would make the Final Four. As our politicians are loathe to accept, the more you try to bury a movement, the more resilient it often becomes.

2. Hack-a-Phone

Meet the FBI’s new technical consultant

So basically the FBI is an eight year-old boy who can’t find his baseball glove. So he cries, “Mom, I lost my baseball glove! Can you find it for me?!?”

And Apple is that good mom who looks up from baking her apple pie (what other type of pie would you expect her to bake???) and says, “Keep looking, honey!”

And the FBI whines. And stomps his feet. And declares he’s quitting baseball.

And Apple just keeps chopping up apples and making a glaze.

And then FINALLY the FBI enlists someone else to help and finds his glove. But who did the FBI get to help it? Neo, of course.

3. “I Want Some, Too!”

Fandango + Animal House by the guy who made Dazed & Confused

Looking forward, very forward, possibly even Fast Forward, to Richard Linklater’s Everybody Wants Some (title taken from this kick-ass Van Halen song), which opens Friday. It’s about a college baseball team in the early 1980s (Linklater played two years of college baseball) and that era is in this writer’s wheelhouse. Also, it’s got to be more entertaining than Boyhood.

Trailer here….

Rotten Tomatoes rating? 95%. Variety’s review, highly recommended.

Fandango: See this before you graduate college (it may just mess you up for life)

Last thought: One of my favorite films is Fandango, a coming of age film set in Texas that was made at about the time this film was set. That movie, starring unknowns Kevin Costner and Judd Nelson (and Suzy Amis), was set about 12 years earlier. I’m 1,000% percent positive that a Texas teen of that era like Linklater saw Fandango and was influenced by it. I’d recommend watching Fandango first, if you are able, to see if there are any nods to it here. And yes, as you remember, Linklater already did Dazed & Confused, which is set about seven years earlier (and note, one of our favorite characters was an eighth-grade baseball player).

4. Loss Angeles

Utah gifts Kobe a free pass to all the national parks as well as the worst loss of his career.

The Lakers lost by 48, tying a team record, at Utah (123-75).
Kobe Bryant shot 1 of 11 from the field, had a minus-44, and finished with 5 points.
Kobe did leave with some lovely parting gifts, though, as the Jazz bequeathed the exiting Hall of Famer and his family with a 10-year pass to all of the national parks. This is the part where I joke about Kobe visiting the Grand Canyon because at least he could throw one in there.

Kobe lifetime scoring average watch: Currently at 25.0089 ppg.

Kobe will need to score 188 points in LOLakers’ final eight games to maintain an above-25.0 ppg career scoring average, i.e., he’ll need to average 23.50 ppg to do so.

5. Hinky Dinky Gal

The first Hinky Dinky opened in….Omaha (True)

In last night’s Better Call Saul, our heroine, Kim Wexler, tells a prospective employer that she comes from “a little town near the Kansas-Nebraska border” and that had she remained there, she’d probably be a cashier “at the Hinky Dinky.”

“The devil is in the details,” co-creator (of the show, not of Hinky Dinky) Peter Gould told me last week, and this is a prime example. In many shows, they’d have the character say something generic, such as “at the local supermarket,” but on BCS, they care. So they found an actual no-longer operational food & drug chain, which actually launched in Omaha, where Jimmy McGill is eventually headed.

So, yeah, the Kansas City Royals shirt, Saul Goodman’s last retreat, Omaha, and now this reveal from Wexler as to her hometown. Maybe there is bruised and battered hope for these two yet?

Meanwhile, again, because we, too, care about attention to detail (don’t allow the daily spelling errors on this blog to fool you), young Jimmy McGill was peeping at Playboy in the late summer of 1973. We checked. That’s Cyndi Wood on the August ’73 cover.

This one the “Creative Use of Limbs” prize at the 1974 ASME awards

One minor complaint with last night’s episode: Jimmy suggests to Kim that they head to Whataburger to celebrate her decision to go into business for herself. It’s a fine choice and all, but if you live in Albuquerque you’re headed to Blake’s Lotaburger.

Try the green chile burger! Yum!

Music 101

Ball of Confusion (That’s What The World Is Today)

TURN IT UP!!!!!!! If there were a March Madness bracket for kick-ass tunes, this 1970 wakeup call by The Temptations would be a top seed. The song reached No. 3 on the pop charts, and I don’t believe it’s ever been used on the soundtrack of a major motion picture, which blows my gray matter. It’s the perfect opening tune for a movie. Also, that opening bass line….did Death Cab For Cutie lift that for their 2008 tune, “I Will Possess Your Heart?”

Alas, the lyrics are not at all outdated 46 years on…And the beat goes on

Remote Patrol

Wizards at Warriors

10:30 p.m. TNT

Yes, this is the 2nd day in a row we’ve featured a middle-aged white dude dressed like a pimp in this space….

First of all, sure, there’s the Must-Win Guatemala-USA World Cup qualifier from Columbus, Ohio, at 8 p.m. on ESPN2. And there’s drama there. But why would any sports fan miss a chance to watch the Dubs as they chase 73 in the final two-plus weeks of the season? Plus, your sideline reporter tonight is Craig Sager. And let’s savor these moments.



by John Walters

A Medium Happy 30th to Joanne Germanotta, a.k.a. Lady Gaga

Starting Five

Tyler Lydon: As easy as one-shoe three! This was Syracuse’s only three-pointer of the first half.

  1. reSUrrection

The lads in orange from Syracuse trailed No. 1 seed Virginia 35-21 at the half. They trailed by even more, 54-39, with 9:33 to play after London Perrantes (he’s from Los Angeles, you know) buried his sixth three of the game.

How did you blow a 15-point second half lead in the game’s final 10 minutes, Virginia? THAT’S your answer?

Then it was all SU, “back from the dead” on Easter Sunday, as Kevin Harlan said. The Orange went into a full-court press and the Cavs began pressing. Syracuse went on a 25-4 run and wound up shushing all the doubters who didn’t even believe they belonged in the tourney.

Demetrius Jackson scored 26 in what was possibly his final game for the Irish. The Mishawaka native played his bravest game as a collegian, and the Irish actually led 52-51 midway through the second half.

Your men’s Final Four: Syracuse and North Carolina, Villanova and Oklahoma. The Syracuse women have also already advanced tot the women’s Final Four, along with Washington and nation’s leading scorer Kelsey Plum, whose father is not a professor as far as we know.

2. Horror in Lahore

You really only need the first two words here.

On Easter Sunday, 72 dead, 29 of them children, as Christians are targeted celebrating at a park in Lahore, Pakistan. What is wrong with these people? And will CNN/MSNBC/FOX cover this even one-fifth as much as Brussels? Also, does humanity appreciate the inherent foolishness of arguing over whose monkey-god is supreme? We’re all dead in the end, folks. Whoever you think is responsible for your creation really doesn’t care any more about you than anyone else. That’s the fact, Jack!

3. Gooooooooooooal! of the Year

This is South Africa in yellow, and Cameroon in green. And that’s Hlompho Kekaha (which, if you saw The Lion King, you know means “No worries”) scoring from his own end after firing what Dr. Evil would refer to as “a laser.” Kekaha’s goal evened the score in this African Cup of Nations qualifier.

4. Abrupt Eruption

Thar she blows (this is an acceptable time to use “thar”)

Let’s go now to our affiliate in the Aleutian Islands, the sting ray’s tail of Alaksa, where the Pavlof Volcano blew its top and spewed ash up to 20,000 feet skyward, If you were planning on spending Easter Break in the Aleutian Islands, call your travel agent. You may have to cancel.

5. Reedus and Weep?

Is Daryl dead? That’s what fans of The Walking Dead are wondering after last night’s penultimate episode of this season ended with Daryl (Norman Reeds) being shot in a classic example of double-crossing and crossbow aficionado. Of course, after the Glenn death-not-death, does anything really even matter on that show anymore?

Sepinwall is ready to break up with the show heading into next week’s 90-minute season finale.

Music 101

Fight Song/I Am Woman

So, I noticed on Friday that Rachel Platten’s girl power anthem of recent vintage has 160 MILLION views on YouTube. And, yes, it’s got a great chorus. It peaked at No. 6 on the Billboard charts last year.

And then I noticed that Helen Reddy, the progenitor (progenitress?) of the female power anthem, has less than 40 THOUSAND views for the original video for I Am Woman, one of the most influential songs of the 1970s. The Australian’s anthem hit No. 1 on the Billboard chart in December of 1972 and became the first tune by an Aussie artist to hit No. 1. It still sounds good.

Inspired by these girl power songs, I wrote a cat power song (but not a Cat Power song) titled “I Am Kitty.” Enjoy.

I Am Kitty

I am kitty, hear me roar,

Cuz that’s my tail caught in the door,

But I know just how to trip you on the stair,

You will treat me like a pet,

I’ll cost you thousands at the vet,

Every coat of yours is littered with my hair,

Oh yes, I am wild,

But I’ll just pretend I’m tame,

Yes, I’ll scratch your child,

And treat you with disdain,

If I have to, I can nap anywhere,

I am vile (vile!),

I’ll vomit on your rug (on your rug!),

I am Kitty!

Remote Patrol

Better Call Saul

10 p.m. AMC

Get ready for a splash of color this week….

Last week’s preview implies that this may finally be the week when Jimmy McGill goes rogue. The colorful suits suggest that perhaps he’s once again going into business for himself? Or will he and Kim hang up a shingle together? Listen, there’s no show on TV that  grooves between hilarious and deadly better. It’s, as you already know by now, my favorite show. Enjoy!



by John Walters

We’re OUT!

You Dummies! (use the Fred Sanford voice there)

Anyway, the house (me) realized yesterday that its best chance to win was for all of us to lose on the same day. So when the other remaining players, Bret Keyes and Sean Sullivan, took Kansas yesterday, joining me, I was all for Villanova! I’ll send you a percentage of the $100 I saved—after you go pro, of course—Daniel Ochefu.

It was a fun pool. We’ll do this again. I’m even toying with an MLB knockout pool to see how long that would last.

Thanks for playing. And just like life, nobody wins, ultimately.


Twenty-five or so peeps entered, three remain: Bret Keyes, Sean Sullivan and yours truly nolen.

Here’s whom each of us have picked through six rounds, from Day 1 through last night:

Bret Keyes: Duke, Villanova, Iowa State, Syracuse, Oregon, Virginia

Sean Sullivan: Miami, Villanova, Duke, Maryland, Oklahoma, Notre Dame

Moi: Miami, Oregon, Duke, Villanova, Oklahoma, Notre Dame

All of us have already taken Villanova, who are as hot as any team in the tourney

Bret (“Present!”) has previously selected two of today’s four teams. His choices are Kansas or Oklahoma.

Sean has also previously chosen two of today’s four teams: His options are Kansas or Oregon (“Look at the big brain on Sean!”).

I have painted myself into a corner by having already selected Oregon, Villanova and Oklahoma. My choice has been made for me: Rock, Chalk, Jayhawk!

I choose Kansas.


by John Walters

Hey Kids, shake it loose together: Elton John, here playing Dodger Stadium in 1975, turns 69.

Starting Five

Shandling was 66

1. Garry Shandling

It’s R.I.P. City this week (this year?) with the deaths of Ken Howard, soccer legend Johann Cruyff, Phife Dawg, Rob Ford, Joe Garagiola and of course, comedian Garry Shandling, who was 66 and suffered a massive heart attack yesterday.

Loved The Larry Sanders Show, a staple of Sunday night viewing on HBO in the mid-90s’. “No Flipping” is Garry’s trademark and Hank Kingsley’s  “Hey Now!” , especially, has long outlived the show (1992-1998).

A few clips from the life of Shandling, a University of Arizona graduate: His debut on The Tonight Show in 1981; A “What I’ve Learned” piece in Esquire; and an appearance earlier this year on “Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee.”

Shandling and Torn on The Larry Sanders Show

Shandling will best be remembered for how original The Larry Sanders Show was. While Fernwood 2 Night (Martin Mull as the host) broke the seal of the faux late night talks show, and Buffalo Bill (Dabney Coleman) did the lovable host/miserable creature in real life bit, his show took both ideas to a new level. Also, when you see celebrities lampooning themselves on shows such as Extras, that comes from TLSS. Also, actors such as Jeremy Piven and Janeane Garofalo and Bob Odenkirk got their starts there, while others such as Jeffrey Tambor and Rip Torn did some of their best work on that show.

Garry Shandling was the star of that show, but he let most of the supporting cast be the freaks and funny ones. Rip Torn was tremendous.

This, from Conan O’Brien, last night, is marvelous:


Sepinwall’s tribute. And here are 10 memorable Garry Shandling jokes.

2. A Whole Lotta Rose, See?

Everybody needs some time on their own/Everybody needs some time all alone (but Axl may have overdone it some)

Is it true? Is Axl Rose joining AC/DC? Whither Brian Johsnon? Whither Guns ‘n Roses show at Coachella? Whither people every using the word “whither” in everyday speech?

Anyway, Johnson has hearing problems (whereas Rose always had listening problems) and he has been scrapped for the Aussie band’s 10 remaining U.S. shows. It appears that AC/DC would use him for those shows and they’ll figure out how to work in Rose for the Coachella shows in April.

Apparently, AC/DC never saw the film “Rock Star”

What I don’t understand: Wasn’t Chris “Izzy” Cole available?

3. Chalk, Chalk, Jayhawk, etc.

Of course you should shoot it from there, Kris Jenkins (swish!). He had a team-high 21, along with Ryan Arcidiacono, who as an Italian-American, is probably my mom’s favorite remaining player in the tourney.

In the NCAA tournament, all four favorites won last night, and each by at least 14 points: Kansas and Villanova move on in the South, while Oklahoma and Oregon (OU versus UofO) move on in the West. Observation: No. 2 seed Villanova, the lowest-seeded 2-seed, is very, very dangerous, and currently shooting out the lights. The Canes shot 53% and still lost by 23.

4. Chalk, Chalk, Emory Students Need To Grow a Pair

Apparently the world’s oldest writing tool is now stoking hysterical fear in millennials.

“We are in pain,” one Emory student said at a rally/protest after someone chalked “Trump” on campus. Another, “I don’t deserve to feel afraid at my school.”

Listen, punk: there are SO MANY things that you don’t deserve, but “to feel afraid at my school” is not in the top 100. I’m sorry. I think we need a mandatory draft again. Maybe even a land war in southeastern Asia. Just how poor a job did these students’ parents do?

And, yeah, overreactions such as these incite overreactions to the opposite extreme that are part of the reason the name that was chalked is leading in the GOP race. Figure it out, kids.

5. Apologies: Domer Homer Item

Get rid of (Madison) Cable? Never. And that doesn’t make them Irish Settlers

So, both the Notre Dame men’s and women’s basketball teams play tonight in the NCAA tournament. The men have reached the Sweet 16 for the second straight season and the women are 33-1, their lone loss coming to No. 1 Connecticut (they’ll face Stanford tonight).

Also tonight, in men’s hockey, No. 2 Notre Dame faces No. 3 Michigan in the NCAA Midwest Regional.

Two weekends ago distance runner Molly Seidel won NCAA Indoor Championships in BOTH the 3,000 and 5,000, to tack onto last autumn’s NCAA Cross Country Championship. That’s THREE individual national titles in one academic year, which means that hopefully I will no longer mistakenly refer to her as Molly Huddle.

Seidel is a three-time national champion this year.

The women’s fencing team is ranked first in the nation. The men’s lacrosse team is ranked second in the nation.

The football team came two plays away from being 12-0 last season (before being crushed in the Fiesta Bowl by Ohio State).

Jack Swarbrick, a Notre Dame alum, can take a bow. He’s earned it.

Music 101


In the early 1970s, Elton John was the world’s biggest solo act, and deservedly so. He wrote an actual slew of classics, not all of which later were featured in films. This is one of my favorites. The song was released in 1971, off the “Madman Across The Water” album, and rose as high as No. 24 on the Billboard chart. Bernie Taupin, Elton’s muse and co-writer, has said that “Alvin Tostig” is a fictional character and that Levon is not taken from Levon Helm, the drummer for The Band (I don’t fully believe him).

Remote Patrol

March Madness

7:10 CBS

Iowa State-Virginia; Gonzaga-Syracuse

7:27 TBS

Wisconsin-Notre Dame; Indiana-Notre Dame

Malcolm Brogdon: Under-the-radar star….

Why are tonight’s two marquee games on TBS? Because Turner is hoping to wean you off CBS to prepare you for next weekend’s Final Four (and the following Monday night’s championship game) that will be aired on TBS. So that next Saturday someone in Little Rock isn’t screaming, “AGNES, WHERE’S MY FREAKING BASKETBALL GAME?!?!” I can see this curbing domestic violence by at least 40%. Related: domestic violence isn’t funny. Anyway, I like the Cavs, the Zags, the Irish and the Hoosiers tonight. Let’s just hope some game is closer than 14 points.



“I’m sorry, Jacob, the correct answer was ‘Villanova.’ We will have some lovely parting gifts for you, though: a year’s supply of Windex and a bound copy of ‘The Annotated Pressers of the Spokane Sub-Regional. Thank you for playing!

So, who’s left?

Kent Brown, Andy Roberts, Bret Keyes, Jordan B., Mark Stackow, Sean Sullivan, Brian Murphy, myself, and the one and only female in the group, AIR.

Me? On Good Friday? Notre Dame.

Jessica Rabbit: Also a knockout

May the odds be ever in your favor….


Here’s who remains and their last pick….

Beware of Daniel Ochefu

Jacob: Texas A&M

Mark Stackow: Maryland

Bret Keyes: Syracuse

Brian Murphy: Maryland

Kent Brown: Oregon

AIR: Notre Dame

Sean Sullivan: Maryland

Andy Roberts: Maryland

Jordan B.: Maryland

JW: Villanova

Tonight’s Games:





I’ve already taken Miami, Villanova, Duke and Oregon, so my selections are rather limited. And this may be a mistake, but I’m not ready to take Kansas yet. So I only have one game from which to choose, and I’m going with Buddy Hield and Oklahoma.


by John Walters

Our third straight 40th birthday in as many days. A Medium Happy 40th to Peyton Manning. Omaha!

Starting Five

The Aztecs, who are headed to Madison Square Garden for the NIT semis, finished 3rd in the nation in Scoring Defense

1. NIT-Ready-For-Prime-Time Players

Of the four schools that have advanced to the NIT semifinals—BYU, San Diego State, George Washington U. and Valparaiso—at least three of them belonged in the NCAAs. The Aztecs, for example, are 28-9 overall and 21-3 since losing to Kansas three days before Christmas.

The Committee tells mid majors to play tough opponents. Six of SDSU’s 9 losses are to teams that made the tourney, three of whom won at least one game. Valpo is 29-6 with a six-point loss at Oregon, a No. 1 seed. BYU is 11-3 since the end of January, with two of those losses coming to Gonzaga who, like Oregon, is still dancing.

The Selection Committee needs to take a cue from a group with which it should be familiar: admissions departments of prestigious colleges. The best admissions departments don’t simply take the students with the highest SATs, ACTs and/or GPAs. Those are strongly considered, but you also look for people with unique talents (maybe that dude who’s really good at balancing things, for instance?).

If the SelCom is so wedded to the idea that every conference tournament champ MUST have an automatic bid, why not be wedded to the idea that no conference may have more than five schools (we know the answer, of course: the Power 5 are like big oil and big banking)? If you watched Stephen F. Austin or Northern Iowa this weekend, you know how much more fun and exciting the tournament is with an inspired mid-major as opposed to a perfunctory Power 5 team (USC, Colorado, Vanderbilt, Michigan, Texas Tech, Pittsburgh etc.).

Monmouth, for example, finished 28-8 and beat USC and Notre Dame (something only Stanford football usually does in the same year). The Hawks were also as entertaining as anyone in Division I. When you get down to it, even in the most parity-filled years, there are no more than 16 schools with a realistic shot of winning it all. Why not fill out the other three-fourths of your tourney with deserving teams and overachievers? As it stands now, the SelCom is that stuffy admissions office that would rather accept the B-minus student from The Dalton School as opposed to the straight-A student from the inner-city, blackboard jungle school. How dead inside must you be to behave this way?

2. Delawhere Are You?

Last night the Philadelphis 76ers were one second and 40 or so feet away from achieving their 10th win of the season, which would give them one more victory than the worst team in NBA history (the 9-73 Sixers of ’72-73). Then Enmanuel Mudiay and this happened:

Also last night, Russ Smith, who plays for the Sixers’ D-League affiliate, the Delaware ’87ers, scored a D-League record 65 points. Smith, who helped lead Louisville to the 2013 NCAA title, only made one three-pointer, but was 24 of 42 from the field and 16 of 20 from the line. Smith is only 6’0″ tall, but still, you have to wonder the Sixers could use him for a few games.

Smith scored nine times his team’s name, plus two

3. It Keeps You Running

It’s not Dave’s first lap in the Caribbean…

The feeling is: If Dave’s happy, I’m happy. We owe him too much to ever want anything more for him than that he enjoys a good, pain-free jaunt. And it’s hardly his first in St. Bart’s….

When he was still a working stiff

4. First—and Last—Tango in Buenos Aires*

Is it too late for 44 to enter Dancing With the Stars?

POTUS and the missus are visiting Argentina, and they both got their groove on last night. This appeared to upset David Gergen and other CNN analysts, because he should be home moping about Brussels. There have been 84 days in the year so far and 57 terror attacks worldwide in which at least 10 people were killed, and how can we defeat ISIS if every time there’s a terrorist attack the prez is not home in the Oval Office mourning and/or worrying about what to do next?

Or maybe David Gergen and his ilk only care when there’s a terrorist attack in Europe. Terrorist attacks abroad: bad. Altering how you govern here as the LotFW, though, is sort of their goal. Why ever give in?

*The judges will also accept, “Whiskey, Tango and No Foxtrot,” as well as “Getting a Leg Up on the GOP”

5. Golden State Wins, FiveThirtyEight Drives Us Insane

The Golden State Warriors beat the Los Angeles Clippers last night, 114-98. There was much rejoicing and many Vines were created. Of course, now ESPN feels compelled to promote its boutique site, FiveThirtyEight, by running in the crawl the Dubs’ chances, in percentages, of finishing 73-9 (70%)or of finishing 72-10 (85%).

I’m sorry. I do not accept these numbers. I do not accept this soft science. I do not accept Nate Silver and I can’t believe ESPN employs someone who can suck more of the joy out of sports than Darren Rovell, but they do.

There is a 99% chance that this guy did not even try out for his high school basketball team

Dig: You can estimate the odds of a coin landing tails or heads (50%) because you can replicate the tossing of a coin thousands and thousand and thousands of times over (If you have time, go ahead and flip a coin 100 times; my guess is that it will land heads, at the very least, 47 times, and at the max 53). You cannot replicate what the Warriors are trying to accomplish more than once. There are so many variables and so may unique circumstances and when all is said and done, just how meaningless is that 70% number anyway.

Chuck Klosterman had it correct: Any random, unrepeatable (in terms of variables) event will either happen or it won’t. Those are your only two options. So it’s 50%. That may not make Nate Silver look like a genius, but it’s the truth. The Dubs will either win 73 games or they won’t. We’re never going down this road with the same players, at the same times in their careers, against the same competition, with the same health issues (How do you factor in Luke Walton’s contribution?) for all.

I’m not totally for or against advanced stats. I’m against people like Nate Silver believing that everything is quantifiable. It’s simply not.

Music 101

I Shot The Sheriff

The Legend himself, Bob Marley, wrote this tune in 1973 though you’d never know it to have listened to AM and FM radio in the mid-1970s. Eric Clapton’s cover of Marley’s song shot to No. 1 on the Billboard charts in 1974. I don’t know if Bob’s version ever even charted.

Remote Patrol

March Madness

7:10 p.m. CBS

7:37 p.m. TBS

Angel Rodriguez will represent The U

Miami and Villanova followed by Maryland and Kansas on CBS, representing the South. Oklahoma and Texas A&M followed by Duke and Oregon on TBS, representing the West.