by John Walters

Note: It’s now Saturday morning and I didn’t want to alienate (even more) people on Twitter with Kavanaugh takes. Bottom line here: Whether or not Kavanaugh is innocent in the Ford case, his behavior and his duplicity during Thursday afternoon’s hearing, for me, disqualifies him from a Supreme Court seat. The real character of the man was exposed, and what we saw was someone who is petty, vindictive and partisan. Even sinister. These are not the qualities we’d want in any judge, much less a Supreme Court justice.

Been thinking about Kerfuffle Kavanaugh a lot the past 24 hours. I’m sure much of it has to do with the fact that he’s a contemporary (one year older) of mine with a similar high school experience: Jesuit all-boys’ prep school, football player, straight-A student.

The similarities pretty much end there [he may be mildly more successful than I am 🙂 ]. But I can picture a plausible scenario at that house that summer. Lifted weights that afternoon, went over to a buddy’s house, and there was plenty of beer and no parents. My guess is someone may have snuck into the liquor cabinet. It takes an awful lot of beer to lose your mind, even at that age, but some hard liquor serves as propellent.

You’re 17. On top of the world. You’re in the best shape, or at least the greatest strength, of your life. You’re giddy. You’re drunk. Then there’s this pretty blonde. She’s probably wearing shorts. She has a nice tan. You’re not even thinking. YOU’RE NOT EVEN THINKING.

You want to show off. Or your buddy does. You’re in football mode. On the spur of the moment you tackle her like she’s an opposing player. Next thing you know the hormones kick in. Your friend can’t believe it, and he’s laughing. His laughter spurs you on. You’ve never even taken a moment to think of her as a person. You’re just too into who you are and how the world is yours for the taking: school, sports, your future…a girl.

The entire incident lasts what, a minute? Somehow she slipped away and you and your buddy were still drunk and giddy and, as you would say to a class of students more than three decades later, “What happens at Georgetown Prep stays at Georgetown Prep.”

And then, 36 years after this alleged incident, one or two minutes in an otherwise highly decorated life, this moment reintroduces itself. And threatens to torpedo your entire career. Your glory. Your reputation. You are shocked. You are furious. All those years of studying. Of climbing the ladder. And you’re going to make THIS TINY indiscretion the defining moment of my life?!?

Hell no!

I don’t empathize with Brett Kavanaugh. I don’t doubt he had other moments of over-imbibing and generally behaving like an ass, even if he did not go as far as Christine Blasey Ford alleged he did in their encounter (though for all we know, he may have gone further on another occasion with another female; we don’t know).

There’ s a certain portion of Republicans who do not believe Ford. Another portion who believe that something happened to her, but that it wasn’t Kavanaugh. There’s still another portion who ask, Who cares? What’s the big deal if he did do it? He didn’t actually rape her.

However they may feel, Brett Kavanaugh has no one but himself to blame. First, for what may have transpired at that gathering that summer afternoon/evening. Second, and this is a person with extensive courtroom experience, because his go-to defense was to deny the verity of the claim as opposed to throwing himself on the mercy of the court (which this writer espoused he do more than one week ago).

Had Kavanaugh simply—and honestly— said something along the lines of, “It may have happened, but I certainly do not remember it. I don’t recall every time I had beers with my friends in high school and I don’t remember this incident. I don’t remember this woman. But if I did do this, I am profoundly sorry. And I was 17. And I’ve lived a clean life my entire life as an adult. Judge me how you will…”

If Kavanaugh had said that, he may have still been voted on to the Supreme Court. But even if he wasn’t, I can tell you this: he’d still have his reputation. Which is not to excuse what he did, but to place it in the prism of how male teenagers, inebriated ones, are capable of behaving. Not that I condone it, at all, but I understand how all the conditions came together for that to happen.

Brett Kavanaugh, a man whom Donald Trump described the other day as being “a highly intellectual genius,” made a boneheaded tactical maneuver. And it may cost him everything.






by Chris Corbellini

Friday News Dump: Week 4 Picks

I won’t bury the lead. I swallowed an entire donut last week.

I went 0-4. (Editor’s Note: And you want to be my latex salesman…)

So, allow me to take one step back from the wreckage, survey the scene as it burns to embers and a fading glow, and talk about pride and stubbornness.

Week 3 flashback No. 1: This is a matchup between a Super Bowl-caliber defense and a rookie QB. Plus, Cousins is rolling. I won’t overthink this, even at -16.5.

You see, I often present myself as a humble soul, a friendly guy.

Flashback No. 2: That duo, and a hungry, talented defense should be enough for Chicago to win by a touchdown. Wait, did I write should? They *will* win by a touchdown.

But beneath that smiling, introverted exterior lies a football arrogance so incandescent and terrible it could be an energy source for the five boroughs for more than a century.

Flashback No. 3: I don’t believe the hype yet. Show me something special at home, Kansas City. Go home and get your f-cking shine box.

If I do my own research, I think I’m better than the experts. Before I even started this, I thought with work I could consistently beat the house. As if nobody has ever thought that before.

Flashback No. 4: I see Patricia matching Bill Belichick move-for-move for a half, but in the fourth, Brady will hit tight end Rob Gronkowski over and over, and Gronk will go full barbarian.

Sigh. Breath in. Exhale. OK.

My pride has gotten me into trouble more than a few times over my career, and betting on football games is not a growth industry for prideful people (or anyone, really). And yet stubbornness propels me forward, to make some alterations to my research and finally listen to the opinions of others. I’m still a newbie at this. I’m like a workaholic who gave himself a heart attack, survived it, and then chased his new goal of improving his health and diet with the same zeal. We’ll see. Onward.

As always, William Hill odds. Home team in caps.

Eagles (-3.5) over TITANS

Even Ashlon looks a little dubious about Chris’ Picks this week….

The potential return of receiver Alshon Jeffery could add the “F-ck, he’s tall!” playground dimension to an already-talented Eagles offense, even if it’s just as a decoy (Jeffery has that shoulder issue and is also dealing with a “virus”). With Jeffery or without him though, I’m reminded of something a former player for Eagles coach Doug Pederson told me last January: “If it can be invented on offense, Coach Pederson will invent it.” I do expect some creativity against the Titans D, a unit that statistically has shown they can be beat by a No. 1 receiver.

Seahawks (-3.5) over CARDINALS

Look out for Josh RosenRosen

The right side of Seattle’s offensive line has been average at best, and on defense, cornerback Tre Flowers is not exactly Deion Sanders 2.0. So, sure, the Cardinals should probably attack Flowers whenever he’s matched up against Larry Fitzgerald, and hope the defense will have enough oomph against that Seahawks line. Arizona begins the Josh Rosen Experience this week as well, and while I don’t have enough tape (or anything, really) to suggest which way that’ll go, I’ve seen enough of Russell Wilson to know this is a chicken salad game for him. He’ll Roger the Dodger his way down the field, and pepper in some short strikes, to pull off the road victory.

BRONCOS (+4.5) over Chiefs

Rookie Bradley Chubb

Man, that line is just about perfect, with a 55 O/U, the highest of the week. And I’d take the over. KC’s linebackers can’t cover a beached whale and Denver’s secondary is overrated. This game has a 34-31 final tattooed on it, with the Broncos covering and holding on for the win.

CHARGERS (10.5) over 49ers

Too handsome, too rich, too talented. Nobody out-Tom Brady’s Tom Brady, and he had to pay for it.

My injury pick. The 49ers will put up some token resistance on the road, but the emotional blow the team absorbed after losing quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo to a torn ACL last week will be a factor in the second half.  Which begs the question: Were the football gods offended that Jimmy GQ went on a date with a porn star? Did they Release the Kraken on poor, handsome Jimmy? I doubt it. If the football gods always punished the whiskey drinkers and carousers in pro football, then Joe Namath would have been decapitated in Super Bowl III.

Still, milk drinker and prodigious family man Philip Rivers should have another big fantasy day at home, and maybe the ghost of Antonio Gates will wind up in the end zone as well.

Last week: 0-4
Season: 3-8


by John Walters

Tweet Me Right

Starting Five

Grace And



Dr. Christine Blasey Ford went first. Controlled. Tremulous. Nervous. Collegial. Credible. Respectful. Helpful.

Then came Brett Kavanaugh. Unhinged. Defiant. Contemptuous. Self-righteous. Melodramatic. Combative.

She: pacific.

He: bellicose.

Forget about who’s the victim and who’s the suspect. Who’s the accuser and who’s the accused. Who’s a private citizen in California and who’s up for a seat on the Supreme Court. Which one of these two people seemed more emotionally intelligent? Who seemed to possess more sagacity?

2. Judge Not

Where was the alleged third person in the room, Mark Judge, yesterday? He was far, far away, holed up in a beach house in Maryland. It’s odd. Ford took a polygraph. She passed it. Kavanaugh had previously ruled that polygraphs are valid in a court of law. Kavanaugh refuses to take a polygraph.

Besides what that may tell you, let’s look at the third person in the room. He’s alive. He’s of sound mind and sound enough body. He could drive to the U.S. Capitol. Subpoena his ass. Bring him into that judiciary session. But they didn’t.

Why not? Because surely this conversation had already taken place. Judge had already decided that he would not perjure himself for Kavanaugh and that he did not want to tell the truth and see Kavanaugh’s Supreme Court opportunity go down in flames. That is, if you believe something happened.

If you believe nothing happened, then what is the harm of his testifying? It’s a fairly simple request.

Likewise, Democratic senator Dick Durbin bluntly asked Kavanaugh if he would support an FBI investigation into the matter. The judge simply stonewalled him. The look he gave Durbin is the same men give you when you ask them if they’d talk to their mothers or daughters that way.

There were so many ways to get closer to the truth on this issue, and at most it would’ve taken one more week. The Republicans were flatly unwilling to wait in their quest to get what they wanted. It’s as if they put their hand over the mouth of justice to keep her from being heard.

3. Risky Business

We’re one year younger than Brett Kavanaugh and we too went to a Jesuit prep school and played football. It was weird to hear him reference films such as Caddyshack, Animal House and Fast Times at Ridgemont High yesterday to explain away the “humor” in his high school yearbook. Those were influential films for teenage boys at the time, but it’s funny the films he chose not to reference that were just as influential, if not more: Risky Business and Porky’s.

We went back and re-read the opening scene from Risky Business, which is in fact a great movie. But listen to these young men, listen to the attitudes.



She said that?



What did you say?



I didn't have to say anything.



What did you do?



What do you think I did?



I think you got the hell out of there,

ran home and whacked off!



I disagree.



Did you have your bike there?



I think you jumped on your bike,

pedaled home and whacked off!



That's what you think, right?



With Kessler sitting on the floor like that,

wanting me?



No guts, Goodson.



The problem was I just wasn't attracted

to her.



That should never stop you.



She seemed too big.



It could've worked out.



I thought I'd get into trouble.



Sometimes you have to say,

"What the fuck!" Make your move!



That's easy for you to say.



You're all set.

You're probably going to Harvard.



Me, I don't want to make a mistake,

jeopardize my future!



Joel, let me tell you something.



Every now and then, say, "What the fuck."



"What the fuck," gives you freedom.



Freedom brings opportunity.



Opportunity makes your future.

Sound familiar?

4. The Calendar

July 1: “Tobin’s house workout—Go to Timmy’s for ‘skis’ with Judge, Tom, PJ, Bernie, Squi”

Is that something? Are ‘skis’ brewskis? Beers? What else could they be? Waterskiing? There’s Mark Judge. There’s PJ (Smyth). There’s two of the people who were supposedly in the house by Ford’s account. By the way, this wasn’t a PARTY. This was, in the terms kids refer to it today, was pre-gaming. The party before you head out to a party. Anyway…

If you read the exchange between Kavanaugh and the GOP’s self-appointed female proxy, Rachel Mitchell, yesterday, you’ll see that she comes to this date. She has Kavanaugh identify the names. But then, abruptly, she stops. Never asks him why this might not possibly be the date in question. Never asks him if there were any girls at this gathering. Etc.

It was right after this exchange, when Mitchell (again, the GOP’s hired gun) apparently found the date that tied Kavanaugh, Judge and P.J. together (plus the guy Ford was seeing at the time, “Squi”, which would explain why she’d be at the house), and when Kavanaugh for some reason I’ll never understand provided first and last names for all, that Senator Lindsey Graham went postal. We never heard from Mitchell again.

5. Female Moments

There’s so much more to be said about yesterday’s proceedings, but let’s leave you with a few female moments yesterday.

Ford: “Indelible in the hippocampus is the laughter, the uproarious laughter, at my expense.”

Ford: “One hundred percent,” when asked what degree of certainty she had that it was Judge and Kavanaugh in that room.

And then this exchange between Kavanaugh and Senator Amy Kobuchar of Minnesota:

It’s funny. This is how Kavanaugh treats a female who challenges him when he’s sober.

Yesterday was a sad and shameful day in American history. As will be today, when the judiciary committee approves him.

And let’s not forget: The GOP Senate waited more than 120 days after Anton Scalia died, running out the clock on the Obama presidency when he nominated Merrick Garland for the Supreme Court. Let’s also not forget that the Democrats made no such effort to block another Trump pick, Neil Gorsuch, when he was nominated for the Supreme Court. In other words, the suggestion that Democrats are just trying to get revenge on the Trumpers, as Kavanaugh put forth, is baseless because he’s not even the first Trump nominee.

This accusation against Kavanaugh has nothing to do with him being a Trump pick (since he’s not the first). It has everything to do with what Kavanaugh allegedly did. And there was nothing in Kavanaugh’s behavior yesterday to suggest to me that he is not the type of man who would’ve done exactly what 17 year-old Brett did. He’s belligerent, entitled and duplicitous.

A man not qualified to judge, much less practice law.



by John Walters

Tweet Me Right

One of the few things Mr. Trump said yesterday with which we agree is that women are smarter than men (actually, he said he’s always said that). They’re also more nurturing, more patient and far more credible. Men are better tippers, though (just saying). There’s hearsay and there’s her say, and rarely do the two overlap.

Starting Five

Deface The Nation

President Donald Trump, feeling frisky on his home turf, held a bizarro press conference in New York City late Wednesday afternoon. We’ll just play the hits:

–“Yes, Mr. Kurd.”

–“They weren’t laughing at me. They were laughing with me.”

“He said [China] has total respect for Donald Trump and Donald Trump’s very larrrrrge….brain.”

“Not thousands- millions of people would have been killed. That could have been a world war. President Obama thought you had to go to war. You know how close he was to pressing the trigger.” 

On how he saved the world from war on the Korean peninsula.

–““Look, if we brought George Washington here and we said, ‘We have George Washington,’ the Democrats would vote against him…And he may have had a bad past, who knows, you know? He may have had some — I think — accusations made.”

As our pal Jamie Reidy said, “Wait’ll you see George Washington’s calendar.”

“Say ‘Thank you,’ President Trump.”

—On the impact of today’s hearing with Kavanaugh and Ford: “This is a very big moment for our country because you have a man who’s very outstanding, but he’s got very strong charges against him, probably charges that nobody’s going to be able to prove. It’s happened to me many times, where false statements are made.

“In this case, you’re guilty until proven innocent. I think that is a very, very dangerous standard.”

(You know, like if you were to shout “Lock her up!” every time an innocent woman’s name was uttered)

—”You know what Elton John said about encores…”

2. Is Brooks Back?

Five years after vanishing without giving notice, proto-blogger extraordinaire Sports By Brooks reappears with one cryptic tweet referencing a wonderful moment from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

What’s next? Who knows?

3. Great White (Male) Wail

This segment on CNN, that ran after the Trump presser, is indicative of older wealthy white male rage. #TheWarOnMen Infamous Trump stooge Michael Caputo is more concerned about the futures of young boys who are accused of rape with “uncorroborated evidence” (news flash: most sexual assaults are not staged in the town square; most, but not all).

 Notice how frequently Caputo interrupts Powers (to be fair, she does note, probably accurately, that he’s a sexist and racist; he more than reveals himself to be a misogynist). Just as President Trump interrupted at least four female reporters as they tried to ask their questions earlier in the day. Just as MSNBC’s Chris Matthews interrupts his guests, more commonly his female ones.

It’s as if they all just want to put a hand over their mouths and turn the music up.

4. Dunkin Chic?

Yesterday America’s most popular donutery, Dunkin Donuts, officially declared that we should all get along on a first-name basis. “Just call us Dunkin’,” they said, and made it official.

Is this the most unctuous name change since Kaitlyn Jenner? Since P. Diddy? Since the Tampa Bay Rays? The Rock?

And how long before we’re just calling them “Double D.” or some other nickname that only serves to remind us of voluptuous pastries?

5. Emma’s Elk Run

Last year 2016 Olympic steeplechase bronze medalist Emma Coburn, one of our favorite people, did three things: won a world championship, got married, and along with her husband, Joe Bosshard, launched the Emma’s Elk Run 5-K in their home town of Crested Butte, Colo. “Joe said that of all the things we did in 2017,” Emma told us this morning, “that the Elk Run was his favorite.”

The Elk Run (named for the main street in town where it begins and ends) is a 5-K that will be staged this weekend in this Rocky Mountain haven, where the elevation (8,900-feet) greatly outnumbers the population (2,000). “There are three primary goals we had when we created this race,” Coburn said. “One, we wanted to be able to raise money for Living Journeys (a non-profit that provides care to cancer patients). Two, we wanted to create an event to give back to Crested Butte by bringing people here that will help local businesses. And three we wanted to create an event to support our other community, the elite running community.”

Course views don’t suck

Last year Emma and Joe capped the race at 500 entrants and had a goal of raising $10,000. They raised $19,000. This year the race is capped at 1,000 and they have a goal of $30,000.

As for  Crested Butte, which she refers to as “simply paradise,” the town is unflinchingly supportive. At the local movie theater Coburn’s major races are shown on the big screen and the newspaper chronicles her every race. “Everyone cares about you here,” she said, “no matter if you’re an Olympic athlete or not. That’s why I love my hometown.”

It’s an all-weekend event. There’s a Friday night pizza party at Brick Oven Pizza, where in high school Coburn worked as a hostess and busser before graduating to server. “I still like to go back into the kitchen and speak the lingo,” she said. ” ‘Eighty-six the peppers!'”

Then there’s the race on Saturday morning (Coburn’s parents’ garage is the unofficial storage space for all the swag bags, signs, etc. and her dad’s office doubles as the elite athlete lounge) followed by an ’80s cover band dance party. Coburn ran the 5-K last year but this year she plans on being its official ambassador, walking around and doing what needs to be done. One of Joe’s jobs is to wake up at 5 a.m. and mark the course.

We promised Coburn that we’re doing the race next year and we’re putting it down here so you hold us to it. And you’re invited, too. It’s already the second-best race in Colorado (in terms of drawing elite talent; this Saturday’s entrants include 3:51 miler Will Leer and Allie Kieffer, who placed fifth in the women’s division of the New York City Marathon last autumn) after the famed Boulder Boulder 10-K that is staged annually on Memorial Day.

Here’s what we love about Coburn: she’s literally in the prime of her career as the American record-holder in the steeple chase. And yet this week she was in Washington, D.C., to attend a conference about clean athletic performances and now she’s en route home to Colorado to stage a race in her hometown that will raise tens of thousands of dollars for cancer survivors. And in the midst of that she takes a moment to phone our humble blog and talk about it.

Emma Coburn and Joe Bosshard, and their family, are what it’s all about. If you want to visit a heavenly place, run a race and do something good for others, put Emma’s Elk Run on your to-do list. We have.

Music 101


We’ll never understand why this was the title track of Journey‘s most popular album, as the disc spawned four top 20 singles, plus another radio staple (“Stone In Love”), none of which were this tune. Still, we like it, and the band used it to open shows on their 1981 world tour. Plus, you get to see Steven Perry prancing all over the stage. No one pranced like he did. Count your blessings.

This tune would’ve been much more radio-friendly if it began at about the 2:40 mark. There are about four song component parts in it before that, with no dominant theme.

Remote Patrol

Kavanaugh V. Ford 

10 a.m. ABC CBS NBC CNN FOX News MSNBC (and probably PBS)

We like this photo because it shows where the president’s actual follicular fault line rests

The most important Supreme Court case of Brett Kavanaugh’s career, and he may never even have an opportunity to don the robe. Dr. Christine Blasey Ford is the plaintiff.


by John Walters

Tweet Me Right

Willingly saw Grease 2. Disqualifying.

Starting Five

“Take my wives…please”

Comic-con Man

Comic Strip Live. Stand Up New York. Gotham Comedy Club. Dangerfield’s. And now, the U.N. General Assembly joins the list of New York’s hottest hottest comedy clubs. We hear there was a two-nuke minimum for Donald Trump’s set Tuesday morning, which featured this killer riff early on:

In less than two years, my administration has accomplished more than almost any administration in the history of our country….”


“So true…”

How many times has Trump warned of previous presidents, “The world is laughing at us?” Yesterday, for the first time, he was correct.

Notice how he included “almost.”

Trump will be opening for Dane Cook next week at Penguin’s Comedy Club in Cedar Rapids…

2. Bryant’s Song

Bryant understandably feels bad, but the dude who beat him in last year’s national semi also got demoted, and sooner.

Two years ago Kelly Bryant was the understudy to Deshaun Watson as the latter led Clemson to the national championship. Last year he himself led the Tigers to a national semifinal loss to eventual champs Alabama. Two days ago Bryant learned that he’d lost his job to true freshman Trevor Lawrence.

Give Dabo Swinney some credit here. The demotion came after Clemson’s fourth game but before its fifth, which means that if Bryant, who started the Tigers’ first four games, does not take another snap this season he will not forfeit a year of eligibility. And because he’d be a graduate transfer, he could play in 2019 without sitting out a season.

Swinney gave Bryant Monday off, and then on Tuesday the senior was a no-show at practice.

Bryant’s headed out, the question is where. We’ll see how this affects the Tiger team mojo. And if for any reason Lawrence goes down, then what?

3.  Nailed It

We’re not in the habit of posting cute cat or kid videos, but this cherub performing The Star-Spangled Banner before an L.A. Galaxy contest last weekend nailed it. That’s seven year-old Malea Emma Tjandrawidjaja of Los Angeles, who won a local contest for the right to have that platform.

(Stick around for “Joe, your order’s ready, Joe”; Did Miley Cyrus ever have to put up with that?)

If you haven’t seen this yet, stick around to the end for the 3’9″ second-grader’s post-vocals  gesture. By the way, she’s been singing since age one, stole the show in a production of Annie at the Hollywood Bowl this summer, has covered Radiohead, and dreams of a duet with Christina Aguilera. We see this happening. And if the NFL hasn’t booked her for the Super Bowl yet, they’re idiots.

4. The Cosby Show

America’s Dad of the 1980s is going away for three to 10 years to jail and, yes, good riddance, Bill Cosby. Serial predator and rapist over the course of decades. And now just a sad old man. At least, from what we know about institutional living, they probably do serve lots of Jell-o pudding. So there’s that.

5. Can We Reset A Course For Adventure?

Murphy Brown is returning (yawn). So are reboots of Magnum, P.I. (there’s only one Tom Selleck) and The Rookie (I guess Castle really did want to join the force). Here inside the MH offices, which are exactly like The Ringer offices minuses the cool hipsters debating the finer points of Game Of Thrones and/or if they’ve yet been sexually harassed by Cousin Sal, we have a simple request and/or idea:

Bring back The Love Boat.

This makes too much sense. The reason the show worked then, and will now, is because it’s escapist romantic fare that also is the greatest landing zone for past-the-expiration date  Hollywood talent to get a gig. How much fun would it be to watch Charlie Sheen wooing Tiffani Amber-Thiesen? Or a love triangle featuring David Schwimmer, Scott Wolf and Pamela Anderson?

Besides, cruise ships are so much more pimped out these days. Sure, you’d have to bring in a new cast of ship’s crew, but that’s fine. Keep the Jack Jones theme song. It’s perfect. America would watch. We’d watch.

Make it happen. The Love Boat soon should be making another run…


Music 101

My Eyes Adored You

The perfect song for today’s confirmation hearings: My eyes adored you/Though I never laid a hand on you…. That’s Frankie Valli, the original Jersey Boy (another Frankie might contest that), on the mic. The song was written for he and his band, The Four Seasons, but Motown refused to release it. Valli bought the recording himself for $4,000. Then Capital and Atlantic Records both refused to release it (It’s not as if this was a group nobody’d heard of). Finally, a label called Private Stock Records agreed to release it (you couldn’t just put your song on iTunes back then), but only if it was released as a Franki Valli solo. So that’s what they did…

…and in March of 1975, the tune rocketed to No. 1 on the Billboard charts.

The lesson? F*ck the experts. What do they know?

Remote Patrol


The Amazing Adventures of Kavanaugh and Ford

10 a.m.-ish CNN Fox News MSNBC etc.

Watch a Maricopa County prosecutor, a female doing the job of a bunch of old male senators, put Dr. Christine Blasey Ford through their grope-a-dope strategy.


by John Walters

Tweet Me Right

Ed Grimley did, I must say.

Starting Five


The sniff test? I don’t like him.


He’s not a straight talker. He speaks like a politician, not like a judge. Brett and Ashley Kavanaugh went on Fox News last night and blah blah blah “I want a fair process” blah blah blah “I want a fair process” blah blah blah “I want a fair process.”

Don’t judges want due process?

First there was Dr. Ford (Georgetown Prep). Next came Deborah Ramirez (Yale). Then Michael Avenatti found someone. Then The New York Times found nasty yearbook references. By the time you read this there’ll probably be something else.

But here’s my gut: He’s not a straight talker (Someone nominate Herm Edwards to the SCOTUS and I’ll support that!). He’s a politician. Not a judge.

2. Monday Night Slapdown

If you’d ever wondered, Can you be posterized in football, the answer is yes. That’s Tampa Bay Buccaneer defensive back Chris Conte, who himself is 6’2″, getting double bitch-slapped (that’s probably not an appropriate term any more, is it?) by 6’4″ Pittsburgh Steeler tight end Vance McDonald en route to a 75-yard touchdown.

3. Citizen Crane*

*The judges will not accept “We Pick Booger”

How many minutes did it take for you on the season premiere of Monday Night Football to realize that Booger McFarland (above) was the superior MNF rookie to Jason Witten? Hell, even Brian Kelly and Dabo Swinney were sharp enough to flip-flop their No. 1 and 2 quarterbacks before the end of September—will ESPN bring Booger down from the crane and into the booth?

We noticed the former LSU defensive lineman during the opening week of Get Up! last April. He wasn’t even one of the three principal cast members but was by far the most engaging dude on the set. People like Booger. People relate to Booger. Booger is better. It’s just that simple.

4. Rule No. 7

Last night the Yankees, playing at Tampa Bay, finally test-drove the formula that the Rays have used with great success all season (and which we suggested in a Newsweek article two years ago). Namely, use multiple pitchers throughout the game, never pitching anyone more than two innings. So how did that work out?

–The Yanks won 4-1, with eight pitchers combining for a two-hitter and 13 strikeouts.

–The victory eliminated Tampa Bay from the postseason.

–Seven of the eight pitchers did not allow a hit. The only one who did was Sonny Gray, who was also the only one to allow a run and the only one who tossed two innings. Gray got the victory.

–Also, only one of the eight pitchers failed to get a strikeout. That pitcher was Dellin Betances, who entered the night having whiffed at least one batter in 44 straight appearances. The Major League record? 45 straight appearances.

Finally, from another game, “There’s no fighting in the bleachers.”

5. Sound of Silence

On Saturday night in Corona, Queens (where Rosie was queen), a short bicycle ride from the home in which he was raised, Paul Simon gave his final concert. Like, ever. The set list for the musical genius, who turns 77 next month, is included in this link, but know this: he finished with the song that is the headline of this item.

Bittersweet. The above video is so powerful for us because you’re watching one of the defining artists of the pop-and-rock era, a man who’s been recording iconic hits for more than half a century, literally strumming the final chord of his career.

In another decade or two all of our rock and roll legends will be silenced by the Grim Reaper. Hello darkness, my old friend.

Music 101

Something Stupid

This song opened up last week’s episode of Better Call Saul, using a brilliant split-screen montage to illustrate how Jimmy and Kim were slowly untangling as a couple (situation remedied this week: Kim came over to the dark side). The artist here is Lola Marsh, a current Israeli duo who were commissioned specially to record it for this episode. The better-known version, recorded by Frank and Nancy Sinatra, shot up to No. 1 in 1967. Think of all the bands and songs that were roaming the earth in 1967, one of the best years ever for music. And this song went to No. 1.

Remote Patrol


2:25 p.m. HBO

Only for those with HBO and who have two hours to kill on a (cue the Moody Blues) Tuuuueeeeesday afterrrrrrnoooooon. Anyway, the first time we saw this, on a flight with bad ear buds, we did not appreciate it. The next time, when we understood what director Chris Nolan was trying to do, we were in awe. It’s a genius look at one of the most fateful military events in European history, taken in three different morsels of time: one week, one day, one hour.


by John Walters

Tweet Me Right

The author of the letter to the editor may be the best pro-choice argument you’ll see today…

Starting Five

F(Oregon)e Conclusion

How do you give away a football game—twice? I still don’t believe what I saw happen in Eugene. Are the Ducks cursed or are the Stanford Cardinal simply charmed?

That moment where Duck QB Justin Herbert had his back to the play, coolly flipped the ball to his running back on the jet sweep, and it appeared that he’d race to the pylon for the score that would make it 31-7 late in the third quarter? That very moment where he flipped the ball so nonchalantly out of his hands into the air?

The 6’6″ Herbert completed 25-27 passes before overtime and ran for what should have been the game-winning first down in the final two minutes.

That was the zenith of his college career. That was the moment every one of us has in our lives, where the future is unbelievably bright and hopeful, just before things come crashing down and you graduate to the school of hard knocks. Not all of us get the chance to see the precise moment happen, but there it was.

2. Star 80

At the end of the first round of the PGA Tour Championship in Georgia on Thursday, Tiger Woods had a share of the lead. And at the end of Sunday’s final round, the 42 year-old had the lead all to himself. Woods, who still has not won a major since June of 2008 (his 13 major championships are second only to Jack Nicklaus’ 18), claims his first victory on the PGA Tour in five years.

He went 1,876 days between Tour wins…

It’s Tiger’s 80th PGA Tour victory.

Preparing for a Sunday drive or two…

It was refreshing to hear “Tiger’s exploits” and not have to think, Who now? And if you’re wondering about that wave of euphoria, that swarm of fans who followed him up the 18th fairway, and asking, “Why?” Because we all love a redemption story.

People are calling this the greatest sports comeback of all time. Don’t know about that. Do know that if Michael Schumacher ever returns to win a Formula One race that’ll top it. Too soon?

And that’s an encouraging way to end 2018 for a veteran of multiple back surgeries. “Tiger’s Back” has long been the problem, but maybe “Tiger’s Back” is at long last an accurate report of events.

3. Feats Of Clay

For the third consecutive week, Green Bay Packer linebacker/Norse god Clay Matthews (he’s a viking, not a Viking) was flagged for unnecessary roughness on a quarterback, or what everyone outside the league offices on 52nd and Park Avenue would describe as “doing his job.”

This is a crock, as recently retired future Hall of Famer Joe Thomas implied on Sunday…

4. The Job Of Book

*the judges spent 73 minutes attempting to think of an original Ian Book pun.

Granted, Wake Forest isn’t exactly Michigan (and the Demon Deacons did fire their defensive coordinator in the wake of Saturday’s 56-27 defeat), but it’s not far from Ball State or Vanderbilt. Redshirt sophomore Ian Book took the reigns of Notre Dame’s offense for a trial run (as this blog suggested on Sept. 12 in an item titled “Notre Dame’s Playbook? Play Book”) and won the job.

It wasn’t just that Book’s numbers were impressive (25 of 34, 325 yards, 2 TDs, 0 picks, three rushing TDs) in leading the Irish to eight offensive touchdowns (they scored nine in their first three games, all wins), but more so that everyone else shined with him on the field. Ten different teammates caught passes, again equaling the number through three games with Brandon Wimbush at the helm.

Wimbush led the Irish to a 3-0 start this season and was 11-3 as a starter/finisher, but the offense often sputtered until/unless he started doing improv

The Irish defense has the chance to be special. Now, the offense with Book on the field can come close to matching it. And what of Wimbush, whom the coaches call the team’s premier running back? That’s the next conundrum. Is he the number two QB, or do you move him to wideout or running back? Would he accept that move?

Related: Did you see that throw true freshman Phil Jurkovec unleashed in garbage time? He has a cannon.

5. Thanks, I’ll Drive

In Birmingham, England, 44 m.p.h. gusts from Storm Ali (not to be confused with Storm Ali G.) caused this Air France airbus to abort its landing this weekend. Mitch McConnell commented that as soon as he gets Brett Kavanaugh confirmed to SCOTUS, these will no longer take place. And then someone told him to shut up.


Music 101


Love this summer of ’78 Fleetwood Mac-style single from Jefferson Starship. This song peaked at No. 12 and I’m honestly not sure if the vocals are Marty Balin or Grace Slick. I think it’s the former. It was a good summer for music, and I remember it well because the fam moved cross-country and drove the entire way. Must’ve heard this song, Joe Walsh’s “Life’s Been Good,” and Walter Egan’s “Magnet and Steel” two dozen times each on that pilgrimage.

Remote Patrol

The Last Waltz

9 p.m. TCM

Early in his career, Marty Scorcese filmed the final live performance of The Band, at San Francisco’s Cow Palace on Thanksgiving, 1976. If you were there you witnessed the legendary group play a dozen songs and then back up even brighter luminaries such as Van Morrison, Eric Clapton, Neil Young, Joni Mitchell, Neil Diamond, Ringo Starr and, of course, the musician for whom they launched their career as a backing ensemble,  Bob Dylan.

Better Call Saul (a.k.a. The Last Walt)

9 p.m. AMC

If you don’t have DVR, this WILL be a dilemma.


by Chris Corbellini

Week 3 Picks: When in doubt, don’t take your eyes off the QB

The windows to complete passes are so small, and the defenses are so fast, that it occurred to me that amazing needs to be the new normal for NFL quarterbacks. OK, let me rephrase: Amazing needs to be the new normal if that quarterback’s team wants to reach the NFL playoffs.

Example: Trailing the Packers 23-14 with 7:29 to play at Lambeau Field last week, Vikings QB Kirk Cousins faced a second and 10 from his own 25 and, at the snap, with Stefon Diggs running a go pattern, you could tell almost immediately that his throw would need to be Hail Mary-ish if he were to complete it to the streaking receiver. Diggs beat corner Davon House about 20 yards downfield, with House straining to keep up from there, and holy hell, Cousins uncorked a beauty. He let it go at his own 16, and Diggs caught it at the Packers 22 in stride. That’s a 75-yard touchdown pass on the box score, but it traveled 82 yards in the air.

Cousins is joining the immediate family of elite QBs

And it wasn’t even his best throw of the fourth quarter. That would be the 22-yard touch pass to Adam Thielen between two Packers defenders (Jaire Alexander and Kentrell Brice, who upon later review, may have held up a little because they knew they could hit each other) to cut the Pack lead to 29-27. The Vikings would then tie the game off a nifty pivot route by Diggs, who Cousins hit with ease for the two-point conversion. Cousins then had another impressive 25-yard completion to Thielen in OT, but it still wasn’t enough. The Vikings kicker missed a 35-yarder several plays later and the game wound up a tie.

We will need to wait until late November to see if Cousins can keep up with Packers All-Pro Aaron Rodgers once again. If he does, that may mean the division title and an automatic playoff berth. Maybe the Vikings sideline walked to the team buses numb and sore due to the 29-29 tie, and furious at the kicker (who was promptly released), but no question there’s an underlying confidence there due to Cousins. And it could carry them for months.

A good QB = hope. An amazing QB = swag. It’s a quarterback’s world, and the rest of us are watching it.

It’s soooo early, but to this point, here are the QBs that have impressed me most so far on film. Let’s see if these teams end up in the playoffs come January:



Alex Smith

Patrick Mahomes (Well, hello and welcome!)

Philip Rivers

Jared Goff

Tom Brady

Matthew Stafford (Yes, really)

I’ll wait another week before I put the legend of Ryan Fitzpatrick and his chest hair on the list, and ditto with Blake Bortles and the Red Rifle, Andy Dalton. But I’m not saying it won’t happen.

And all of this is prologue to my QB-centric picks this week. When in doubt (and I’m doubting now, having gone 1-2 last week) … go with the QB who can make an entire NFL sideline believe.

William Hill odds. Home team in caps.

Patriots (-6.5) over LIONS

You try to talk yourself into something, but the film shows you otherwise. I was ready to bury the Detroit Lions this year, and then I watched the second half of the team’s loss at San Francisco. There, Stafford completed the passes of a franchise guy who has reached his full potential athletically … and is now a smart QB to boot.

If I squinted Stafford looked just like Rivers against the Bills last week (a much-weaker foe than the Niners), a combination of hunger, a big arm, and brains. Perhaps the Lions will be beat down later in the season, privately griping about the system and the coaching staff with the playoffs out of reach. But Stafford found the right balance of experience and desperation in that second half. That should carry over if the Leos trail early against the Pats. I’m considering taking the over (53) on this game.

Don’t you love Angry Tom Brady?

Still, the Lions defense has been a story this week in Detroit, and not a warm and fuzzy one. The safeties and linebackers look lost under Matt Patricia’s new staff, and the stats bear this out. According to Pro Football Outsiders, the Lions are ranked 32nd, 22nd, 31st and 27th against opposing No. 1-3 receivers and tight ends, respectively. That’s … not so good.

I see Patricia matching Bill Belichick move-for-move for a half, but in the fourth, Brady will hit tight end Rob Gronkowski over and over, and Gronk will go full barbarian. This will lead to an awkward Belichick-Patricia postgame handshake. And a Gronkowski bear hug that Patricia will want no part of. And that phony smile Brady trots out to any vanquished coach he already knows.

VIKINGS (-16.5) over Bills

The ball sizzles out of Josh Allen’s hand. It’s so pretty on film. So pretty a pro scout might want to put a ring on his melt reel. But obviously the rest of his game needs work. Like a lot of rookie QBs, Allen looks like he’s playing waist-deep in mud. So, the Vikings D will mix it up — at times playing chess and other times just flat-out attacking the rookie — and Allen will react like DeNiro in GOODFELLAS after he finds out Tommy was whacked.

One thing I did notice of the Vikings D, that running back LeSean McCoy could exploit: Minnesota defensive end Danielle Hunter lines up so wide it’s like he’s covering a slot receiver … he’s consistently 7-8 yards away from the nearest defensive tackle. That’s a lot of cutback room for McCoy. And I noticed #29, Xavier Rhodes, can get beat consistently because he plays off coverage so deep and … oh, who am I kidding? This is a matchup between a Super Bowl-caliber defense and a rookie QB. Plus, Cousins is rolling. I won’t overthink this, even at -16.5.

Bears (-5.5) over CARDINALS

For the second straight week I thought Arizona’s goal-line defense just gave up way too easy in a critical moment. In this case, it was a fourth-and-goal with :03 to play in the half, with Todd Gurley ducking his head a little and romping in to take a 17-0 lead, and then slashing inside for the two-point conversion (strange – the Cardinals D showed more pride on the 2-point try).

Bears at Cards once gave us Denny Green’s infamous post-game presser: “They are what we thought they were!”

There is no elite quarterback in this one. Sam Bradford is a flat tire at the moment (when did he decide Larry Fitzgerald is not their No. 1 receiver?) and Chicago’s Mitch Trubisky is still looking for his “This is my f-cking team” game. Maybe this victory is it. But I doubt it, simply because he doesn’t need to play like a Pro Bowl passer to win this one — more likely he’ll dink and dunk to his two running backs, Jordan Howard and Tarik Cohen, against a Cardinals defense that is ranked 31st against RBs in the passing game. That duo, and a hungry, talented defense should be enough for Chicago to win by a touchdown. Wait, did I write should? They *will* win by a touchdown.

49ers (+6.5) over CHIEFS

Even at Arrowhead, even against Mahomes, I see the 49ers covering here. Of all the players I watched this week, besides Cousins, I was most impressed with Niners running back Matt Breida, mostly because he was such a surprise, especially on off-tackle runs (“Who is this guy?”). He’ll do well against the tissue-paper Chiefs defense, who forced Mahomes to play like a 21st Century Dan Marino over the first two games.

I don’t believe the hype yet. Show me something special at home, Kansas City. Go home and get your f-cking shine box.

Last week: 1-2

Season: 3-4

Related: Picking games against the spread is extremely difficult (thanks, Captain Obvious!). If you take nothing else out of this post, it’s that I have been humbled by this experience already, and when you throw your own moolah into the mix, you will second-guess your logical, well-researched choices.

A Few Words On Writing As A Hobby Versus Writing As A Profession…

by John Walters

A long time ago, a decade or so back, I was set up on a blind date (many of my personal anecdotes begin this way). When the lady seated across the table learned that I was a writer, she beamed. “I’m a writer, too!” she said.

“I thought you said you were a dentist,” I countered.

“Oh, I am,” the well-meaning lady said. “But I write free-lance when I can…Don’t worry, I’m no threat to you. I write for free.”

“That’s exactly why I’m worried,” I told her.


She meant well, but as I explained to the dentist, What if a whole bunch of us started practicing dentistry, simply because we enjoyed pulling teeth or doing root canals? Maybe we couldn’t do it as well as you, but we offered our services free of charge. Don’t you think we might cut into your market some? And worse, wouldn’t you be maybe just a tad offended that we presumed we could do your job without having taken all the courses and gone through all the rigors you did to become a dentist?

Granted, you need to be licensed to practice dentistry as opposed to practicing journalism. Still, treating any art or skill where people toil to make a living as only your hobby, and then brushing off a shortcoming as “well, this isn’t what I actually do” is a little bit disrespectful to those who do, no?

Last night I read a story on the Notre Dame fansite OneFootDown.com that caused me to revisit this conversation. A writer whose name I will not mention here wrote an opinion piece that was also an admonishment: “Stop Calling For Brandon Wimbush To Be Benched.”

Now, you’re welcome to your opinion on whether Brandon Wimbush or Ian Book should start at quarterback for the Fighting Irish. After all, only one man’s opinion truly matters. But if you look at the site OneFootDown.com, up in the right-hand corner, there’s a banner for SBNation. This tells you one thing: no matter whether the person who wrote this piece is a professional writer or not, the site exists as a for-profit site. Sure, it wants to inform its readers, but it is also a business. And as soon as you call yourself a business, no matter if you are a restaurant or a publication or an auto-repair shop, your work is subject to critical review. No matter how much or how little you pay your employees.

I did not share the author’s opinion nor did I find his arguments trenchant. Worse, he went with the dreaded unnecessary exclamation point (!) more than once. I don’t recall exactly how many times he did this, but it was at least twice. Sure, I could have been nicer about it, but I simply RT’ed the story link on Twitter from One Foot Down and added this admittedly snarky critique:

Can I occasionally (frequently?) come off as an A-hole on Twitter? Probably. Does that matter to me? Not really. I hate to borrow from Clay Travis here, but it’s true: “Facts, not feelings.”

Not long after someone from One Foot Down tweeted back at me that the author of the piece “writes 1 or 2 articles a week. I think he’s okay here — it’s the internet.” But I think he missed my point. The author’s literary integrity isn’t at risk here; the site’s is.

I’ve worked at a few places that make money based on the content of their stories. The brand name of any of those publications where I worked is only as good as the lamest story  that appears in that magazine or on that website. It’s the lowest common denominator that matters, not the highest common denominator.

If you want to write because you like to write, go right ahead. If you want to post pieces on a private blog for your friends and family and maybe a few people who will discover them and enjoy reading them as much as you enjoyed writing them, again, go ahead. And I’ll keep my mouth shut.

As soon as you write a piece for a site or magazine that actually employs people to keep that magazine or site running, your submission is fair game for my or anyone else’s critique. What you were paid to write it or if you only submitted it because you’re a die-hard fan or maybe because you’re just a dentist who likes to pen pieces pro bono in your off-hours, I don’t care. That site is a business; and as a consumer, I have every right to inform you that the product is sub-par.

Being that it’s Twitter, I’m now officially mean. And that’s unforgivable. So of course the hoi polloi will rally around the writer, who’s just a fella, I presume, who writes pieces in his free time because he loves Notre Dame football and whose pieces SB Nation happily runs because, hey, FREE CONTENT!

I’ll just leave you with this: When I went back to re-read the story today, someone had edited it. There’s now only one (!) exclamation mark in the piece, where previously there were more. I dunno, this is a bizarre thought, but maybe if someone at SB Nation who actually gets paid to produce pieces had taken the time to read and edit the piece (unofficially, Doing Your Job) before I sent out that tweet, this entire kerfuffle might have been avoided.

Have a nice weekend.

Go Irish!


by John Walters

Starting Five

Whose town? His town!

Baker Backers

Cleveland wins for the first time in 20 games and the entire city gets free Bud Light (what was second prize, by the way?). I see a commercial in which rookie quarterback Baker Mayfield overindulges, is chased down by the king’s guard, then tossed into the Pit of Misery. But then he leads them all to escape by scrambling away from the guardsmen and spiraling the keys to a fellow prisoner?

2. CannaCurious?*

*The judges will also accept “Weed All About It”

Why the sudden buzz about pot stocks?

On Wednesday the CEO of Canada-based Tilray (TRLY)appeared on CNBC, boasted that his company had gotten  approval from the DEA to import cannabis from Canada to the USA for medical research, and shares surged 38%. Yesterday Tilray came down from its high, searched in vain for a bag of Doritos, and saw its share price plunge 20%. They’re down another 16% in pre-market trading this morning.

Ahhh, but also yesterday, shares of England-based Isodiol International (ISOLF; a Walker Capital holding) surged 28%.

If you’re a cannabis company looking to step out from the pack, why not hire this pair as your spokesmen?

Why the sudden surge of interest in cannabis stocks? Because Canada is legalizing recreational marijuana use next month (this explains Richard Deitsch’s recent exodus to Toronto). Here are all the details if you just decided that you’ve always been meaning to visit Winnipeg or Moose Jaw and what better time than now.

We should note that this cannabis craze is taking place while the DOW is experiencing record highs. Coincidence?

It’s funny, though: All last autumn our friend Jason McIntyre was referring to Baker Mayfield as “Bitcoin.” Turns out Mayfield is not Bitcoin at all, but cannabis stocks sure appear to be.

3. The President of Something Called “The Ethics and Public Policy Center” Just Did A Very Unethical Thing

Yesterday conservative blogger/lawyer/former Antonio Scalia law clerk/Montgomery Burns doppelgänger Edward Whelan posited, ON TWITTER, that perhaps Christine Blasey Ford just fingered the wrong full-maned white guy for the attempted rape when she was in high school. Then Whalen went ahead and named whom it might have been.

Yes, now you have middle-aged white guys playing the “all white guys look alike” card in order to exonerate Brett Kavanaugh. What is useful here, besides the fact that we hope that other white guy, whom we won’t name, sues the suspenders off this clown, is that Whalen did not deny that the incident occurred. And he’s close buddies with Kavanaugh.

I’m not a smart man, Jenny, but maybe Edward Whelan should not be the man in charge of anything that has Ethics in its name?

4. Sawx Clinch

You better, you better, you Betts

Yes, Luke Voit hit a home run again, giving him 10 with the New York Yankees and making them the first team in Major League history to have 12 players with at least 10 home runs in one season. But the Red Sox won 11-6 to clinch the A.L. East in Yankee Stadium and stave off a three-game sweep.

And the A’s beat the Angels, 21-3, putting them just 2 1/2 back of the Yanks in terms of hosting the wild card game. Note: If both teams finish with identical records, the Bombers own the tiebreaker.

This was a typical Yankee loss in the second half of the season: A few big home runs, including a Giancarlo Stanton grand slam, but a costly (and sort of unforgivable) fielding error by Miguel Andujar in the 7th inning allowed a run and then Aroldis Chapman allowed a three-run bomb to Mookie Betts in the 8th…because he’s a totally unreliable pitcher now. 

Last night A’s leadoff hitter Nick Martini, who we’d thought was a bartender back in Bedford Falls who refused to serve George Bailey, went 3 for 6 with a home run.

Anyway, the A’s are SMOKING RED HOT and right now, at best, the Yanks are the third-most likely team to represent the A.L. in a World Series. But that Red Sox-Astros ALCS should be en fuego.

5. Victim Victoria

At least 80 people are dead and probably more as a passenger ferry capsized in Africa’s largest lake, Lake Victoria. The ship, with a capacity of 600, may have been carrying as many as 1,000 when it sunk. 

Music 101

Whole Lotta Love

The song that released the tethers from Led Zeppelin and let their monster career take flight. The song, the first track off Led Zeppelin II, was also the band’s first single, hitting No. 4 in the USA in spring of 1970 and No. 1 in Germany. Led Zep did not release songs as singles in their native U.K.

Parts of this song were cribbed directly from Chicago blues musician Willie Dixon’s “You Need Love,” which Muddy Waters had recorded in 1962. The band eventually settled with Dixon in 1985 and now he gets credit on the song. Elvis, the Stones, Led Zep: the originals in appropriating black culture.


Can’t wait to read this. In SI, and Tom Verducci is a master.

I was an 11 year-old Yankee fan who sat in the upper deck of Yankee Stadium the day it was announced, in late July, that Billy Martin would come back the following season. We all were relieved and at the time were assuaged (even if I didn’t know what that word meant at the time) because even though 1978 was lost (or so we thought), there was reason to be giddy about the future.


Now this. THIS. This is writing. By Alexandra Petri. Outstanding.

Remote Patrol

Florida Atlantic at UCF

7 p.m. ESPN

This would have been a fantastic game last year, as the Owls won their final 10 games in Lane Kiffin’s inaugural season while Scott Frost’s Knights went 13-0. It’s still a good game, as McKenzie Milton, the Knights’ QB, gets a national prime-time platform. He’s from Hawaii, too, you know.