Starting Five

1. Fall Classic: Two franchises that have been around since before manned flight (Detroit Tigers, 1901; New York/San Francisco Giants, 1883) meet in the World Series for the first time, beginning tonight. What this means for the casual sports fans is that blogs will be uploading oodles of Kate Upton pics.

Why show Kate Upton here when we can give you Marco Scutaro?

2. Highway 130, a toll road stretching between Austin and San Antonio, opens today. So? It will have the nation’s fastest speed limit, 85 m.p.h. The bad news? The toll is $6.17 and it is only a 40-mile stretch. Still, Sammy Hagar, your prayers have been answered.

3. Surfer Francisco Javier Solorio, Jr., 39, suffers a fatal shark bite near Santa Barbara. As surfers say, the landlord collected his rent. It was the 13th fatal shark attack off the California coast since 1950, an average of one nearly every five years.

4. On a day when there was no NFL, MLB, NBA (only preseason) or NHL, and the best that CFB could offer was a Sun Beast Belt game between Arkansas State and Louisiana-Lafayette, the Champions League came throughCeltic and FC Barcelona played a thriller in which heavily favored Barca (you know, Messi and all that) needed to come from behind. Jordi Alba scored the game-winner for the Spaniards in stoppage time.

Alba-tross? No

55. Afghanistan opens its first national park! Pack up the camper, we’re there.

Band-e Amir


Hedge fund manager John Paulson pledges $100 million to Central Park, saying, “It’s simply impossible to imagine what New York would be without Central Park.” Mr. Paulson, you are instantly inducted into our Hall of Ultra-Cool Hedge Fund Managers (which, admittedly, has lots of vacancy).

A few items here: Central Park was built in 1857 and it costs $37.5 million to maintain annually, so Paulson basically just took care of the budget for the next three years. I’m shaking your hand if I wait on you soon, Mr. P.

MH sets new record for most park photos in one post

Facebook (FB) reverses its Faceplant slide on the stock market, jumping 21% since yesterday’s earnings report. Or was it because F/X aired The Social Network on a continuous loop Sunday night (“Dating you is exhausting. It’s like dating a Stairmaster.”)

A seven year-old girl has written an opera. When we were seven we could recite the alphabet backwards and we were pret-tee satisified with ourselves. We may have been able, at best, to spell “opera”.

The New York Islanders are moving to Brooklyn which, technically, is still part of Long Island. Anyway, our suggested name change is Deckers.

Insert your high-sticking joke here…

Ten World Series items Joe BuckCarver will relate to the fans at home:

1. Justin Verlandest is dating Kate Upton.

2. Tim Lincecum looks like the kid from “Dazed and Confused.”

3. Marco Scutaro is with his eighth MLB team, making him a top candidate for this year’s Edgar Renteria Award.

4. McCovey Cove is shark-free… we think.

5. Brian Wilson is not THAT Brian Wilson.

6. Brandon Belt is the first MLB player named after an article of uniform clothing since Charlie Spikes.

7. Miguel Cabrera = The Clean Cabrera.

8. Prince Fielder is a vegeterian… seriously.

9. The Giants have already staved off elimination six times this postseason. “Stave” is a highly underused verb outside of sports.

10. Jim Leyland is a chain smoker. Bruce Bochy looks like Jeff Daniels in almost every scene from Crazy Heart.

Bruce (Ho)Bochy

Eva Longoria and Mark Sanchez split. Basketball player, football player… what’s next? Please, Eva, satisfy a writer’s craven craving for more word play and date baseball player Evan Longoria.

Alabama’s Aussie nose tackle Jesse Williams, who may be the strongest man in next April’s NFL draft, cuts his mohawk. Didn’t he learn the lesson of Zach Mettenberger, the LSU QB who shaved his mustache just before the Tigers lost at Florida?

Oh, Donald. This is your bombshell?

Donald Trump and his biggest fan

College Football News picks Notre Dame, a 10.5-point underdog in Norman this Saturday, to beat Oklahoma. They must be using that old Notre Dame head coach-in-his-third-season formula (Rockne, Leahy, Parseghian and Holtz all went undefeated in their third year in South Bend).

The Columbus, Ohio, radio host who called for Desmond Howard to “get fired or die” has himself been fired. Good job, good effort, Scott Torgeson. You couldn’t have done it without yourself (psst, 97.1: If you are looking for a radio host with a decent knowledge of college football who is not a COMPLETE and utter jackass, we know some people…)

Syria calls a cease-fire in its war against its own people on account of a holiday. So the key to Middle East peace is more holidays?

We cannot mention Crazy Heart without providing a video for this excellent song (here’s a cover of Falling and Flying).

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