“IT’S ALL HAPPENING!” WEDNESDAY, 8/29

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Starting Five


1. Kris Medlen of the Atlanta Braves, who was moved to the starting rotation on July 31, extends his scoreless innings streak to 28 1/3 innings in 2-0 win at San Diego.

2. The Redskins release tight end and loveable lug Chris Cooley, and LaVar Arrington appears on TV in fuschia shorts? (See video at bottom of post)

3. Best wishes for a full recovery to GMA’s Robin Roberts, who will miss six months or so while being treated for MDS.

4. Red states, red dress (Ann Romney) and red meat (Chris Christie): the GOP convention is off and running.

5. Hurricane Isaac hits Gulf coast; Hurricanes, Miami, travel up East coast with an expected landfall in Chestnut Hill.

The Bench

Our only question is, Is Florcnce Detlor’s status “Single” or “In a relationship?”

Aces were riled in the MLB last night: The Marlins shut down Stephen Strasburg after five innings, nine hits and seven runs. Chris Sale of the White Sox only lasted four innings in a 6-0 White Sox defeat.  Justin Verlander of Detroit allowed 8 earned runs in 5 1/3 and got no decision, while Jeff Weaver of the Angels also left with his side trailing — but was bailed out in the bottom of the 9th by Mike Trout.

Anndemonium in Tampa

 

Twelve days after her husband, Cactus Moser,  is involved in a gruesome motorcycle accident that results in the amputation of his left leg, Wynonna Judd announces her tour will resume tomorrow. Moser is also the drummer in her band.

What’s the deal with six-foot-eight, 340-pound University of Miami offensive tackle Seantrel Henderson? Three years ago he was arguably the most coveted prep player in the nation. This week he will not accompany the Hurricanes to their opener at Boston College. “Seantrel, right now, has to get his house in order before he can help us,” said Miami coach Al Golden. “He’s got a lot of things going on.”

Australian women’s hoopster Liz Cambage, who had a dunk in the Olympic Games, surprises confounds shocks Tulsa, her WNBA franchise, by informing them that she has decided to remain Down Under for the remainder of the season. Of course, the joke’s on the rest of the league since it behooves (yes, it is in their “hooves”) Tulsa, who were tied with Phoenix for the league’s worst record (4-19), to finish in last place. So what do the Shock do last night? Win their first road game of the season — after 10 losses — to move to 5-19. Nothing’s Shock-ing.

(We apologize for spending four lines on the WNBA to those of our readers who are still with us. To show our contrition, here’s a shamelessly unrelated photo of Candice Swanepoel)

This is not Liz Cambage

 

On his television show earlier this morning, “Jimmy Kimmel Live”, the host had friend and comedian Jeffery Ross stage an outdoor comedy roast of the sun because, “it’s been roasting us.” Ross had the single funniest line in Comedy Central Roast history once, an allusion to Bea Arthur, that we’ll just ask you to discover on your own (this is not a family site, per se, but our mom occasionally reads it).

You know, it wouldn’t be particularly sensitive, but it might be funny if someone obtained a Loch Ness Monster suit and stood on a road side in Montana today. You see, because Nessie is a water-bound creature and…

Speaking of Montana (Hey, nice Segway, kid… no, I mean, segue), former Irish quarterback Joe Montana was asked about starter Everett Golson and replied, “He’s probably the least talented thrower they have. (thanks to Ken Fowler for the heads up).

More on Atlanta Brave pitcher Kris Medlen, who was promoted to the starting rotation on July 31: the 26 year-old Artesia, Calif., native, who missed all of last season while rehabbing from Tommy John surgery, is 5-0 with two shutouts since then. More incredible, the Braves have now won Medlen’s last 17 starts dating back to 2010.

Kris Medlen is baseball’s King of the Hill in August

CNN (and they’re not alone) is once again doing the “Reporter standing in the midst of a hurricane” remotes. In fact, CNN.com even has a story with the headline “Isaac rain drenches CNN reporters.” As long as we’re going to grandstand this way (and if I were a reporter, I would do this), why not stand out there clad in a tuxedo?

Why do we get the feeling that Darren Heitner, age 27, had a lot to do with the composition of this Wikipedia page? Heitner is rumored to be a replacement for Darren Rovell at CNBC. Why do we get the feeling that Heitner started this rumor?

OMG! California approves a bill that would increase fines for texting while driving. The fines and hikes are less severe than you might think: from $20 to $30 for a first-time offense and from $50 to $60 for a second offense. Assemblyman Tim Donnelly (R-San Bernadino) dissented, asking if the state would next set fines for driving while holding a cheeseburger. Clearly, this is a pol who has the In-N-Out Burger lobby in his corner.

This is probably as close to Erin Andrews (stickiness hits!) as I’ll ever get. Or should get. Thanks to Kyle Porter. We will add that I am probably the only person on that list who received a $33 tip on a $71 check last night. So I have that going for me, which is nice…

 

 

 

 

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