IT’S ALL HAPPENING! Monday, 8/26

Starting Five

1. Twerk-Offs and Talents

Ho. Hum.

The MTV VMAs were staged in Brooklyn last night, and the media web sites are informing us that everyone is talking about Miley Cyrus’ duet with Robin Thicke, and how she “twerked” him. Although very few people are talking about it, because MTV stopped caring about music about nine seconds after Kurt Cobain put a bullet through his head and it’s worth noting that Notre Dame has returned to relevance in its own seminal niche sooner than MTV has.

Also, the music sucked. So there’s that.

When you don’t have an incredible song, or an unforgettable hook or melody (granted, Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” is above average), you resort to impersonating Madonna and attempting to “SHOCK” the world with raciness. Because the object of the game is no longer to be an artist but rather to be the lead story on the following night’s “Extra!”

Darlene Love (foreground) singing “Lean On Me” with Jo Lawry, Judith Hill and Lisa Fischer.

On Saturday night the chick and I saw “20 Feet From Stardom”, which is a documentary about the most talented backup singers in the history of rock-and-roll and pop music. Merry Clayton, whose vocals on “Gimme Shelter” will outlive every performer at last night’s VMAs, for example. Also, Darlene Love and Lisa Fischer, whose voices are just out of this world. Do yourself a favor and devote 90 minutes of your life to watching this doc.

Talent may not trump hype in the moment, but it will always outlast it.

And I’ll add both Miley and Robin are the offspring of celebrity dads. They may have talent, but they were born on third base. The women I mentioned above, they hit a triple on an 0-2 count.

2. Japan Wins the Little League World Series

Unlike its big brother, the Little League World Series actually demonstrates truth in advertising.

In what was a tense battle, the International champs from Tokyo defeated the U.S. champs from Chula Vista (a suburb of San Diego that lies equidistant, 7 miles, between it and the border of Mexico) 6-4. It was Japan’s third Little League World Series title in the past four years.

3. Jerry Dantana Should’ve Paid More Attention to His College Hoops Team

Dantana: Now producing the noon newscast at KTVU.

Over at Atlantis Cable News, the clock runs out on Jerry Dantana –and the season-long story arc is resolved and revealed –as the Genoa producer’s unethical doctoring of an interview is exposed —as correctly predicted here one week ago — via the college basketball game in the background. Allow me to go McMac on Aaron Sorkin by exposing the fact that there is no way in hell that Will McAvoy could have been watching a UCLA-Cal football game on Sunday, September 9 of last year. First of all, the two Pac-12 schools have never played on a Sunday and last year’s game occurred on October 6.

If you dissect the footage, Will is watching a game between the Bruins and Golden Bears in which 1) the uniforms would suggest the game is being played in Berkeley and 2) the score is tied 14-14. Diligent investigation by our Medium Happy staff (I am both the white team and the red team) shows that the last time such an event occurred was on October 16, 2004. So either Sorkin just recklessly tossed in some game footage without a care as to whether someone would red-check it or Will was watching a game from nearly eight years earlier that he had taped.

We’ll have more on The Newsroom later, most likely in a separate post.

4. Head Over Wheels

Breaking the Law, Breaking the Law! (thanks, Butthead)

Will Power is Australian.

Scott Dixon is a Kiwi.

And yesterday, in Sonoma, they may have been involved in some Down Under-handed chicanery.

Yesterday the two Indy Car rivals had quite the run-in at the scenic Sonoma Grand Prix in the wine country of northern California. Dixon was leading with 15 laps remaining, and Power was in second, when both drivers entered pit row for a quick tire change. Power’s spot was located directly in front of Dixon’s.

Dixon, the leader, entered pit lane first but as you can see Power cuts him off, causing Dixon to come to a stop before fully being in his rightful place. Then a member of Power’s pit crew, Travis Law, can be seen carrying Power’s tire behind Power’s car with all the nonchalance, as our friend Jones says, “of a guy carrying a bag of groceries home from Trader Joe’s.”

Was Law attempting to block Dixon, whose crew had him ready to depart pit row before Power’s did. Dixon certainly thought so, as he sped out and clipped Law, sending him, the tire, and another Power pit crew member sprawling.

Dixon received a one-lap penalty and finished far off the pace. Power won.

Do you think Law knew exactly what he was doing here? Watch the tape and decide. The announcers side with Dixon.

5. Yes, But are the Kardashians Keeping Up With Lamar Odom?

Lamar and Khloe have a lot of baggage.

Reports out of Los Angeles, via TMZ (go ahead and laugh, but they’ve broken many a story that turned out to be true) that former Los Angeles Laker and recent Los Angeles Clipper Lamar Odom has gone missing for three days and is on a cocaine binge. If my wife was Khloe Kardashian that would be enough to make me go AWOL, too (although having Bruce Jenner as your father-in-law and Kanye West as your brother-in-law would be pretty cool), but this appears serious. Odom is a free agent, living in southern California and apparently abusing substances. Is his next stop a visit to North Korea?


For the record, Daft Punk did not perform at the VMAs. So what was all that Colbert Report hub-bub about?


Million Dollar Mistake

Last night a New York Powerball lottery ticket worth $1 million expired before anyone came forward with said ticket to claim the prize. If you have a vague recollection of being at the Playland Market in Rye, N.Y., on August 25 of 2012, and a similarly vague notion of having bought a lottery ticket but of forgetting which cargo shorts you were wearing, well, it’s best if you just forget all of that now. We should note, by the way, that Rye is a very affluent suburb of New York City. Most of its denizens don’t need the seven figs as much as the rest of the state’s residents. The unclaimed prize now returns to the prize pool.


Remote Patrol

Chelsea at Manchester United

NBC Sports Network 3 p.m.

Wayne Rooney of Man U. (in red)

Eight of the last nine English Barclays Premier League championships have been won either by The Blues of Chelsea (3x) or the Red Devils of Manchester United (5x). This afternoon they meet at Old Trafford. Portuguese-born Jose Mourinho, who most recently managed Real Madrid, is back for a second stint as manager of Chelsea, whom he earlier led to two of those three championships.



One thought on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING! Monday, 8/26

  1. 1st the high – the Remote Patrol is back from summer hiatus & we didn’t even have to wait til after Labor Day! (You should copyright that phrase).

    And then the low – the open. (Can’t you just imagine JT’s agent steaming? HIS former Disney child star was to dominate the night & the next-day’s chatter). I hadn’t watched that show in years but for some reason, I actually watched the repeat broadcast (started immediately after the Live show’s close) & here were my thoughts – “THAT is now Lady Gag-a? God, I am old. What the hell happened to Hannah Montana?! When is NSYNC gonna appear? Finally! Wait, that’s it?! Who ARE some of these people? God, I am old.”

    Seriously, what’s happened to Hannah Montana?!

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