IT’S ALL HAPPENING! Monday, March 31

https://mediumhappy.com/?p=5058

STARTING FIVE

1. Rain Man

The Biblical epic “Noah” tops the box office ($44 million) on a weekend that, at least here in New York, produced near non-stop precipitation and anti-deluvian flooding. It’s a film that stars Russell Crowe and Jennifer Connelly as a married couple in which the husband hears disembodied voices.  So, yes, totally new territory for this pair. If form holds, Connelly will marry the voice of God in real life.

2. The Upper Hand? Nope

Nik Stauskas scored a game-high 24 points for UM, but it wasn’t enough

Tough Sunday for the state of Michigan, as both the Spartans and Wolverines fall in their respective NCAA regional finals. The good news: baseball season begins today and Justin Verlander is on the mound this afternoon at Comerica Park versus Lorde’s favorite team.

3.Flesh Mob

She operates a post-zombie B&B. But are you the second B?

“All who arrive, survive,” proclaims Terminus’ own Tokyo Rose, but for how long? The season finale of “The Walking Dead” suggests that the erstwhile railroad depot Terminus, now a “sanctuary”, is just a new spin on “Soylent Green.” In the post-apocalyptic world that Sheriff Rick and the gang inhabit, everyone apparently wants to eat you: if it ain’t the zombies, then it’s just fellow survivors.

4. Elliott Mess

My former SI colleague, Josh Elliott, is leaving Times Square and “Good Morning America” for 30 Rock and “Today.” NBC Sports (it’s a short hike from 7th Avenue to 6th Avenue, and up from 46th Street to 49th. You can stop into the Steakateria en route).

From what has been reported, Josh was earning just over $1 million per and wanted a raise up to $8 million. And that may sound crazy to you, but GMA went from No. 2 to No. 1 in the morning after he arrived, and the incumbent host at “Today” earns approximately $25 million. Yes, Matt Lauer IS “Today”, but he’s also 56 so he’s not Tomorrow. On Today.

Josh is.

I like Josh a lot. He’s always been very, very sure of himself, but not in a way that is a turn-off. Plus, all the Ad Sales lasses at SI thought he was dreamy (he is). His first day at GMA, by the way, in May of 2011, was the morning after Osama Bin Laden was taken out. What a way to begin your national career as a news reader.

So who should GMA look to now? Scott Van Pelt would be “useful” (as suggested by Jim Weber on Twitter) but he just re-upped at the WWL and he may prefer where he is. You need another male on set. My easy suggestion is David Muir: intelligent, handsome, hard news background, 40ish. My wildcard suggestion is Zach Aldridge, because of this. 

5. “I’m Literally Starving…’

Allie LaForce…she also appeared live in NYC this weekend.

Comedian Louis C.K. guest-hosts on Saturday Night Live and kills with his opening monologue. I happen to agree with everything he says here about religion, for example, God replying to the recently deceased about heaven: “I’m supposed to make a universe and then a whole ‘nother amazing place?!? You people are greedy ____ down there!”

Reserves

“60 Minutes” had not one but two segments last night that everyone is talking about: one about Michael Lewis’ new book, “Flash Boys”, which is about how Wall Street is emulating Peter Griffin’s scheme in “Office Space” and the other about my man Elon Musk, whom I have praised repeatedly on this site.

****

The SickSirs win! And by 25 points. Which means that their streak ends at 26 games, which only ties them with Cleveland for the worst of all time. Oddly enough, tonight they visit the Atlanta Hawks, who themselves have the NBA’s worst current losing streak at six games –and are only two games in the loss column ahead of the Knicks for 8th place in the East.

 

The Hall

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner

1937:  Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P ; 1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B 1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF; 1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B; 1941: Wee Willie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B; 1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B; 1943: Mickey Cochrane, C; Frankie Frisch, 2B 1944: Ed Walsh, P; Old Hoss Radbourn, P 1945: Lou Gehrig, 1B; Kid Nichols, P 1946: Ed Delahanty, LF; Lefty O’Doul 1947: Pud Galvin, P; John McGraw, INF 1948: Carl Hubbell, P; Addie Joss, P 1949: Harry Heilman, OF/1B; Monte Ward, P/SS 1950: Cool Papa Bell, CF; Jimmie Foxx, 1B 1951: Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown, P; Josh Gibson, C 1952: Paul Waner, RF; Charlie Gehringer, 2B 1953: Mel Ott, RF; Hank Greenberg, 1B 1954: Eddie Plank, P; Dan Brouthers, 1B 1955: “Wahoo” Sam Crawford, OF; John Clarkson, P 1956: Chief Bender, P; Bill Dickey, C 1957: Sam Rice, RF; Joe DiMaggio, CF 1958: Bill Terry, 1B; Heinie Manush, LF 1959: Dizzy Dean, P; Tim Keefe, P 

Hack Wilson

1960: Gabby Hartnett, C; Mickey Welch, P 1961: Bob Feller, P; Ducky Medwick, LF 1962: Luke Appling, SS; Jesse Burkett, LF 1963 Jackie Robinson, 2B; Zack Wheat, LF 1964: Jake Beckley, 1B; Rube Waddell, P 1965: Ralph Kiner, 1B; Lefty Grove, P 1966: Ted Williams, LF; Smoky Joe Wood, P/OF 1967: Roy Campanella, C; Max Carey, OF 1968: Goose Goslin, LF; Rabbit Maranville, SS 1969: Stan Musial, 1B/OF 1970: Ferris Fain, 1B; Earle Combs, CF 1971: Warren Spahn, P; Yogi Berra, C 1972 Satchel Paige, P; Sandy Koufax, P 1973: Robin Roberts, P; Whitey Ford, P 1974: Mickey Mantle, CF; Eddie Mathews, 3B 1975: Lefty Gomez, P; Hack Wilson, CF 1976: Jack Pfiester, P; Johnny Mize, 1B 1977: Ernie Banks, SS; Mickey Welch, P 1978: Roberto Clemente, RF; Chuck Klein, RF 1979: Willie Mays, CF; Luis Aparicio,  SS 1980: Al Kaline, RF; Enos Slaughter, RF 1981: Bob Gibson, P; Harmon Killebrew, 1B 1982: Hank Aaron, RF; Frank Robinson, OF 1983: Brooks Robinson, 3B, Juan Marichal, P 1984: Hoyt Wilhelm, P; Arky Vaughan, SS

1985

Lou Brock, LF; 1961-1979, Cardinals

The greatest base thief of his generation and one of the best of all time, Brock led baseball in steals for eight seasons and set the record for steals in one season with 118 in 1974. When he retired Brock held both the single-season stolen base mark and the career stolen-base mark (938), records that were both later broken by Rickey Henderson. A six-time All-Star, he also eclipsed the 3,000-hit mark with 3,023.

Pete Browning, OF; 1882-1894, Louisville Eclipse/Colonels, Others

Browning

Browning is not actually in the Hall of Fame, but he is one of those baseball ghosts worth knowing about. First off, he hit .341 in 13 seasons, which is the 13th-best batting average in baseball history. Second, he was deaf and often played with massive head pain due to mastoiditis, an inner ear condition. He was known as “The Louisville Slugger” (he was born and died in the same house in L’ville) and was the first to have bats made custom for him. Browning was also the first Major Leaguer to purchase a bat from the Hillerich & Bradley Co., hence that’s why you know the nickname. He spent a season with a team called the Cleveland Infants. His dad died in a cyclone when he was 13. He gave his bats Biblical names and spoke to them. He stared into the sun to strengthen his eyes. I’m making none of this up.

Remote Patrol

How I Met Your Mother

CBS 8 p.m.

Kids, let me tell you about the series finale of HIMYM…While Barney Stinson is currently on Broadway (technically, he’s on 44th St. b/w 6th and 7th playing the lead –it’s a one-man show– in “Hedwig and the Angry Inch”) the show will finally come to a close. Brilliant in its first few seasons, it’s petered out some in the end. Still, it gave us this (with Stacy Keibler!), which may have convinced Broadway producers that NPH was up for Hedwig, and many other great moments. Take a bow, kids.

One thought on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING! Monday, March 31

  1. I’m not quite sure what to make of MH’s first graphic today. Do you believe Noah denied access to certain animal species? I prefer to think there were Ark Angels who issued ethereal boarding passes, letting the sinewy giraffes enter first in Zone One, while the earthworms, guppies and sugar gliders of the world were held back in Zone Five. Only one carry-on item allowed per sea urchin, while the marsupials snuck on extra bags without detection.

    Although I don’t watch GMA, I recently had the good fortune to meet Josh Elliot at a non-profit event in the Bay Area. He was there in loving support of his best friend, who has an amazing son with special needs. Sincerity is the descriptor that immediately comes to mind.

    I wish him all the best.

    Loved the quirky tale of Browning. I wonder if ‘Exodus’ and ‘Revelation’ were his preferred bats. (Although I’ve overheard more than one ball player calling their bat ‘Jesus Christ’.)

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