IT’S ALL HAPPENING! Wednesday, April 30


You know him from here…

1. We Are Won Over

Wondering how much of a heads up various NBA people got regarding Adam Silver’s decision, seeing as how the Clippers’ home page changed as swiftly as it did and that there was even a “We Are One” montage on TNT by night’s end.

Silver hit Donald Sterling in the wallet ($2.5 million, although he bought the Clips for $12.5 million and they should sell for near $1 billion, so he’ll be both fined and fine), while the Bunny Ranch struck him below the belt. Truly, that was a Suspension of Disbelief.

…but you may also know him from here.

2. Who’s That Girl?

A female reporter stood up yesterday at the Adam Silver presser and asked the question that has been most replayed on ESPN –and I suppose it’s a coincidence that she was the first reporter who was shown on camera asking a question, even though others had come before her. The question was, and I paraphrase, “You are outraged by what Mr. Sterling, said but what about everyone who has been outraged by him being a racist slumlord for years? How come the NBA is only acting now?”

That reporter is Lisa Guerrero, a 50 year-old woman of many talents: former Los Angeles Ram cheerleader; actress on the daytime soap “Sunset Beach”; local LA weekend sports reporter; sideline reporter on “Monday Night Football”; co-host on Fox’s “Sports Geniuses” and contributor on “The Best Damn Sports Show Period”; cover model for “Playboy”; “Reporter”, with lines, in “Moneyball“; and now this. Guerrero, who turned 50 earlier this month and is married to former Major League pitcher Scott Erickson, is resilient.

3. He’s Everywhere

Feldman: Prepping for the ‘Joanie loves Chachi’ remake?

The latest in a long line of actors to cross over from one HBO or AMC program to another HBO or AMC show? Well, there are two, actually. First, there’s Ben Feldman, whom you first met two years ago as Ginsberg on “Mad Men” and who made his debut on Sunday on “Silicon Valley” as Lawyer Ron…a character that actually reminded me a lot of Bob Loblaw from “Arrested Development.”

Lawyer Ron, after Richard asks why the company will be incorporated in Delaware: “Rich, Rich. Lawyer (2 thumbs pointed to self), not lawyer (2 thumbs pointed at Richard). I got you.”

Then there’s Kevin Dunn, who went from the hostile-toward-Rust (How dare he!?!) police chief in “True Detective” to the cynically hilarious advisor, Ben Caffrey, in “Veep.”

Dunn on True Detective: Rust-proof

Caffrey: “We all know that the White House would work much better if there wasn’t a president, but there is, so we work around it.”

While Veep is truly hitting its stride, Silicon Valley, now four episodes in, is beginning to show promise. To use Lawyer Ron’s metaphor, it’s that baby sea turtle that just may reach the surf. And HBO has already renewed it for a second season. It’s “How To Make It In America” with better weather and 50% less depressing failure.

4. Chicago Cubs and Cubans

If the principal from Ferris Bueller had a son who doubled as a Major League pitcher and porn star…

Cubbies’ opening day starter Jeff Samardzija is now 0-3 after last night’s defeat in Cincinnati. This despite a 1.98 ERA and having gone at least seven innings in five of his six starts. He has allowed 2 home runs in 41 innings. He handed the Cubs a 5-2 lead in the top of the ninth last week on Wrigley’s 100th birthday and they still blew it. Samardzija grew up in northwest Indiana, a Cubs fan, but he must be screaming, “TRADE ME!” inside.

Meanwhile on the South Side, 27 year-old White Sox rookie Jose Abreu leads the big leagues in both home runs (10) and RBI (32), which are both rookie records for the month of April. Is the Cuban defector not a bigger deal because we all have Puig Fatigue?

5. Show Claws Penalty*

Hey, Jameis. These guys have a bone –oh, I’m sorry, a shell–to pick with you.

“So Jameis Winston walks out of a Publix and… What else is left to say? Honestly, if the Heisman Trophy winner and an Alaskan King Crab legs heist gone wrong cannot save Twitter’s stock price, I don’t know what can.

Hed courtesy of MH’s patron saint of punnery, Greg Auman


Pal Joey

We must ask, was this absolutely necessary, Mr. Crawford? There’s a time and a place… “Listen to me! Listen to me! Put five up there!”


Hall of Famer Yogi Berra’s home is For Sale and yes, it’s on the market for $888,000. Why they stopped at three eights, I don’t know. But remember, it’s Yogi we are dealing with here.

The Hall

Charter Inductees: Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, Babe Ruth, Honus Wagner 1937:  Tris Speaker, CF; Cy Young, P ; 1938: Grover Cleveland Alexander, P; Eddie Collins, 2B 1939:Nap Lajoie, 2B; Joe Jackson, LF; 1940: Billy Hamilton, OF; Cap Anson, 1B; 1941: Wee Willie Keeler, RF; George Sisler, 1B; 1942: Rogers Hornsby, 2B; Pie Traynor, 3B; 1943: Mickey Cochrane, C; Frankie Frisch, 2B 1944: Ed Walsh, P; Old Hoss Radbourn, P 1945: Lou Gehrig, 1B; Kid Nichols, P 1946: Ed Delahanty, LF; Lefty O’Doul 1947: Pud Galvin, P; John McGraw, INF 1948: Carl Hubbell, P; Addie Joss, P 1949: Harry Heilman, OF/1B; Monte Ward, P/SS 1950: Cool Papa Bell, CF; Jimmie Foxx, 1B 1951: Mordecai “Three Finger” Brown, P; Josh Gibson, C 1952: Paul Waner, RF; Charlie Gehringer, 2B 1953: Mel Ott, RF; Hank Greenberg, 1B 1954: Eddie Plank, P; Dan Brouthers, 1B 1955: “Wahoo” Sam Crawford, OF; John Clarkson, P 1956: Chief Bender, P; Bill Dickey, C 1957: Sam Rice, RF; Joe DiMaggio, CF 1958: Bill Terry, 1B; Heinie Manush, LF 1959: Dizzy Dean, P; Tim Keefe, P 1960: Gabby Hartnett, C; Mickey Welch, P 1961: Bob Feller, P; Ducky Medwick, LF 1962: Luke Appling, SS; Jesse Burkett, LF 1963 Jackie Robinson, 2B; Zack Wheat, LF 1964: Jake Beckley, 1B; Rube Waddell, P 1965: Ralph Kiner, 1B; Lefty Grove, P

George Sisler

1966: Ted Williams, LF; Smoky Joe Wood, P/OF 1967: Roy Campanella, C; Max Carey, OF 1968: Goose Goslin, LF; Rabbit Maranville, SS 1969: Stan Musial, 1B/OF 1970: Ferris Fain, 1B; Earle Combs, CF 1971: Warren Spahn, P; Yogi Berra, C 1972 Satchel Paige, P; Sandy Koufax, P 1973: Robin Roberts, P; Whitey Ford, P 1974: Mickey Mantle, CF; Eddie Mathews, 3B 1975: Lefty Gomez, P; Hack Wilson, CF 1976: Jack Pfiester, P; Johnny Mize, 1B 1977: Ernie Banks, SS; Mickey Welch, P 1978: Roberto Clemente, RF; Chuck Klein, RF 1979: Willie Mays, CF; Luis Aparicio,  SS 1980: Al Kaline, RF; Enos Slaughter, RF 1981: Bob Gibson, P; Harmon Killebrew, 1B 1982: Hank Aaron, RF; Frank Robinson, OF 1983: Brooks Robinson, 3B, Juan Marichal, P 1984: Hoyt Wilhelm, P; Arky Vaughan, SS 1985: Lou Brock, LF; Pete Browning, OF 1986: Sidd Finch, P 1987: Willie McCovey, 1B, Roger Maris, RF 1988: Willie Stargell, 1B, Catfish Hunter, P 1989: Earl Averill, CF, Billy Williams, LF 1990: Johnny Bench, C, Carl Yastrzemski, LF 1991: Jim Palmer, P, Joe Morgan, 2B 1992: Rod Carew, 2B; Gaylord Perry, P 1993: Reggie Jackson, RF, Tom Seaver, P 1994: Phil Niekro, P, Rollie Fingers, P 1995: Pete Rose, INF, Mike Schmidt, 3B 1996: Steve Carlton, P, Denny McLain, P 1997: Jim Rice, LF, Don Sutton, P 1998: Dick Allen, 1B, Dave Parker, RF 1999: Nolan Ryan, P, George Brett, 3B 2000: Robin Yount, SS, Carlton Fisk, C 2001: Kirby Puckett, CF, Mark Fidrych, P 2002: Ozzie Smith, SS, Gary Carter, C 2003: Eddie Murray, 1B, Tommy John (Surgery) 2004: Paul Molitor, INF, Dennis Eckersley, P 2005: Wade Boggs, 3B, Ryne Sandberg, 2B


This is a fallow period in baseball history, and I’d rather not bestow an induction to a player I don’t truly believe in. Hence, it’s Dubious Honors Day, men who will enter the Hall for being all-time leaders in something no one particularly strives to be known for. And this is a good time to note that baseball’s career Loss leader (Cy Young, 316) is also its career Wins leader (511), its  career Outs leader (Pete Rose, 10,328) is also its career Hits leader (4,256), that its all-time Caught Stealing leader (Rickey Henderson, 335) is also is Stolen Bases leader (1,406), and that its careers Bases on Balls leader (Nolan Ryan, 2,795) is also its career strikeouts leader (5,714).

“Ying and yang.”

“I believe it’s ‘yin and yang.'”

“No, ‘ying and yang.’ They’re opposite.”

Hughie Jennings, SS; 1891-1903, ’07, ’09-10, ’12, ’18, Orioles, etc.

Jennings: “Ouch!”

“Ee-yah!”, who is actually enshrined in Cooperstown, had a lifetime batting average of .312 and batted .401 in 1896, but that is not why he is noteworthy. Nope. Jennings holds the all-time record for being Hit by Pitch (287) as well as the Single-Season record (51). Craig Biggio retired two shy of Jennings’ career mark. Taking one for the team should be known as a “Hughie.”

Herman Long, SS; 1889-1904, Beaneaters

Long ranks 30th all-time in stolen bases (537), but he makes our Hall because he is the game’s all-time leader in Errors Committed, with 1,090. Long’s shortcoming? Exceptional range, which allowed him to get to more balls than most shortstops and, hence, commit more errors. In 1903 future Hall of Fame pitcher Kid Nichols said, “Herman Long is the greatest shortstop of them all.”

Remote Patrol

Texas Two-Step

Mavs at Spurs, Blazers at Rockets

TNT 7 & 9:30 p.m.

Monta Ellis has been the best player in the Mavs-Spurs series thus far.

One state, four teams. Three of them from Texas. It’s a twin-bill of Game 5’s from the Lone Star State. My only prediction is that the underdogs will at least cover, if not win.



3 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING! Wednesday, April 30

  1. He was confused about where exactly the new “All You Can Eat” rule applies? Sheesh. If this is true & not some kind of mix-up (“I thought my buddy was paying, etc”), HOW dumb, self-absorbed, or both, can you be?

    Have 3 of the 4 top seeds (2 East/2 West) never gotten out of the NBA 1st Round before? That could actually happen now. Wow.

    BTW, all season long I read & heard how Durant was “unguardable”. That he was an “outlier” – a 6’11 shooter nonpareil with defensive arms like an octopus. Looks like Tony Allen & the rest of the Grizzlies didn’t get that info. How can the “unanimous” designated MVP not even get he & his healthy team to the 2nd round? Come on, I’m not saying KD’s gone all-Hibbert, but geeze, where is all the hand-wringing & solemn pronouncements that KD’s “not a winner”? They lost at HOME last night! A pivotal (albeit NOT a “must-win”, wink, wink) game! He’s got 1-2 games to “turn the beat around” or that MVP ceremony won’t be such a joyous occasion. I like KD, really I do, but both the Thunder and Spurs are getting a bit of a free pass on their so-far lackluster efforts. Ok, ok, the games have been exciting, but both those teams were ‘supposed’ to get to the 2nd round & barely break a sweat, right? The Spurs won 62 games this season! Their opponent, the Mavs, didn’t even get to .500! What the heck is happening? Obi-jdubs, any insight?

  2. So, I need to give the Spurs some slack & not just because they won last night & are now up 3-2. Apparently, there’s been a WHOLE lot of birthing babies down there in ole San Antone the past 2 weeks, so all the usual heightened excitement, stress, anxiety, & lack of sleep due to the playoffs has been multiplied! Hmmmm, 9 months ago these guys were still trying to get past the gut-wrenching memory of Game 6 & a championship being snatched from their clutches. Makes sense. 🙂

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