The 5’9″ Swanepoel is what fellow South Africans would describe as “slightly above average.”

1. They Won’t Date You, Either

I’m going to go ahead and say that the timing for the release of the “Maxim Hot 100” (or as I refer to it, “Leo’s Grocery List”), the magazine’s annual ranking of the world’s 100 most beautiful women, might not be the best. Just days after a mass murder in Santa Barbara motivated by a deranged boy’s ire that the beautiful people are all hooking up and he isn’t.

Finishing atop the rankings is 25 year-old South African Candice Swanepoel who, perhaps not coincidentally, looks more like a Barbie Doll than anyone on the list.

Not on the list, and hence negating the credibility of said list? Bar Refaeli, Kate Bock, Taylor Swift, Paulina Gretzky, Julianna Hough or Robin Wright.

2. Rout 28

Every Gregg Popovich press conference is the deposition scene from “The Social Network.”

The Spurs defeat OKC by 28 –they won Game 1 2 by 35 –to take a 3-2 lead in the series. Each contest has been won by the home team and by at least 11 points, prompting a direct and valid question by a reporter in last night’s post-game presser to Pop (thanks to Yahoo! Sports for this exchange, reprinted here):

Reporter: Five games, five blowouts. To us who don’t really know the game, how do you explain that?

Popovich: You’re serious. You really think I can explain that. … Heh …

Reporter: In simplest terms. I know you can. The question is “will you?”

Popovich: Good lord. And they pay you, don’t they?

Reporter: Very little.

Popovich: Thus the question!

Reporter: That’s why I’m not up there!

Kudos to the reporter, who is nameless in every story I’ve searched (more than half a dozen), whose “very little” line saved this from being an (other) awkward and uncomfortable exchange.

Here’s the truth, Ruth: Popovich gets away with being a jerk to the media because his teams consistently win. Granted, you can see that he’s probably a swell egg underneath (note his message to Craig Sager) and that he simply has contempt for the print media for wasting his time nearly every day. Got it.

But he often goes out of his way to be condescending. That act wouldn’t fly if he were coaching the Bucks.

3. Baseball Update

George Springer: His bat is even more valuable than his million-dollar smile.

Lastros rookie George Springer hits his seventh home run in as many games, while…

The Lastros win their sixth straight and now have baseball’s longest win streak because…

The Blue Jays finally lost, to K.C., ending their win streak at nine games despite…

Edwin Encarnacion going yard –twice. That gives Encarnacion five multi-homer games in May and 16 homers this month, one shy of Barry Bonds’ dubious all-time record. My thoughts on that are encapsulated in the kicker line from this classic film scene.

4. Quite a Cameo

Yes, Mick does look like a crazy old cat lady.

The Rolling Stones performed in Lisbon on Wednesday night and were joined onstage for “Tumbling Dice” by Bruce Springsteen. That’s a pretty good old-timer’s lineup. And here’s Bruce earlier this year in New Zealand doing a kick-ass version of Kiwi native Lorde’s “Royals.

5. Oops!

Yeah, baby, yeah! They outed me!

Story from last weekend, sorry I forgot: The CIA head in Afghanistan is inadvertently outed by the White House in a memo about POTUS’ visit to the troops there. And they may have gotten away with it except that they printed a second memo without his name on it.

I mean, if this is the incompetent level of being a sneak we have at our nation’s top levels, I fear for our nation’s welfare.


Carlos Tevez, an Argentinian, was Juventus’ top scorer and mime this season.

Lost amid the Madrid madness with the UEFA Champions League and the excision of Landon Donovan from the USMNT squad of 23, Juventus capped an amazing season in Serie A a little over one week ago. The Turin-based club won its third consecutive league title, or Scedutto, with a record of 33 wins, 2 losses and 3 draws. Los Bianconeri also became the first team in league history to eclipse 100 points (102), based on wins (3 points) and draws (1).

Remote Patrol

Pacers at Heat, Game 6

ESPN 8 p.m.

Does anything else need to be written?

One thought on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. Er, please don’t POP off on me but it was Game 2 in which the Spurs won by 35. BTW, I totally agree with your ‘Pop piece’.

    And even though I don’t find Lance funny whatsoever, I can’t stop watching that clip – LeBron’s reaction makes it! Those big bea-u-ti-ful brown eyes looking off to his right followed by the ‘can-you-believe-I-have-to-deal-with-this-nitwit?’ head shake. Priceless.

    BTW, I have a theory on LS’s shenanigans in Game 5 – the Pacers TOLD him to “go crazy” because they no longer believe they can win a proper game against the Heat. If LS did not have the team’s blessing, then to do all that crazy shit on LIVE TV when you are mere days away from free agency & desperately want the BIG MONEY, you’d REALLY have to be CRAZY. Or just stoopid.

    About the Clippers/Sterlings – the alleged sale price makes me nuts but if that’s what it takes to get rid of both Sterlings, MAYBE it’s worth it. When you are “HATED” MORE than an alleged triple murderer AND the biggest THIEF of all time, the entire country is virtually screaming “BUH-BYE & please, LET the door hit you on the way out!!”

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