Starting Five

The probable NFL MVP’s calf under 303 pounds of pressure

1. Can You Sue Suh?

Suh-spension (n.): “In which a player is punitively held out of a game until the NFL and/or FOX decrees that it would be in the best interests of television ratings to have him reinstated.”

Robert Smith, on ESPN last night, referred to the Detroit Lion defensive lineman as “a classless player.”

Like many, I’m not sure how you overturn the one-game suspension for Ndamukong Suh stomping on Aaron Rodgers’ calf but retain the $70,000 fine. Arbiter Ted Cottrell claimed it was impossible to tell if Suh committed the act with intent. Idiot. All that means is that Suh has gotten better at being a smooth criminal.

Such claimed that he had “cold feet” when he stepped on Rodgers’ leg. You know what? He’s Lion.

Maybe if Roger Goodell and the NFL got a look at another tape of the incident from a different angle…

Lions at Cowboys, Sunday at 4:40 p.m., on FOX….

2. Chubb Thumping

How about Nick Chubb? In a season that began with certain web sites whom we will not name touting Georgia tailback Todd Gurley as its Grange Award favorite (Hey! Who did win that award, after all?), the true freshman rushed for more yards in a single season than anyone in Bulldog history not named Herschel Walker. Not bad for a backup.

Last night the 5-10 shrub from Cedartown, Ga., romped for 266 yards (only Walker, once, rushed for more yards for the Dawgs in a single game) versus the nation’s No. 3 rushing defense, Louisville, in a Belk Bowl win. Chubb finishes the season with 1,550 rushing yards. Not only did Chubb not begin the season atop Georgia’s depth chart, but classmate Sony Michel was the more highly-touted (as opposed to lowly touted) freshman tailback when they both arrived in Athens.

Hat’s off, Leonard (and to the photographer, Brett Duke, who shot this photo)

The real question: Is Chubb the best true freshman tailback in the SEC? If you watched what Leonard Fournette of LSU did –89-yard rushing TD, 100-yard kickoff return–versus Notre Dame in the Music City Bowl yesterday, you’d probably think Fournette is higher on scouts’ draft boards.

3. Plane Crashes; CNN Rejoices

I was seated in an airport bar yesterday when a fellow patron noted to our bartender that having the television tuned to CNN, and its non-stop coverage of the Asian Airlines crash was probably not the greatest marriage of atmosphere.

Then I checked Twitter, where Bill Maher quipped, “CNN with this lost plane is just ‘Nightcrawler’ on a network level.”

Sure, it’s awful that 162 or so people perished. But how many of them were known to anyone watching in America? And there are approximately 100,000 flights worldwide each day. So, yes, this is a tragedy. But if the idea is that this is news that you should find relevant to your own welfare, well, CNN would do better focusing on carbonated beverages or pretzel burgers.

I know. What a crank I have become…

4. Birthday Boys

Yesterday was LeBron James’ 30th and Tiger Woods’ 39th birthday (or, if they lived in Westeros, it was their “name day”). Anyway, it got me to thinking, if their careers ended today, whose was more illustrious?*

LeBron: two NBA championships, four league MVPs, most points (and uncalled traveling violations) of anyone under the age of 30 in NBA history.

Tiger: 14 majors plus Elin Nordegren AND Lindsey Vonn.

You decide.

*Sometimes I’m inspired to write entire entries solely to piss off Susie B.

5. Quips and Clips

Conan discovers Tinder…

It’s the last day and the last item of 2014 and…you just want to be finished already (Phyllis is making lasagna in the kitchen! Are you kidding me!?!). So Mediaite has been kind enough to compile this clip-fest of the year’s best late-night comedy/talk show clips. Missing: Colbert’s finale.

P.S. Jimmy Fallon is a very talented dude…when he’s not talking. His compliments are meaningless because that’s the only tune he ever plays with guests. I know people adore him; I find him virtually unwatchable.

Remote Patrol

Fiesta Bowl: Boise State vs. Arizona

ESPN 4 p.m.

In-state team versus the post-millennial Fiesta Bowl darlings. Enjoy…


One thought on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. 😉

    The REAL questions on this final day of 2014 –

    Still thinking it was a GOOD MOVE for LeBron to go back to Cleveland & that this team (as currently assembled) is going to make it even past the 1st round of the Playoffs?

    And how are you liking your boy Johnny Ca$h after his 1st NFL season? Ahem, if you scroll back into your archives, you will see *I* must be psychic – about both his on & off the field endeavors. However, as for the brouhaha AND INCORRECT reporting of his “throwing a party” & being late for his “treatment” the next day. ARE THEY KIDDING? 1st of all, he did NOT “throw a party”, he was out “partying” at a club. You can see some 70 year old editor (yes, older than me!) read some tweet about Manziel “partying” & did not realize “party” became a verb 35-40 years ago. Next thing you know, MAINSTREAM media is reporting that the guy threw a party. (sigh). Plus, the guy was not going to play in the final game, so his season was pretty much over except for standing on the sideline. So, he was late or missed his MASSAGE on Saturday? ALERT THE MEDIA! Give me a friggin break. But back to me being a psychic – told you he was a punk. 😉

    And yes, I’m a tad cranky as I had been looking forward to watching LeBron beat the snot out of some team on his big 3-0 birthday last night (me & NBA-TV, who were NOT amused by the late scratch) & all I got to see is Sweet Pea sitting on the sideline chomping on his fingernails. The boy needs more carbs, I’m tellin’ ya!

    HAPPY NEW YEAR, jdubs!

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