by John Walters
1. Sepp-tic Removal*
Friday: “I am the president of everybody!”
Tuesday: He is the president of nobody.
Sepp Blatter, now in his 17th year as head of FIFA, declares a need for “profound reform” and “deep-rooted structural change” within that same body. But he doesn’t seem to see a causal connection here. It’s not a lie if you believe it, Jerry.
Blatter resigned. The same day that ESPN’s Bob Ley re-signed. Hashmarks are important.
Blatter resigned on the same day that world No. 2 Roger Federer was ousted from the French Open, which puts a new wrinkle in “Swiss Timing.”
If you read just one story today (besides mine) concerning the KerFIFAl, read this one.
*The judges are accepting numerous nominees, from “S. Blatter” to “Blatter Removal” to “The Gall of Blatter” to “Sepp’in Out”
2. How You Doin’?*
With Adrian Beltre on the DL, 21 year-old Joey Gallo is called up and goes 3 for 4, including a 430-foot smash off Jeff Samardzija in the 3rd inning. Gallo finished the night against the Chicago White Sox with a double and a single as well and four RBI.
Can we agree right here that “Joey” is a terrific sports name? Perhaps not quite as good as “Barkevious,” but still pretty good.
If Joey Gallo continues to play with such aplomb, the city of Arlington may name a street after him. They’ll call it Joey Gallo Way (and to think I’m not talented enough to be one of Katie Nolan’s 14 writers!).
*Please tell me you saw what I did there….
3. The Wonder Of It All
As noted yesterday, I’m drawn to people who live before they die. And I’m equally drawn to those who understand that as inhabitants of earth, we’re renters, not buyers.
Zita Cobb, who created the Fogo Island Inn to help preserve a sublime island community in Newfoundland (story in Newsweek).
Dean Potter, who may have seemed a little bonkers to you, but who felt a kinship with the wilderness and fearlessly found ways to connect with it before he ultimately died on May 16th in Yosemite National Park (my story in Newsweek is here).
Timothy Treadwell, a.k.a., Grizzly Man, whom you may think was far more bonkers. And while I agree to an extent, it’s worth nothing that Treadwell did last TWELVE summers living among brown bears in Alaska where most would’ve given him 12 minutes. And, I’m a fan of anyone who fights for wild animals and exposes poachers.
And finally, Laird Hamilton, who is hailed as a surf god and sex god, but who really is no less out there than the other two men I just mentioned. Hamilton routinely surfs waves that are 25 to 50 feet tall (read The Wave by Susan Casey; highly recommended). That’s tantamount to suicide, too. You may argue that Hamilton is skilled, arguably the world’s best big wave surfer. Well, Potter was the world’s greatest climber and Treadwell probably the world’s best ursine survivalist.
In the end, I don’t care that any of them don’t conform to what most of us consider normal. I feel confident saying that none of them would trade their lives for ours. We all die of natural causes. It’s how we live that matters. And there really is no blueprint.
4. Come Hull or High Water
In China a violent storm causes a cruise ship, the Eastern Star, to quickly capsize in the Yangtze River. More than 450 passengers were aboard and most died.
5. New Girl
Leave it to Jon Stewart to put Bruce Jenner’s transformation to Caitlyn Jenner, and the media’s coverage of it, in proper perspective.
They say you better listen to the voice of reason/But they don’t give you any choice because they say it’s treason
He usurped the King of Rock ‘n Roll’s first name and Buddy Holly’s look, and yet Elvis Costello was dauntingly original, and wrote brilliant lyrics. Weird. Here he is in 1979 before he got into writing ballads for romcoms (Notting Hill) in the Nineties.
Stanley Cup finals, Game 1
Blackhawks at Lightning
NBC 8 p.m.
Prime-time, network hockey. There’s hope for us all yet.
TCM 9:30 p.m.
Rita Hayworth. This is what all the fuss was about. Ask Andy Dufresne.