by John Walters
“Terrorism” or “Hate Crime”? Does it matter? Nine people are dead after a gunman opened fire during a prayer service at the Emanuel AME Church. It’s all ignorance and fear, anyway. I’ll just point out that the killer, Dylann Roof, allegedly told the victims that they are all “rapists” and that they “have to go,” while just two days earlier a certain billionaire announced his presidential candidacy and circled another minority group whose “rapists” have infiltrated our borders.
Too politically charged? You decide.
2. Brian’s Swan Song
NBC announces that it is keeping Brian Williams but that he will no longer be its Nightly News anchor. Instead, he has been demoted to MSNBC. It’s like when Sterling, Cooper, Draper, Pryce “welcomed” Don back but then had him write tags for Peggy Olson’s Burger Chef account. On the other hand Williams is slated to make $10 million per year for the next five years. Do the work, Don.
3. Between Two Trees
Our friend Moose, who occasionally cracks our list of “Top 10 Blonde Canadians” (who don’t all have to be blonde or necessarily Canadian) recently purchased a hammock. The suspended animation has given her time to reflect on a lot of things. She offers “10 Lessons from the Hammock.”
4. Bank > Banks
San Antonio Spur legend Tim Duncan alleges that he lost approximately $20 million to former financial advisor Charles Banks between the years 2005-2013. That’s approximately 15% of his career earnings. I’m sure the irony of his advisor’s surname is not amusing to The Big Fundamental today.
5. Stephanie on the March
New on the market: Stephanie March, former Law & Order SVU D.A., whose marriage to Bobby Flay is ending (is he still after Ari Gold’s wife?), and Charlize Theron, who has split up with Sean Penn.
Band on the Run
Well the rain exploded with a mighty crash/As we fell into the sun
Birthday boy Paul McCartney recorded the entire album of the same name in Lagos, Nigeria, with just his wife, Linda, and musician Denny Laine. This tune topped the charts and deservedly so, in April of 1974.
The New High: Extreme Sports
CNBC 10 p.m.
Host Carl Quintanilla examines the growing fascination with “purposeful suffering,” a topic I’m all too familiar with. I ride the subway every day.
Don’t mock the hammock. Suspended reality is where you can ‘let it be’.
Hang in there, Moose!
Lagos, Nigeria would NOT be in my Top 100 places to record an album. I bet a Nigerian Prince (who built his fortune on unfortunate circumstances) financed that gig.