by John Walters

Julianne Hough turns 27. She’s beautiful but I’m loathe to share any spicy gossip with her. Why? Because she can’t keep a Seacrest.

Starting Five

The driver of the red truck actually ran from the scene into the woods, but was soon captured.

1. Relative Dangers

The internet exploded after this video of Mick Fanning being inspected by a shark surfaced (as did the shark… “surfaced,” that is; not “exploded.” What do you think this is, Jaws?). Anyway, I get the fascination, but not the concern.

On the same day that Fanning “survived” the shark attack in South Africa — arguably the best thing that has ever happened to pro surfing — four young women were killed in Long Island when the limo they were riding in was broadsided by an allegedly drunk driver. The irony being that the women were on a wine tour of the North Fork of Long Island and had hired the limo so that no one would be put in a position of driving while impaired.

Brian Kilmeade of FOX News, who actually gets paid to opine on air, wondered why we can’t “clear the waters” of sharks — at least where surfing competitions are held — so that no people will be harmed.

ZERO Americans died from shark attacks in the continental USA in the past two years. Four women died in Long Island on Saturday due to a drunk driver attack — and arguably bad judgment by the limo driver. The point isn’t that sharks and drunk drivers are connected. It’s that the relative fear over sharks is so irrational while the relative apathy toward drunk driving is so jarring. But I guess it’s easier for us to see monsters that we do not ourselves become.

2. “Do You Know Who I Am? I’m Moe Greene!”

R.I.P. to Alex Rocca, 79, who played Moe “There’s No ‘Eye’ in” Greene in The Godfather. This scene not only includes Al Pacino and Robert Duvall, but two of the best character actors you’ll ever see: Rocca and John Cazale as Fredo Corleone.

Moe Greene never played defensive tackle for the Pittsburgh Steelers. I felt that I should add that.

3. Holding On For a Hero

The item is about Trump, but it’s also Giselle’s birthday and both I and Trump would rather look at a photo of her.


I think Donald Trump confused “hero” with “winner.” They’re not the same.

Then again, Donald owned the news cycle on Sunday and if it weren’t for a certain shark, he’d have it all to himself. Trump may not have much character — a five-time deferment even opining on someone else’s Vietnam service is laughable — but he certainly is one helluva character. He’s crazy like a (that thing atop his head).

4. “Duck Season?” “Wabbit Season?” “Earnings Season!”

Gordon says Hi

The economy is relatively healthy (sorry if you don’t have a job; sorrier if you have two), China and Greece fears have subsided, and lots of companies are announcing quarterly earnings in the second half of July.

You heard me mention Netflix last week — up 26% in just one week leading up to earnings announcement. Google rose 30% in the week or so leading up to and including its earnings.

Both stocks have returned slightly back to earth today, but both have done very well in the past fortnight. And it’s not as if either was a dark horse entering the month.

As my friend Eric says, “Buy on the promise, sell on the news.”

How does this help you? Apple (AAPL) reports tomorrow, as does GoPro (GPRO) and Chipotle (CMG). Amazon (AMZN) reports after the bell on Thursday. My guess is that all four will be up at least 10% dating from their lowest point a week ago through at least two days after earnings. And that’s a conservative estimate.

Do your own research. But I’m rolling the dice with Apple and Amazon.

5. Putting the “O” in Dodger

Greinke’s wife, Emily, whom he met in high school, is a former Miss Daytona Beach and former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader. Yes, I am totally and unapologetically TBL’ing it today.

Orel Hershiser: 59 consecutive scoreless innings in 1988.

Don Drysdale: 58 consecutive scoreless innings in 1968.

And now Zack Greinke, who is at 43 2/3 consecutive scoreless innings.

All three, Los Angeles Dodgers.

Grinch’s next start is Friday against the New York Mets, who have the NL’s lowest batting average and have scored its fewest runs. Yesterday the Mets were 1 for 25 with RISP before  scoring the winning runs in an 18-inning affair at St. Louis, albeit versus baseball’s best team.

I see the Mets scoring off Greinke in the first 3 innings, probably with their pitcher getting the RBI.

Music 101

Betcha By Golly, Wow

They don’t get enough credit today, but The Stylistics were Philly R&B in the early Seventies. This song made it to No. 3 on the Billboard chart.

2 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. “That’s it. All the sharks out of here. We’re trying to have a surfing competition here. Let’s say 500 meters away from nearest competitor.”

  2. So, if those N.C. sharks munching on the human buffet the past month had been drunk, THEN you’d be all over it?

    As for “not getting the concern” over shark attacks – do you not go in the water at the beach? I used to make fun of my older sister who after seeing JAWS never again has put as much as her big toe in the ocean. And she owned a condo in Ocean City, MD for over 15 years! And then I read ‘Close to Shore’ a few years back about the Summer of 1916 & the shark attacks along the Atlantic Coast at a time LONG before instant & mass communication let alone ‘social media’ & when vacationing at the beach (or as they say in NJ/Phil & Baltimore – “the shore”) was just then becoming a family summer thing to do. I believe those attacks inspired Benchley’s novel decades later. Anyhoo, that book scared the crap out of me, especially when the one shark swam up a FRESHWATER stream a few MILES from the ocean & “attacked” & killed a few humans splashing around. Can you imagine being attacked by a shark at your
    “ole swimming hole”? They didn’t even know what hit (bit) them. I did laugh though at the NYC “expert” who adamantly insisted the attacks were NOT by sharks (“impossible” he said) but by “giant mackerels”.

    As for swimming in money, as YOU seem to be doing with your investments, congrats & yep, Google FINALLY got a move on (too bad I only own 4 shares, 2 of ‘A’ & 2 of ‘C’) & AMZN continues making me happy that I bought back in Nov 2008 AND YET ALSO depressed/upset that I did not put ALL my opening stock money into it instead of “diversifying” into RIM & RIG too. And speaking of “attacks”, watching what has been happening to the oil & gas sector (of which I am heavily invested) has been like that JAWS early sequence with the girl swimming in the ocean alone…..ON REPEAT.

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