by John Walters

Happy Birthday, Jill, Sabrina and Jill! Born 39 years ago today….

and also…

Happy Birthday to Mitch and the gang, born 26 years ago today. So many people who were saved in 3 feet of water owe your their lives.

Starting Five*

*Apologies for the twilight edition. The staff has been busy doing that job that pays the bills.

Francis XI: “Will I be able to check into my hotel before the series premiere of ‘Quantico’?”

1. XI’s The One

Yes he’s comin’

To your sacris-tay,

If you wanna papal blessin’ for your ying yang,

Or you want some absolution for your ting tang….

Pope Francis XI lands outside of Washington, D.C. as Twitter girds itself for Latino immigrant quips.

2. Cruz Control

Last night on Colbert (Don’t make me call it The Late Show; at least not yet), GOP candidate Senator Ted Cruz. I thought he acquitted himself well, even if I disagree with some of his points, until he decided to refer to Supreme Court justices as “five lawyers in Washington.” By that standard, he’s just an Ivy League twit.

Colbert’s intro was a jab: “My next guest is a first-term Senator and has an immigrant father (he could’ve added “and a Harvard law degree”). No, it’s not a rerun of 2008.”

Here’s the thing about Ted Cruz for me. He’s smart, but he’s not very warm. No chuckles. No charm. Does that matter? Personally, I think it does in that job. But your mileage may vary.

Tonight on Colbert: the big fish, El Trumper-ino. Set your Twitter to “Hot Fire.”

3. Yes, He’s An Absolute Jerk…But Is He a Good Capitalist?

Martin Shkreli: If you loved him in Harold & Maude….

By now, I imagine, you know who Martin Shkreli is: 32, hedge-funder, makes a boatload of cash, buys a small pharma company (Turing) that happens to make a drug, Daraprim, that AIDS patients need.

Shkreli then raises the price of one tablet of the drug from $13.50 to $750, a 5,500% increase, presumably between bites of lobster mac and cheese at Del Frisco’s. Tells The New York Times, “It really doesn’t make any sense to get any criticism for this.”

Please, America, if you happen not to live in New York or San Francisco: humans of this level of douchebaggery really do exist. I’ve met them. I’ve served them.

Two thoughts: Let’s say you or I were to overpower Mr. Shkreli (I think you could) and hold his head underwater. Every 20 seconds you’d pull him up and tell him that a gasp of air would cost him $100 and ask how he would like to pay. Now, from a consequences standpoint, is there any real difference between that and what he is doing?

On the other hand, when you mix for-profit businesses with life-saving measures, who is the one to decide what is fair? What if water were not a utility? You’re going to have to pay for it if you want to survive, no? Now, imagine when some company spends millions or billions on a drug that will save people’s lives. Without their investment, the drug does not exist. So who are any of us to tell them what their price point must be?

That’s all I have to say about that…

4. Selfie-Assisted Suicide

So that dude who died taking a selfie at the Taj Mahal? That makes 12 selfie-related deaths this year worldwide (reported), as opposed to 8 shark-related deaths. Does that mean the selfie-stick should be hunted out of existence?

5. Where In The World?

Hint: This is not Dubai or anywhere in the UAE.

Yesterday: Trondheim, Norway.

Music 101

Up, Up and Away

You (or maybe I) forget how many classic Sixties pop songs for which The Fifth Dimension are responsible. That’s lead singer Marilyn McCoo. There’s no song that was better built for Muzak, but this is one of those tunes that I loved hearing when I was in the back seat of the wood-paneled station wagon circa 1971.

The song won THREE individual Grammys in 1968, including Song of the Year, and is the apotheosis of what was known as “Sunshine Pop.”

Remote Patrol

The Muppets

ABC 8 p.m.

It’s time to put on makeup. It’s time to light the lights…

Is there anyone who didn’t love the original Muppet Show? Funny, very funny, with some heart thrown in. I was always a Fozzie guy myself. Hoping this new show isn’t all about Miss Piggy.

2 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. But Turing didn’t develop that drug, it is 60-some years old. I thought the whole idea of limited patents on drugs was to prevent just this kind of thing from happening; that once a drug went generic, anyone could make it & competition keeps the price down. I did not know that lowlife companies could “buy the marketing rights” of old drugs & then extort the public. Stupid me, apparently this has been going on for years, all with the “approval” of the FDA.

    Actually, what this scum-sucking twerp has done is make the American public wonder if ALL HEALTHCARE should be viewed as a “right” & thus FREE. Why should profits of ‘utilities’ be capped & not that of the healthcare industries?

    Sure, we currently live in a capitalist society, but the masses can be pushed to where they just “CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE”. Hellooooo, guillotine! Actually, I’m sure the other 1% have frantically imparted their wisdom to moth-brained Marty the need to keep obscene wealth/lifestyle/power on the down-low, heck, they’ve been screeching about a “class war” against them since at least 2009. And with Shkreli to “represent” them, they should be worried. I remember when I 1st read about the French Revolution & how the masses would gleefully gather for the non-stop beheadings & I used to wonder what was WRONG with those folks, how could they find such cruel deaths entertaining? Well, if all the French royals & aristocrats were like Shrekli, now we know… All it takes is one little tipping point…

  2. Selfie-sticks don’t kill people…people accidentally kill people, especially the STOOPID ones. Anybody check if these people are from Flori-duh? Or at least had visited there recently?

    What’s the dumbest physical-thing you’ve ever done? Was it on a dare? Trying to impress a girl? One-upping your brother? Growing up on the farm, I did some lame-brained things which AT THE TIME seemed, you know, “cool”. Like walking across our barn rafters 30 feet up. Nothing to ‘break my fall’ but a hay thrasher ready to rip me to shreds if I fell. What a nitwit! And *I* had yet to visit Flori-duh. What kind of mischief did you get into out in the desert? No offense, but you’re a guy, you had a brother growing up, you HAD to do something dumb. 🙂

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