by John Walters

Happy 58th birthday to Dolph Lundgren! “You will lose!”

Starting Five

“My dad played in the NBA!”… “Jinx!”… “Jinx again!”

1. Stephen Up

I’m sorry, but Steph Curry is about to has become my male Taylor Swift. The Warriors aboded the Grizzlies by 50 last night and in doing so set a record for largest margin of victory after four games of an NBA season (combined, that is): 100 points.

Curry had 30 points, which drops his scoring average to 37.0 ppg.

Can we ask, How good a coach is Luke Walton, by the way? 4-0 in his first four NBA games with a margin-of-victory record.

Also, may we ask, Isn’t it about time that Curry earned a righteous nickname? That was the wonderful thing about the Seventies: almost everyone in sports had a nickname.

Finally, here’s Steph and Mrs. Steph lip-synching doing a Dubsmash of a song from Frozen. Adorable. Also, the kid even has acting skills.

2. Grimes & Misdemeanors (a.k.a., The Daily Harrumph)

This is what makes Brian Van Gorder such an excellent underling: he knows when not to pay attention.

Notre Dame football coach Brian Kelly does his weekly press conference at noon today and he is going to be asked about the above. Hopefully, he’ll have a better answer than he did Sunday. 

There are a few points worth making: 1) It is never a good look to put your hands on a staffer and push him/grab him. Never. Understood. 2) Don’t compare this situation to your office, unless you have co-workers who wear helmets. Violent sports such as football and hockey come with a little more testosterone attached. 3) What if David Grimes, a former Notre Dame wide receiver, had been a recidivist offender in terms of chirping at the refs? What if he had been warned by coaches, even by the referee, not to do this again? At this moment the Irish had just received a 15-yard penalty for tripping (on center Nick Martin, who was penalized thrice in the game) and I doubt Kelly was going to be happy about being penalized 30 yards.

I’m sure Kelly knows that he needs to control his temper better. That’s a terrible look for him. And today he will come out, sharply dressed, and field questions with his usual calm and composure. Probably best for him to say, “No matter the circumstance, I need to handle myself better in a moment like that” and if people ask if he has apologized to Grimes, he can say, “We’ve discussed it.”

3. Layers of Wrong

Corn Elder (far right for Miami), who scored the game-winning TD for the Canes, was named ACC Special Teams Player of the Week, while I named the ACC “Mixed Signal Sender of the Week.” And yes that’s a block in the back.

I still cannot shake Miami-Duke, for a few reasons:

1. I’m hearing like 3% in terms of reaction of what a great play Miami made, penalties and mistakes aside. Sorry, but one week after losing 58-0 at home and firing your coach, that was pretty incredible. Duke was 6-1, after all.

2. Why are so many people asking how come the outcome of the game cannot be overturned (good luck retrieving your money from your bookie) as opposed to asking, How come a video replay official cannot see what so many of us saw? What is the reason for that systemic breakdown?

3. The outcomes of games, no matter how incompetently officiated (Don Denkinger, Bush Push, 5th Down, etc.) should never be posthumously overturned. Never. I don’t want to have to wake up the next morning as a fan to find out if my team still won after I watched them win last night.

Video Replay: What could possibly go wrong?

4. Remember when video replay was going to “get it right?” Yes, and wasn’t Titanic unsinkable? Does anyone really believe that by allowing someone in a league office to overturn the outcome of a game you’re going to eliminate errors?

Oh, yeah, that. (Is this the first time Titanic has ever been used as a metaphor?)

5. Meanwhile, what if it had been Miami-Clemson? And what if ACC officials, knowing their best shot to land a team in the CFB playoff was the Tigers, overturned the loss? Now you’ve got another team far outside the ACC whose CFB Playoff fate may be affected by a decision a few self-interested execs made in a board room. That’s not what sport should be about.

6. Not the main issue here, but Miami beat Duke with an interim coach and a backup QB. Also, and this is what amuses me to no end, let’s just say the only thing wrong with the final play was whether his knee was down. And so I ask you, Is Duke’s final TD any more legit, i.e., Did he cross the plane?, than Miami’s? (at 0:54)

And you say, “Well, sure it was, they confirmed it on review.” Oh, so that play is legit because video replay confirmed it but Miami’s is not even though they confirmed it on video replay? “Yeah, but I can see that his knee was down,” you reply. And see the essential paradox of that? It’s not about video replay being the final verdict. It’s about it confirming what you think.

4. Troll Job

Remember Amazon, the company whose newfangled style of retail threatened to put so many brick-and-mortar stores, particularly bookstores, out of business? Well, now Amazon is opening a physical book store, just like the type you used to visit before you could order books on-line from Amazon or read them via Kindle, in Seattle. That is some massive trolling, Jeff Bezos.

Waiting for Ford to come out with a 2016 “Horse and Buggy F-10.”

Maybe Amazon just wants to “re-Kindle” our love of visiting bookstores and hanging out.

5. Where In The World?

Hint: Bill Murray once golfed in its shadow

Monday’s Answer: Munich Residenz

Music 101 


Remember, it’s “Show Tunes Week” at Medium Happy. It hasn’t happened in quite some time, but Broadway showstoppers used to occasionally climb onto the Billboard Top 40 charts (“Memories” from Cats, for example) and inundate your AM radio. When I was a lad in 1977, a cute tween named Andrea McCardle became a household name for singing this hit from Annie.

Remote Patrol

College Football Playoff

ESPN 7 p.m.

Don not forget Fournette

Gentlemen, start your anger. Where’s TCU? What does Oklahoma State have to do to garner some respect? And whither undefeated Toledo, who will host Northern Illinois on ESPN2 at 8 p.m.? Not to worry. The field will soon sort itself out as just this weekend LSU visits Bama, Florida State takes a trip to Clemson, and TCU travels to Oklahoma State. That’s six teams ranked in the Top 17 all meeting one another.

6 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. It’s funny that you use Titanic in your Duke-Miami Pts of Contention as that’s the 1st thing that popped into my mind when reading your pt#1 (that more people aren’t acknowledging the Hurricane’s miraculously great 8-lateral play) – & why yes, that Titanic was a damn fine ship! 🙂

    Question – if Brian Kelly acts like that (out-of-control, bully-like, etc) on a sideline in a nationally televised game in front of tens of thousands of on-the-scene eyeballs, millions more via TV & billions more via youtube/twitter, what is he like at practice? Even MORE out of control or does this only happen during the “stress” of a game? It’s not the worst thing I’ve ever seen a Head Coach do during a game & holding back or nudging (ok, pushing) an asst coach is not exactly a unicorn sighting, but you’re right – this is NOT a good look for Kelly or ND. I understand the stress of the moment but he should feel utterly embarrassed & apologize privately & publicly to that assistant. And then get ready for the next game.

    I LOVE bookstores. I LOVE Amazon. But I thought an Amazon bookstore only existed in Heaven! Think there will be a “Belinda Carlisle” room?

    Ok, sure, Steph’s been personally scoring ’60-70′ pts a game & the Warriors are sandblasting every opponent-team brave or foolish enough to actually show up on the court. But WHO just became the youngest NBA player to ever score 25,000 pts? Yep, LeBron ‘Sweet Pea’ James. I think he’s currently 20th on the All-Time list but should move up to at least 14th this year & that’s with only averaging 20 pts/game. Let the young whippersnappers score 40-50/night, tiring out those legs in the regular season.

    And sure, I belted out “Tomorrow, toMORrow, I luv ya, tomorrow!” at camp (especially on hikes) & in the car with friends & fam, but ‘It’s the Hard Luck Life for Us!’ was the song of choice while working the “shit line” at the Main Dining Hall at UM. Ah, the good old days…

  2. Good grief – it’s the “Hard KNOCK life”! See what you have to look forward to once you cross the ’50’ line? ^@&%@#

  3. One more thing – don’t you think the Warriors have come blasting out of the gate because they all became IRATE when the media (social & otherwise) began stating the Warriors “only” won the championship because THEY were “SO LUCKY” while all their most worthy opponents were wrecked by injuries?

    If I didn’t know better, I’d think Steve Kerr started calling up all his old media buddies (while recovering from back surgery this summer) , feeding them this hoo-ha. How else do you get the current champs to also be a “Nobody Believes in Us!” team? It’s GEEEENIUS!

    Also, they WERE lucky! Even if that’s not the sole reason they won the big trophy.

  4. Bill Murray ‘looped’ (caddied) in its shadow.

    Golf is a noun, not a verb. You would never say McEnroe tennised at Wimbledon.

  5. I’ll grant you the “golfed” faux pas, but I don’t think he looped in its shadow. I think he played golf in its shadow.


  6. Speaking of Amazons, I had a chance encounter with the birthday boy, Dolph Lundgren and his sinewy sidekick Grace Jones many moons ago in Maui. #TheIntimidators

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