by John Walters

Happy 23rd birthday, Alena Shishkova!

Starting Five

Sophomore MLB Josey Jewell is Iowa’s leading tackler. The only other offer he got was from Northern Iowa.

1. Offense or Defense?

Maybe the Big 12 and Big Ten should have a round robin tournament. Last night the second CFP Rankings were released. Here’s your teams, with B1G in bold and BIG 12 IN CAPS:

1. Clemson

2. Alabama

3. Ohio State

4. Notre Dame

5. Iowa


7. Stanford


9. lsu

10. Utah

11. Florida


13. Michigan State

14. Michigan

15 TCU

Corey Coleman of Baylor leads the nation in TD catches (20) and receiving ypg (147) but it won’t matter unless Baylor goes 3-0 the rest of the way.

So, basically, the B1G’s top two unbeatens are both ahead of the Big 12’s top two unbeatens. Now, note that the Big 12 has four schools in the Top 7 in the nation in SCORING OFFENSE, including the Top 3: Baylor, TCU and Oklahoma.

Meanwhile, the B1G has four of the Top 8 teams in the nation in Scoring Defense, including the Top 2: Michigan and Wisconsin. Ohio State is No. 6 and Iowa is No. 8. Jeff Long and the committee can say whatever they want, but clearly they appear to value stout defense above explosive offense (so do I, by the way). But that’s what is driving their rankings.

2. U Can’t Handle the Poop!

One news outlet claims that the offending image is actually a year old and may not come from the Mizzou campus

Did the Mizzou Poop Swastika actually happen? Now comes evidence that it is a hoax. People will say, “Even if it is a hoax, that doesn’t excuse racism?” No, it doesn’t excuse rape or genocide, either, but what does that have to do with the price of eggs?

And, by the way, what does a poop swastika have to do with being solely African-American? And didn’t anyone ever live in a men’s dorm? I’m pretty sure I came across more than a few Poop Peace Signs and Poop Escher Prints in college.

3. “But How Am I Supposed to Win My $$$ Back?”

DraftKings and FanDuel are gambling (and grammatically incorrect).
The New York Stock Exchange is investing.

Carry on.

4. Nice Guy Finishes First

It’s also Demi Moore’s 53rd birthday. She used to date Ashton Kutcher before he decided to shack up with a woman who looks exactly like Demi’s daughter.

Joe McKeehen, 25, who was the chip leader throughout the final rounds of the WSOP and who seems like a genuinely nice guy even if he looks a little too much like an adult version of the kid from Two and a Half Men, wins the big pot — and the coveted bracelet—at the Main Event. A cool $7.6 million, with no attitude.

On the final hand, McKeehen held an A-10 when his opponent went all in with a pair of fours. McKeehen caught a 10 on the flop and the rest was legalized gambling-in-Nevada history.

Meanwhile in California, someone bought a lottery ticket at a 7-11 in Chatsworth in early August that turned out to be a $63 million winner. The problem is, they have yet to claim their prize. If no one does so by February 4, it becomes the largest unclaimed lottery prize in history. Was this you, Markazi???

5. Where In The World?

Yesterday: Wieliczka Salt Mine, Poland

Music 101

Live and Let Die

Paul McCartney and Wings performed the title track — key change! — from the 1973 Bond film starring Roger Moore. When you’ve got a job to do/You’ve got to do it well/You’ve got to give the other fella/Helllllllllll! The tune made it all the way to No. 2 on the Billboard charts, the highest-charting Bond theme to that point.

Remote Patrol

The Longest Day 


There’s James Bond leading the charge

This 1962 film, which won 2 Oscars and was nominated for three others, is the perfect complement to Saving Private Ryan and a great idea for Veterans Day. It tells the story of D-Day from both the Allied and German side, and its special effects, considering the time, are outstanding (even if no one seems to bleed when they get shot). As for star power, how’s this: Sean Connery, Robert Mitchum, John Wayne, Robert Wagner, Henry Fonda, Paul Anka, Richard Beymer, Roddy McDowall and Fabian.

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