by John Walters

A Medium Happy 56th to the lovely Patricia Clarkson, UWS neighbor and avatar of independent films made in the NYC area

Starting Five

Couch, his blond hair dyed, violated the terms of his probation. His beer pong days are likely behind him.

1. This Isn’t Zihuatanejo, And You Are No Andy Dufresne

Adolescent affluenza mass murderer (four lives) Ethan Couch is captured, along with his mom, Tonya Couch, in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. So is this more Shawshank Redemption or is it more Y Tu Mama, Tambien? The Texas teen, now 18, faces extradition home and, possibly, to quote another film, one that deals with unlikely lawbreakers, Office Space, a “pound me in the ass” prison.

2. Peyton’s Place 

I don’t know who is telling the truth, and neither do you. Here’s whose opinion means nothing to me: any sports agent (Leigh Sternberg appeared on CNBC this morning to discuss it) and any ex-NFL player appearing on ESPN or any other network.

Here’s the things: Peyton Manning is as unassailable a brand as Lance Armstrong once was, as O.J. Simpson once was.

–He admitted that he visited the Guyer Institute, has received treatment there and gotten medication from them.

–He acknowledged, or at least did not deny, that his wife Ashley may have had HGH shipments sent to their home in her name.

–The Al Jazeera report never goes further than saying that the HGH was shipped to Peyton’s place. It implies certain things, and you and I may infer certain things.

Peyton Manning, who was recovering from possible career-ending neck surgery at the time in question, may be telling the truth. Most sports fans would like to believe that he is. But Peyton is a big boy. If he is “disgusted” that a report linking HGH shipments to the home of the most marketable player in the NFL has surfaced, but is unable to deny the verity of the report itself, then he needs an infusion of Reality Serum. His wife’s medical privacy is inviolable, sure, but he can’t pretend that these circumstances don’t open him up to a barrage of questions.

3. 10 Best List (First of Many, You May Assume)

Veni, Vidi & Vinci

Roberta Vinci. Jalen Watts-Jackson. Holly Holm. Joey Bautista. They were just some of the prime figures in the 10 Most Unforgettable Sports Moments of 2015. Warning: I’m totally and shamelessly cross-promoting, and possibly even cross-pollinating, here.

4. 1000X Club

Still the most valuable Amazon we have encountered

This morning shares of Amazon (AMZN) vaulted $18 per, to an all-time high of $694. That means that for the first time, AMZN is selling at more than 1,000 times earnings (the P/E). In terms even I can understand, think of a lemonade stand that earns $200 a year and then you are able to value that lemonade stand at $200,000. Because that’s what’s happening.

If AAPL stock, which sells at 12x earnings at $108 per share, had the same valuation, they’d be asking more than $9,000 per share.

Related: Get ready for a sequel to The Big Short starring a clean-pated Kevin Spacey as Jeff Bezos.

5. The Road’s Closed, Bitch!

Interstate 40 in New Mexico, a favorite thoroughfare of Walter White and Jesse Pinkman as they drove the Crystal Ship out to To’hajiilee to cook, was closed over the weekend east of Albuquerque, past Tucumcari, into the Texas panhandle and even parts of Oklahoma due to the winter storm.

If you’re familiar with that part of the American southwest, when I-40 is shut down, all traffic is halted.


Music 101


Think about the glut of musical talent that was filling the airwaves in the mid-Sixties (the Beatles, Beach Boys, Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan and the Supremes, just to name a few), and then consider that The Association placed two songs at No. 1 on the Billboard chart in that era. This, their second, owned the top spot in July of 1967. It was written not by any member of the six-man band, but rather by a woman, Ruthann Friedman, who was just 23 at the time.

p.s. There’s a theme to this week’s tunes. If you haven’t gotten it yet, it should become fairly clear tomorrow.

Remote Patrol


TCM 8 p.m.

Zank heavens/For little gurrrrls…” That is the extent of my knowledge of this 1958 musical, but it did win NINE Oscars, including Best Picture, so someone must have done something right. Although, in the “To Catch a Predator” world in which we now sadly live, can you find a creepier set of lyrics?  Zualors!

Other things on TV include the Kennedy Center Honors on CBS at 9 (Carole King gets her star on the Washington Mall, or something like that), Pitch Perfect on ABC Family at 8, and Baylor (minus just about everyone you’d want to see) versus North Carolina in the “We Wish We Had Seth Russell Athletic Bowl” on ESPN at 5:30 p.m.

2 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. So, what do you think your boy Kobe injected/applied/ingested all those times he went to “Germany”?

    Also, by not mentioning that the “source” has now RECANTED & admitted that he LIED about everything (including not even interning there the year Peyton went to the clinic) is omitting an important piece of this story.

    And if an athlete is not playing that entire season due to injury & rehab, I have NO PROBLEM with them taking HGH if it helps the recovery process. I guess I would draw the line at being allowed to take it during a season or if not injured. BUT, you say – surely any athlete can pay some quack to state they are injured when they are really not, just to be allowed to take HGH. True. But, don’t we WANT to see our sporting idols last &/or stay at the top of his ability as long as possible? If this stuff helps accomplish this, isn’t that a good thing? And hey, at least it’s not DEER ANTLER SPRAY or MAGNETIC STICKERS…

    And the question is : WHERE is that lemonade stand? If it’s location projects yearly sales of $100,000 then a sales price of $200,000 is steal. You know what they say – location, location, location. And in the stock world – GROWTH projection is “location”. I’m beginning to think you’re a bit grumpy that you too did not buy AMZN at $36. 🙂

    Meanwhile, one of my spinoff stocks has become delisted. Win some, lose some.

    And surely, LeBron removing his headband during a game & only occasionally wearing since should at LEAST be #10?! 🙂

  2. You’re right, Susie. I’d written a graf on Charlie Sly’s assertion/recanting and deleted it temporarily. Well, I meant to add it later, but forgot to put it back. The thing about Sly, Was he lying then or is he lying now?

    As for Amazon, I hear you. But that’s an awfully high multiple. Happy for you, though. I’m all about GOOG these days myself. Safer.

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