1. Toyota Harrumph-athon!
Pope Francis, in El Paso: “A person who thinks only about building walls, wherever they may be, and not building bridges, is not very Christian.” See, the Pope is for improving our infrasctructure, too. The Trump replies that The Pope is “disgraceful.” And then Jerry Falwell, Jr., says that “John F. Kennedy would be rolling over in his graver right now” over the Pope’s comments.
Let’s be fair to The Pope, shall we? He was asked if he believes The Trump should be president, and he clearly replied, ” “I am not going to get involved in that. I say only that this man is not Christian if he has said things like that…”
To which Falwell, Jr., replied, “Here’s the Pope saying we have to choose the leaders — sounds like he’s saying this — that share his faith.” Which, of course, is exactly not what the Pope said at all.
If you’re playing at home, How far will the Far Right, the fringe of the Conservative Party who believes they’ve cornered the market on Christianity, go to protect their political interests? They’ll tell the leader of the Catholic Church to stay in his lane. Wonderful.
Trump: “If and when ISIS attacks the Vatican, the Pope will wish that Donald Trump had been elected president.” Then later, when Trump had calmed down, he joked, “If it’s good I like the Pope; if it’s bad, I don’t like the Pope.” ( <–That’s what you should have originally said, Donald).
I mean, the nerve of the Pope to claim that a serial philanderer, a man who has been divorced twice because of adultery, who is infamous for not paying his vendors and contractors, and who basically labeled an entire nation of people as “rapists and drug dealers,” the nerve of the Pope to assert that such behavior is “not Christian.” Who does he think he is? The Pope?
2. Toyota Harrumph-athon! (Continued)
Chris Warcraft vs Clay Travis. I don’t even have the energy for this one, but you can watch it if you like.
Endangered dolphins vs. idiot narcissists with selfie sticks. Makes me too upset to even post the picture; I just hope every human in it dies soon, and painfully.
SB Nation vs. everybody. A sympathetic, 12,000-word story about a convicted rapist who’s a cop who preyed mostly on female minorities? Of course we should run that! Kudos to SB Nation editorial director Spencer Hall for a forthright and unqualified apology. On the other hand, methinks he’ll be a tad less snarky on Twitter in the coming weeks.
Not the finest day in the history of the republic, yesterday.
3. Pearl Harbor Plunge
One person is in critical condition after this civilian Bell helicopter with at least five people aboard plunged into Pearl Harbor yesterday. Another five to ten yards closer to the bystanders, and it would have been a lot worse for everyone. No reason as of yet for the crash. The accident occurred just 1000 yards or so from the U.S.S. Arizona Memorial.
4. Born To Run
If you have not already, meet Allie Ostrander, a freshman at Boise State University. Last fall she finished second at the NCAA Cross Country National Championships. This winter she is breaking Mountain West Conference indoor track records and has run the fastest indoor 3,000 and 5,000 times n the entire nation.
But that, as they say, is not all: Ostrander (whose name autocorrects to “Stranger” and will drive all of us Mac users insane) hails from Alaska’s Kenai Peninsula, on which is staged the annual Fourth of July Mount Marathon race. She won the race as a junior six consecutive times (often beating both all boys and girls) and last summer, in her debut as a senior, she broke the 25 year-old course record (the race has been staged since 1915).
Rumor has it that Ostrander chose Boise State over Oregon because the latter would not allow her to continue competing in Mount Marathon. Hey, Pablo Torre, how do I submit one of those “30 For 30 Short” pitch ideas?
5. Les Grizzerables
On the last day that NBA trades could be made this season, the Memphis Grizzlies, who already have Matt Barnes (“And I would drive 100 miles/And I would drive 100 more/Just to be the man bead Derek Fisher/The man whom I do most abhor”), Zach Randolph and Tony Allen, acquired serial earhole blower Lance Stephenson. Let The Big Lead provide more details here…
Question: Do you know the name of the Memphis Grizzlies’ coach? I didn’t (it’s Dave Joerger). But does it matter? My guess is that Joerger’s most commonly used phrase is, “C’mon, guys!”
This is vintage. With Bon Scott as lead singer AC/DC makes an early appearance on The Midnight Special in 1978, introduced by Steven Tyler and Ted Nugent (we didn’t know how good we had it, he says for the thousandth time). Angus Young does his Angus Young thing, and the satchel is a nice touch.
The Walking Dead
9 p.m. AMC
Zombie, please. Last Sunday’s Zombie Gettysburg (in Alexandria) coupled with Daryl’s one-shot incineration of Negan’s biker gang will not soon be topped. This week could be the equivalent of that slow song right after “Rock Lobster” at the junior high dance. But we’ll have to tune in to find out, and I imagine the producers will at least give us a taste as to what’s in store for us with Negan, whom we have yet to meet.