by John Walters

A Medium Happy 52nd to Andy Serkis. Love the precious.

Starting Five

Is that Tracy Flick (Reese Witherspoon) or Hillary Clinton? Does it matter?

Dem and Dumber

Finally, after yesterday’s New York 2016 presidential primaries, the resignation is setting in (yes, it’s no accident I used “2016”, “presidential” and “resignation” in the same sentence). Donald Trump got 60% of the vote (“HUUUUUGE”) and Hillary Clinton received 58% of the vote.

You and I may have flirted with “Feel the Bern or “I’m OKasich, You’re OKasich” (I made that one up; they shoulda used it), but this election is going to be the 1999 movie Election: the smart, anal-retentive girl who has been vying for the job since the first day of high school, if not sooner, and the big, dumb jock whose blatant pandering doesn’t seem to bother anyone. I don’t know who is Matthew Broderick’s character in this scenario.

Get ready for Hillary versus Donald. “Benghazi” versus “7-11.”

2. The Voyeur’s Motel

Spying on guests was a Foos’ errand….

So yesterday I was talking to Keith Arnold on our new podcast, “Blown Coverage” ( <–That sounded like a plug; was that a plug?), and he told me about this story by legendary journalist Gay Talese that appears in the new issue of The New Yorker. It’s the true story of Gerald Foos, who erected a motel in which he created peepholes, etc., so that he could covertly spy on couples having sex. Of course, the situation deteriorated from there.

Steven Spielberg already optioned the rights and Sam Mendes is directing the film.

Gay Talese, 84, national treasure

By the way, if you have read “Devil In The White City,” which is also being turned into a movie starring Leo (speaking of Sam Mendes, indirectly….Kate W.), you know that its central character also builds a motel of sorts and creates secret passageways and peepholes with a much more sinister clandestine purpose in mind. And that, like Talese’s tale, it’s based on a true story.

I have yet to read Talese’s piece, but thanks to the miracle of the inter webs you can steal it read it for free here.

3. It Lacks Cat Class, And It Lacks Cat Style

The new Jaguar looks like just another alley cat

That’s the 2017 Jaguar XE, unveiled earlier this week. It looks a lot like a Buick.

This is the 1965 Jaguar E, which is suitable for international espionage (“Yeah, baby! Yeah!“)

4. Samso-nite

Samso has it all figured out….

Good story on CBS This Morning about a small farming island off the coast of Denmark, Samso, that is way ahead of the curve on renewable energy. The farmers there purchased their own wind turbines and put solar panels atop their barns. The island is green, the energy is all renewable, and everyone is doing well. It’s kind of like that island in Wicker Man without the annual human sacrifice (unless they just failed to report that). If you can get past the eyesore of the turbines, it’s pretty sweet.

Don’t think of them as turbines, think of them as slalom posts for water skiers

Related: March was the 11th consecutive month that was the hottest for that month in recorded history. So there’s that.

5. Spence For Hire*

Spence finished 9th in her marathon debut

*If you’re hiring people to run marathons, which, why would you be doing that?

The Boston Marathon was run on a lovely day two days ago. Mississippi State football coach Dan Mullen ran it, even though he did not need a qualifying time, because $$$$ (yes, it was for charity, but so what? Just write a freakin’ check. The rest of us have to actually finish a previous marathon under a certain time to get into the race.). Mullen ran a 4:28. The accepted time for a man his age, 42, simply to qualify is to have run a previous marathon in 3:12 or under.

ANYWAAAAAAAY, the top three male finishers were Ethiopians and none of us know them. The top two female finishers were Ethiopian and, you know, ibid. The only American who finished in the single digits was Neely Spence Gracey, a woman who finished 9th. You may, if you’re a running fan, recognize that name because he father (and her college coach at Shippensburg U. in Pa.) is former Olympic marathoner Steve Spence.

For Spence, 26, who ran a 2;35, it was her marathon debut. But she was actually born on Marathon Monday in 1990, and on that day Steve finished 19th at Boston. Two years later he won the Olympic Marathon Trials in ’92, but did not medal in Barcelona.


Music 101


Many bands actually seem annoyed when their fans sing along to their most popular songs (hello, Counting Crows). But here, playing at the 2009 Oxegen festival in County Kildare, Ireland, Snow Patrol lead singer Gary Lightbody seems genuinely moved that the crowd knows all the words to the band’s breakout hit (look at the grin on his face as the crowd cries out the chorus, or is he smiling at the irony of the lyric “Even if you cannot hear my voice?“). Then again, they are from Northern Ireland. The band flew in from Italy, where it was on tour with U2, to perform at this event. Feels as if it was worth it. Note: Lightbody had a cameo in season 3 of Game Of Thrones, much of which is filmed in Northern Ireland.

The song hit No. 15 on the US Billboard chart in autumn of 2004.

Remote Patrol

Dr. Mabuse, The Gambler

8 p.m-12:45 a.m. TCM

Should you actually watch a silent film made in Germany in 1922 that is more than four hours long? I dunno: should you watch the Eastern Conference playoffs? Anyway, this is purportedly a classic, included on those “Lists of Films To See Before You Die.” Or is it “Lists of Films To See When You Want To Die?” Anyway, it comes highly recommended.

3 thoughts on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. Are you sure that top photo isn’t the winner of the NY Republican primary without his make-up?

    I believe all the top American distance runners had just competed in the Olympic Trials marathon. Also, what’s the doping status of Ethiopia? Anything like Kenya, which we NOW know is & has been a rampant hotbed of doping & almost NONEXISTENT testing (“well, the runners are too far away & inaccessible”…!) And did you read about all the average Kenyan runners sent over to the USA & around the world to “compete” in small-medium sized marathons to win the cash? Winning the money (& improving the lives of their families) is not the issue, it’s the apparent doping sanctioned &/or coordinated by their “agents”. And all these DECADES, we gullible Americans were fed the MYTH that the Kenyans were somehow superior runners because of the ALTITUDE in their country & that constant running was a daily activity amongst all.

    BTW, you haven’t mentioned Meldonium lately. Still think Sharapova is to be commended for “stepping up”? Yes, WADA failed in not finding out how long the drug stays in the body BUT the MAIN POINT is that almost every Russian & many eastern European athletes in multiple sports was taking this HEART MEDICATION & not for a “heart condition”! It was either recommended, sanctioned or mandated by the Russian sports federations! My god, this makes the use of EPO by the small pro-cycling teams seem QUAINT!

    Between the corruption & the doping, the Olympics are in peril. I weep.

  2. On your Manziel Newsweek piece, I liked your tie-in with the album name; sums JM up in 3 words. BTW, do you remember what I wrote rightchere about Manziel before he was drafted? However, even *I* didn’t quite see THIS train wreck.

    Also, I’m really loving that I can freely (as in FREE) go to Newsweek to read all your pieces now & not just try to devine from the title if it should be one of the monthly 5. However, the past couple weeks I’ve run into a problem when I try to print your article – the font is all messed up in the same way each time (& thus makes unreadable). I try thru Explorer & Firefox & get the same result. This never happened before & I have no problems printing out from other websites. Is there any way you can mention this to an IT at your workplace?

    Speaking of the internet, did you read the article Dietsch linked about the “digital hell” going on at a Kansas farm? Those poor folks & other totally INNOCENT people being harassed/accused by strangers & law enforcement! I had no idea this was going on. And I care about THIS a lot more than the FBI breaking into a “terrorist’s” smartphone. I hope they all hire lawyers & sue the crap out of companies like MaxMind & “unintended consequences” should NOT be a legal excuse. Gimme Jimmy! 🙂

  3. I didn’t watch Spenser: For Hire as a kid, but I’ve never understood either the nontraditional spelling of the name or the seemingly unnecessary colon in there. And I remember Hawk more than I do Spenser.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.