by John Walters

Starting Five

Donald of Arabia

Remember when candidate Donald Trump said, “We have a problem in this country; it’s called Muslims. We know our current president is one.” (Sept. 17, 2015)

Or when he said, “I wonder if President Obama would have attended the funeral of Justice Scalia if it were held in a Mosque? Very sad that he did not go!” (Feb. 20, 2016)

Or when he told Anderson Cooper, ““I think Islam hates us. There’s something there that — there’s a tremendous hatred there. There’s a tremendous hatred. We have to get to the bottom of it. There’s an unbelievable hatred of us.” (March 20, 2016)


Is he bowing or squatting?

That guy never got on the plane to Riyadh. During his weekend with the world’s largest oil-producing nation, Trump signed a $350 billion defense deal with Saudi Arabia, dangled an olive branch and sounded Obaamaesque (“This is not a battle between different faiths, different sects or different civilizations. This is a battle between barbaric criminals who seek to obliterate human life and decent people, all in the name of religion, people that want to protect life and want to protect their religion. This is a battle between good and evil”) and even called on other Arab leaders to isolate Iran because Iranian extremists were responsible for taking down the World Trade Center.

This would be a great place for a Trump casino

Wait, no. That’s not right. Nineteen of the 20 hijackers were from Saudi Arabia. Which was the first country Trump chose to visit as President of the United States. With all those other countries out there. Did I mention that Saudi Arabia is the world’s largest producer of oil?

2. Irish Go

Notre Dame Stadium, home to the world’s most famous walk-on (“Rudy! Rudy!”) on Sunday became home to a walk-out, as dozens of members of the Class of 2017 exited commencement exercises as Vice President Mike Pence stood up to speak. Been a tough year for these seniors inside that stadium: Michigan State, Duke, Stanford and Virginia Tech, and then you’ve got to end it with Mike Pence?


3. I’m Only Huma

Get the Soul Cycle membership/subscription ready! Huma Abedin is cutting Anthony Weiner loose. S’about time, girl! On Friday the former Congressman man from New York, a.k.a. Carlos Danger, pleaded guilty to federal obscenity charges and he’ll be going away for awhile. That same day Huma filed for divorce. Snap!

4. Mad Scientists

Buried in the final half hour of the final Saturday Night Live episode of the season was perhaps their most daring skit in years: they tried to make the audience laugh at child molestation. Honestly, until the White Castle veer off at the end (maybe the writers just didn’t have a good idea to end the skit? Maybe White Castle actually underwrote it?), this sketch was truly inspired. The Rock was fantastically understated and sold his part so well.

The premise: a conference of evil scientists vying for most evil invention of the year. After that? You’ll have to watch.

5. The Judge: Overruled!

Is Aaron Judge going to be an All-Star starter in the American League outfield as a rookie? He leads the majors in home runs (15), is tied with Mike Trout in WAR (2.9) and then yesterday in New York’s 3-2 win against Tampa Bay he makes a catch like this. Get ready for greatness, Lloyd.

Music 101

If We Were Vampires

Is Jason Isbell the Southern Springsteen? I dunno, but lots of SEC fans on my Twitter feed love him. His wife Amanda Shires provides the harmonies on this new track about the ephemeral quality of love and life itself.

Remote Patrol

Better Call Saul

10 p.m. AMC

Last week’s show was a reset of sorts after the dramatic courtroom episode. But it was also the first time Jimmy McGill referred to himself as “Saul Goodman” since moving to Albuquerque and passing the bar. Also, things are getting more tense between Gus and Hector. The temperatures are starting to rise and certain relationships (Jimmy and Kim, Hector and Nacho, Gus and Hector) and the pot is about to boil over.

One thought on “IT’S ALL HAPPENING!

  1. Based on last week’s postings & that you didn’t mention anything today, I thought you wouldn’t & didn’t watch Cavs-Celtics over the weekend but I just read your Newsweek piece & it seems you did! Talk about whiplash! UP by 50 away but LOSE by 3 at home! Not just the Celtics are in “hoops hospice” (love that) but now Cavs fans are too! And after channeling your fave childhood movie character for the past 6 weeks (Godzilla) , LeBron instead played last night like he was either trying to teach his team a lesson – that we still have much work to do to win another championship or like a badly cloned version of himself. Personally, I blame his pre/post-game pants : did you see them? Grey with narrow white stripes, skinny pants that ended ABOVE the ankle. Sweet Pea – who is dressing you these days?! Euuuuugggh! Hopefully, since his play was less than stellar, those pants will never be seen again!

    I do agree with LBJ that maybe this might be a good thing to have happened – the team was getting a bit too cocky & sloppy, NOT what you want to be with the Supervillains lying in wait. And THEN JR had to piss-off the Sport-Karma gods by doing that little sweeping dance in the 3rd quarter of Game 2. I GROANED when I saw that!

    I wouldn’t have minded the 1-basket game loss if not for that fact that now we have to go back to Boston for Game 5. Crap.

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